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Samantha 

AT 

Coney Island 

AND 


A THOUSAND OTHER 
ISLANDS 


BY 

JOSIAH ALLEN’S WIFE 

(Marietta Holley) 


THE CHRISTIAN HER AL® 
Bible House, New York 


COPYRIGHT, 19H 
COPYRIGHT, 1914 
THE CHRISTIAN HERALD 


•OPYSWMT Offjdfe 

A US 13 : V 
\ 


THE CHRISTIAN HERALD PRESS, BIBLE HOUSE, NEW YORK 

JUL I! 1914 



SPierreficnt ±Alan&K 

{t/orti 


To My Friends: 

The more expensive edition of "Samantha 
at Coney Island and a Thousand Other Islands” 
met with such a pleasant reception from the 
public that I thought best to issue a popular 
edition so that the book might have a still wider 
circulation throughout the United States. 

I hope this book will bring into many homes 
their first glimpses and prose pictures of the 
beautiful Thousand Islands and of the largest 
playground in the world. 






“ 


June, 1914 











CONTENTS 


CHAPTER ONE 

In which the Coney Island Microbe Enters 

Our Quiet Home I 

CHAPTER TWO 

We Set Sail for Thousand Island Park and 
have a Real Good Time, but Josiah Mur- 
murs about Coney *23 

CHAPTER THREE 

We Seek Quiet and Happiness in Their Beau- 
tiful Hants and Mingle with the Pleas- 
ure Seekers of Alexandria Bay .... 39 

CHAPTER FOUR 

We Enjoy the Hospitalities of Whitfield’s 
Aunt’s Boardin’-House at the Park, and 
my Pardner Goes a-Fishin’ 57 

CHAPTER FIVE 

Josiah’s Imagination about His Fishin’ Exploits 
Carries Him to a Pint where I Have to 
Rebuke Him, which Makes Him Dretful 
Huffy 73 

vii 


CONTENTS 


viii 

CHAPTER SIX 

In which I Draw the Matrimonial Line round 
my Pardner and also Keep my Eye on Mr. 
PoMPER 87 

CHAPTER SEVEN 

In which Josiah Proposes to Dance and Mr. 

Pomper Makes an Advance 101 

CHAPTER EIGHT 

In which Mr. Pomper Declares his Intenshuns 

an’ Gives his Views on Matrimony . . 123 

CHAPTER NINE 

In which Mr. Pomper Makes a Offer of Mar- 
riage and Faith has a Wonderful Experi- 
ence 149 

CHAPTER TEN 

We Hear a Great Temperance Sermon, but 

Josiah still Hankers for Coney Island . 165 

CHAPTER ELEVEN 

In which we Return Home, and I Perswaide 

Josiah to Build a Cottage for Tirzah Ann 183 

CHAPTER TWELVE 

In which Josiah still Works at his Plan for 
Tirzah Ann’s Cottage and Decides to Send 
his Lumber C. O. W 201 


CONTENTS 


IX 


CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

In which Josiah and Serenus Depart Sarahup- 

TISHUSLY FOR CONEY ISLAND AND I START IN 

Pursuit 211 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN 
The Curious Sights I seen an’ the Hair-Raisin’ 
Episodes I Underwent in my Agonizin’ Search 

FOR MY pARDNER 221 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN 

I Visit the Moon, Witchin’ Waves, Open Air 
Circus, Advise the Monkeys, Make the 
Male Statute Laugh, but do not Find Josiah 233 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN 

The Wonderful and Mysterious Sights I saw 
in Steeple Chase Park, and my Search there 
for my Pardner 249 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 
In which I Continue my Search for Josiah 
through Dreamland, Huntin’ for him in 
vain, and Return to Bildad’s at night, 
Weary and Despairin’ 273 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 
Josiah Found at last! The Awful Fire in 
Dreamland and the Terrible Sights I saw 


there 


293 


X 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER NINETEEN 

We Return to Jonesville and Josiah Builds 
Tirzah Ann’s Cottage with Strange Inven- 
tions and Additions 309 

CHAPTER TWENTY 

Faith Comes to Visit us. We Attend the Camp 
Meetin’ at Piller Pint, and Faith Meets 
the Lover of her Youth 327 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


PAGE 

Marietta Holley [ Samantha ] Frontispiece 

“ Serenus Gowdey tramped up and down our kitchen 
swingin' his arms and describin' the wonders of 
Coney Island " 8 

“ The old deacon couldn't stand such talk. He turned 
him out-doors , slammed the door in his face , and 
forbid Faith to speak to him again " .... 14 

“I liked Castle Rest. It seemed a monument riz up to 
faithful , patient mothers by the hand of filial grati- 
tude and love " 49 

“ I tried to stop him. I didn't want him to demean him- 
self before the oarsmen tryin' to find boats that hadn't 
been hearn on in hundreds of years " .... 68 

<CC I won't wear a veil,' sez he stoutly. But the next 
time a gale come from the sou' west I laid the brim 
back and tied the veil in a big bow knot under his 
chin " 83 

“ ‘ What does ail you , Samantha , lockin' arms with me 
all the time — it will make talk!' he whispered in a 
mad , impatient whisper , but I would hang on as long 

as Mr. Pomper wuz around " 99 

xi 


xii ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

11 As they come nigh me 1 riz up almost wildly and 
ketched holt of my pardner and sez I: ‘ Desist ! 
Josiah Allen , stop to once!' The aged female 
looked at me in surprise " 132 

Ui No' sez Mr. Pomper , ‘/ want it done as speedily 
as possible , fer my late lamented left me thirteen 
children , two pairs of triplets , two ditto of twins , 
and three singles '" 144 

“Mr. Pomper , thinkin ' he would see better , got up on 
the bench , and jest as he shouted out ‘ How firm a 
foundation the bench broke and down he come " . 169 

“ And then he would call in Uncle Nate Peedick and 
they would bend their ttvo gray bald heads and talk 
about specifications and elevations till my brain 
seemed most as soft as theirn" 196 

Ui Serenus and Josiah are havin' a gay time at Coney 
Island. Pve jest had a card from Serenus,' sez 
Miss Gowdey. You could have knocked me down 
with a pin feather" 215 

“/ stood before what seemed to be a great city. End- 
less white towers riz up as if callin' attention to 
'em" 227 

“ On they went under the waterfall , up , up , down , down , 

and finally shot out jest where we got in" . . . 231 

“ Folks get into little automobiles and steer 'em them- 
selves" 236 


ILLUSTRATIONS xiii 

PAGE 

“A boat full of men and women set out from the highest 
peak , shot down the declivity like lightnin’, and 
dashed way out on the other side of the bridge” . . 239 

16 Rows of high headed mettlesome bosses” .... 247 

“I’m tellin ’ the livin’ truth , as she towered up in 
front on me , her breast opened and a man’s face 
looked out on me” 254 

“As I went down with lightnin’ speed 1 hadn’t time 

to think much” 259 

“ Pretty soon it begun to move and one by one they wuz 

throwed off and went down I know not where” . 261 

“As I went into Dreamland it seemed as if all the folks 

in the city wuz there ” 267 

“We got in a small boat and wuz carried round and 

round till we dived into a dark tunnel” . . . 277 

“ I went forward to see the Head Hunters. I sez to ’em , 

‘ I’ve he am of your doin’ s and I want to advise you 
for your good’” 282 

“It wuz a sight to see , acres and acres of sand dotted 

with men , women , and children ” 287 

“I rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast above , 
jest ready to spring: ( Don’t harm Josiah! Devour 
me instead!”’ 304 

“I myself never set foot on the Bowery; I wuzn’t goin ’ 
to nasty up my mind with it , though I he am there 
wuz some good things to be seen there” . . . . 314 


xiv ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAG] 

“‘The suller !' He stood agast , perfectly dumb- 
founded but wuzn't goin' to give in he had made a 
mistake . It wuz too mortifying to his pride” . 31c 

“I don't know how long they stood there , his eyes 
sear chin' the dear face and findin' a sacred meanin ' 
in it” 


34 * 


CHAPTER ONE 

In which the Coney Island Mi- 
crobe enters our quiet home. 










V ■ 


v .» 







I 




tit 








i 




















* 



Samantha at Coney Island and 
a Thousand Other Islands 

CHAPTER ONE 

IN WHICH THE. CONEY ISLAND MICROBE 
ENTERS OUR QUIET HOME 

W HEN Serenus Gowdey got back last 
fall from Brooklyn, where his twin 
brother, Sylvester, lives, he couldn’t 
talk about anything but Coney Island. He 
slighted religion, stopped runnin’ down rela- 
tions, politics wuz left in the lurch, and cows, 
hens, and crops, wuz to him as if they wuzn’t. 
He acted crazy as a loon about that Island. 

Why, Sylvester’ses wife told Miss Dagget 
and she told the Editor of the Augur’s wife, and 
she told Ben Lowry’s widder, and she told the 
Editor of the Gimlet’s mother-in-law, and she 
told me. It come straight, that Serenus only 
stayed there nights and to a early breakfast, 
but spent his hull durin’ time to Coney Island, 
and he a twin too. She said Sylvester felt so 


3 


4 


SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


hurt she wuz afraid it would make a lastin’ 
hardness. And it made me enough trouble too, 
yes indeed ! for he would come and pour out his 
praises of that frisky, frivolous spot into Josiah’s 
too willin' ears, till he got him as wild as he wuz 
about it. 

Why, evenin’s after he’d been there recountin’ 
its attractions till bed-time, Josiah would be so 
wrought up he’d ride night mairs most all 
night. He’d spring up in bed cryin’ out, “All 
aboard for Coney Island!” or, “There is the 
Immoral Railway! See the divin’ girls, and 
the Awful Tower. Get a hot dog; look at the 
alligators, etc., etc.” I gin him catnip to soothe 
his nerve, but that didn’t git the pizen out of 
his system; no, acres of catnip couldn’t. 

Oh, how dead sick I’d git of their talk, Coney 
Island! Luna Park! Well named, I’d say to 
myself, it is enough to make anybody luny to 
hear so much about it. Steeple Chase! chasin’ 
steeples, folly and madness. Dreamland! night 
mairs, most probable. Why, from Serenus’ 
talk that I hearn onwillingly about toboggan 
slides, merry-go-rounds, swings, immoral rail- 
ways, skatin’ rinks, diving girls, loops de loops, 
and bumps de bumps, trips to the moon and 
trashy shows of all kinds I got the idee there 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 5 

wuzn’t nothin’ there God had made, only the 
Ocean and the little incubator babies, though 
them two shows wuzn’t what you might call 
similar and the same size. Why, I myself, with 
my powerful mind, would git so cumfuddled 
hearin’ his wild and glarin’ descriptions, that my 
brain would seem to turn over under my foretop, 
and I didn’t wonder at Josiah’s bein’ led away 
by it, much as I lamented it, for he soon declared 
that go there he would. 

In vain I reminded him that he wuz a deacon 
and a grandfather. He said he didn’t care how 
many deacons he wuz, or how many grand- 
fathers; he wuz goin’ to see that beautiful and 
entrancin’, place with his own eyes. I tried to 
quell him down, but couldn’t quell him worth a 
cent, with Serenus firin’ him up on the other 
side. 

One Sunday, Elder Minkley preached am 
eloquent sermon describing the glories of the 
New Jerusalem, and Josiah said goin’ home 
that from Serenus’ tell, the elder had gin a 
crackin’ good description of Coney Island. 

I groaned aloud. And he sez, “You may 
groan and sithe all you’re a minter; I shall see 
that magnificent place before I die.” 

“Well,” sez I coldly, “I don’t want to talk 


6 


SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


about it Sunday. If you’ve got to talk about 
shows and Pleasure Huntin’, do it week days, 
and don’t pollute this sacred day with it.” 

“ Pollute nothing ! ” sez he, and we didn’t speak 
for over two milds. But another weariness wuz 
ahead on me, and another strain on my over- 
worked ear pans. Jest about this time, Whit- 
field Minkley, our Tirzah Ann’s husband, got 
jest as much carried away and enthused over 
some other Islands, though he had more to show 
for his het up state of mind. One thousand and 
seventy wuz the number of islands he fell voy- 
lently in love with and tried to make us the 
same. He had been to Canada on bizness and 
went through them islands, and wuz overcome 
by their extreme beauty. I’d heard that Whit- 
field’s islands wuz as beautiful as anything this 
side of the Heavenly gardens. Still, with 
Serenus on one side praisin’ up Coney, and 
Whitfield on the other praisin’ up his islands, I 
got so dead tired of ’em that I wished there 
wbzn’t a single island on the hull face of the 
earth. Yes, extreme weariness had got me so 
low down as that. 

One evenin’, Serenus had been there and 
talked three hours stiddy, describin’ the charms 
and attractions of his island. The rush and roar 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 7 

of the mechanical amusements, so wonderful 
they made scientific men wonder. The edu- 
cated animals that showed how fur animals could 
be made to reason and understand. The con- 
stant hustle and bustle of the immense crowds, 
ever cornin’, ever goin’, ever movin’, never stop- 
pin’. He stood up some of the time describin’ 
the wonders and splendors there, and tramped 
up and down our kitchen floor, swingin’ his 
arms and actin’, till, when he left at late bed- 
time, Josiah wuz pale with longin’, and when 
I got up to lock the door and let out the cat, 
my head seemed to go round and round, and 
I had to hang onto the door nob to stiddy 
myself. 

And the very next forenoon Whitfield and 
Tirzah Ann and little Delight come to spend 
the day. Her name is Anna Tirzah, but I called 
her Heart’s Delight, she wuz so sweet and 
pretty, and we’ve shortened it into Delight. I 
wuz glad to see ’em and done well by ’em in 
cookin’. I had a excelent dinner started — 
roast fowl and vegetables and orange puddin’, 
etc. — but Whitfield, jest as soon as he sot 
down, begun to descant on the beauty of his 
islands. I groaned and sithed out in the 
buttery. “ Islands agin! I had one island last 


8 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



floor swingin' his arms and describin' the wonders of 
Coney Island. ( See page f) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 9 

night till bed- time, and now IVe got one thou- 
sand and seventy ahead on me.” 

He begun jest as I put my potatoes on to bile, 
I wuz goin’ to smash ’em with plenty of cream 
and butter; I hearn him till dinner wuz on the 
table, and I wuz turnin’ out the rich, fragrant 
coffee and addin’ the cream to it, and his praise 
on ’em wuz still flowin’ in a stiddy stream, and 
then I asked him, in one of his short pauses 
for breath, how Grout Nickelson’s rumatiz 
wuz. 

He answered polite but brief, and resoomed 
the subject nearest and dearest. I then, with 
dizzy foretop and achin’ ear pans, tried to 
turn his mind onto politics and religion, no 
avail. I tried cotton cloth, carbide, lamb’s 
wool blankets, Panama Canal, literatoor, X rays, 
hens’ eggs, Standard Oil, the school mom, 
reciprocity, and the tariff ; not a mite of change, 
all his idees swoshin’ up against them islands, 
and tryin’ to float off our minds there with 
hisen. I thought of what I’d hearn Thomas J. 
read about Tennyson’s character, who “ didn’t 
want to die a listener,” and I sez in a firm voice, 
“I’ve had a letter from Cousin Faithful Smith. 
She’s cornin’ here next spring to make a visit.” 

Whitfield said he should love to see Cousin 


IO SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


Faith, but whilst she wuz here, we all ort to go 
to the Thousand Islands. 

Sez Josiah firmly, “We ort to take her to 
Coney Island,” and he went on rehearsin’ 
Serenuses praises, and the education and the 
bliss one could git there. He rid his hobby 
nobly, but Whitfield, bein’ young and spry, 
could ride his hobby faster and furder, till 
finally Josiah got discouraged, and sot still a 
spell, and then scratched his head, and went 
out to the barn. And Whitfield seated himself 
with ease on his hobby, which pranced about 
us till, well as I love the children, I felt relieved 
to see ’em go, for my head felt as if the river 
wuz rushin’ through it. And after they left 
and we driv over to the post office, it seemed as 
if the democrat wuz a boat and the dusty road 
a broad, liquid stream, down which we wuz 
glidin’ and the neighin’ of the old mair (we had 
to leave her colt to home) wuz the snort of a 
steamer. My dreams that night wuz about 
the Saint Lawrence, kinder swoshy and floatin’ 
round. 

Well, the cold winter passed away, as winters 
will, if you have patience to wait (or if you 
don’t either, to be exact and truthful). The 
shiverin’ earth begun to git a little warmer, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS n 


kinder shook herself and partly throwed off the 
white fur robe she’d wore all huddled round 
herself so long, and as the sun looked down 
closter and more smilin’ it throwed it clear off 
and begun to put on its new green spring suit. 
Them same smiles, only more warm and per- 
suadin’ like, coaxed the sweet sap up into the 
bare maple tops in Josiah’s sugar bush and the 
surroundin’ world, till them, same sunny smiles 
wuz packed away in depths of sugar loaves and 
golden syrup in our store room. Wild-flowers 
peeped out in sheltered places; pussy willows 
bent down and bowed low as they see their 
pretty faces in the onchained brook; birds 
sung amongst the pale green shadders of openin’ 
leaves; the west wind jined in the happy chorus. 
And lo! on lookin’ out of our winder before we 
knowed it, as it were, we see Spring had come! 

And with the spring come my expected visitor, 
Faithful Smith. She is my own cousin on my 
own side, called by some a old maid. But she 
hain’t so very old, and she’s real good-lookin’ 
— better than when she wuz a girl, I think, for 
life has been cuttin’ pure and sweet meanin’s 
into her face, some as they carve beauty into a 
cameo. She’s kinder pale and her sweet soul 
seems to look right out at you from her soft gray 


12 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


eyes, and the lay of her hull face is such that 
you would think, if the fire of happiness could 
be built up under it (in her soul), it would light 
up into loveliness. 

She wuz disappinted some years ago (or 
I d’no what you would call it) when she sent the 
man away herself. But she had a Bo when 
she wuz a girl by the name of Richard West. 
Dick West wuz the fullest of fun you ever see, 
though generous and good hearted; but he 
boasted on not believin’ anything, and Faith- 
ful’s father, bein’ a church member of the closest 
kind, and she brung up as you may say, right 
inside the tabernacle, with her Pa’s phylakracy 
hangin’ on the very horns of the altar, you may 
know what opposition Richard got from her Pa 
and her own conscience. Her conscience, as so 
many good girl’s consciences are, wuz a perfect 
tyrant, and drove her round — that, and her Pa. 
He wanted to be a good man, but wuz bigoted 
and couldn’t see no higher than the top of the 
steeple, and didn’t want to. And take these 
facts, with her deep true love for Richard, you 
may know she got tossted about more’n con- 
siderable. 

Richard would make fun right in meetin’ — 
make fun of their religious observances — and 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 13 

finally, though he wuz good natured, and did all 
his pranks through light-hearted mischief and 
not malice, yet at last he did git mad at the old 
deacon, who wuz cornin’ it dretful strong on 
him with his doctrines and exhortin’ him, 
tellin’ him he wuz a lost soul and had been from 
before his birth. Then Richard sassed him 
right back and told him he didn’t believe in 
his idee of the Deity. 

The old deacon couldn’t stand such talk. 
He turned him out-doors, slammed the door in 
his face, and forbid Faith to speak to him again. 
She obeyed her Pa and her own conscience; 
but it seemed to take all the nip out of her life. 
You see, she loved this young man; and when 
anyone like Faith loves it hain’t for a week or a 
summer, but for life. 

He writ to her burnin’ words of love and pas- 
sion, for he loved her too in the old-fashioned 
way Adam did Eve — no other woman round, 
you know. And the words he writ wuz, I spoze, 
enough to melt a slate stun, let alone a heart, 
tender and true. She never writ a word back, 
and at last she wouldn’t read his letters and 
sent ’em back onopened. That madded him 
and he went on from bad to worse, swung right 
out into wickedness. He seemed to git harder 


i4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



him out-doors , slammed the door in his face, and for- 
hid Faith to speak to him again” ( See page if) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 15 

and harder, and finally seein’ he could make no 
more impression on Faith than he could on 
white clear crystal, he went off west, as fur as 
Michigan at first, so I hearn, and so on, I don’t 
know where to. 

Well, Faith lived on in the old home, very 
calm and sweet actin’, with a shadder on her 
pretty face, worryin’ dretful about her lover, 
so it wuz spozed. But at last it seemed to wear 
off and a clear white light took its place on her 
gentle forward, as if her trouble had bleached 
off the earthly in her nature so her white soul 
could show through plain. Mebby she’d got 
willin’ to trust even his future with the Lord. 

Dretful good to children and sick folks and 
them that wuz in trouble, Faith wuz. Good to 
her Pa, who wuz very disagreable in his last 
days, findin’ fault with his porridge and with 
sinners, and most of them round him. But she 
took care on him patient, rubbed his back and 
soaked his feet, and read the Sams to him, 
and reconciled him all she could, and finally he 
went out into the Great Onknown to find out 
his own mistakes if he had made any, and left 
Faith alone. 

The house wuz a big square one with a large 
front yard with some Pollard willers standin’ 


16 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

in a row in front on’t, through which the wind 
come in melancholy sithes into the great front 
chamber at night where Faith slept, or ruther 
lay. And the moon failin’ through the willers 
made mournful reflections on the clean-painted 
floor, and I spoze Faith looked at ’em and read 
her past in the white cold rays and her future 
too. 

She hired a man and his wife to live in part 
of the house, and she herself lived on there, a 
life as cold and colorless as a nun’s. But there 
wuz them that said that she loved that young 
West to-day jest as well as she did the day they 
parted, bein’ one of the constant naters that 
can’t forgit; that she kep’ his birthdays every 
year, but sarahuptishously, and on the anniver- 
sary of the day she parted with him, nobody 
ever see her from mornin’ till night. 

The tall Pollard willers wuz the only ones 
that could look down into her chamber, and see 
how she looked, or what she wuz doin’. And 
they never told, only jest murmured and sithed, 
and kinder took on about it in their own way. 
But the next day, Faith always looked paler 
and sweeter than ever, they said. 

Well, I wuz glad enough to see Faith. I 
think a sight on her and she of me, and we had 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 17 

a real good time. Josiah sez to me the day after 
she come, “She is the flower of your family !” 

And I told him I didn’t know as I should put 
it in jest that way, and he might jest as well 
be mejum, sez I, “You’re quite apt to demean 
the relation on my side, and if you take it into 
your head to praise one of the females, you no 
need to go too high.” 

“Well,” he repeated, “she is the flower of the 
Smith race. Of course,” sez he, glancin’ at my 
liniment and then off towards the buttery full 
of good vittles, “ I always except you , Samantha, 
who I consider the fairest flower that ever 
blowed out on the family tree of Smith.” 

Josiah is a man of excelent judgment. But 
to resoom backward, I had a dretful good visit 
with Faith and enjoyed her bein’ with us the 
best that ever wuz. Instead of makin’ work 
she helped, though I told her not to. She 
would wipe and I would wash, and we would 
git through the dishes in no time. She hunted 
round in my work basket and found some night- 
caps I’d begun and would finish ’em, put more 
work on ’em than I should, for I slight my every 
day sheep’s-head night-caps. But she trimmed 
’em and cat-stitched ’em, till they wuz beautiful 
to look upon. She wuz always very sweet and 


18 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


gentle in her ways. As wuz said of her once, 
she entered a room so quietly and gracefully, 
she made all the other wimmen there feel as 
if they'd come in on horse-back. NoW that 
I hadn’t seen her for some time, it seemed as if 
I hadn’t remembered how lovely and interestin’ 
she wuz. 

We had a good visit talkin’ about the world’s 
work, and reciprocity, and Woman’s suffrage — 
which we both believed in — and hens, both 
settin’ and layin’. And we talked about the 
relation on our two sides. Of course, some of 
the wimmen hadn’t done as we thought they 
ort to; but we didn’t run ’em, only wuz sorry 
they wuz so different. 

There wuz Aunt Nancy John and Aunt Nancy 
Jim, widders of the two old Smith twins. I 
told Faith I wuz sorry they wuzn’t more like 
her mother and mine, our mothers wuz so much 
better dispositioned, and fur better lookin’, 
and didn’t try to color their hair and act younger 
than they wuz; and Uncle Preserved’s boy, a 
lawyer, I told Faith it wuz a pity he wuzn’t 
more like our Thomas Jefferson, though it 
wuzn’t to be expected that there could be two 
boys amongst the relations so nearly perfect 
as Thomas Jefferson wuz; but I didn’t act 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 19 

hauty, only wuz sorry he hadn’t turned out so 
well. 

And Uncle Lemuel’s two girls, I said I 
wouldn’t want it told out of the family, but they 
wuz extravagant and slack, and their houses 
didn’t look much like Tirzah Ann’s and Maggie’s 
house. But we hadn’t ort to expect many such 
housekeepers as our children wuz. And we 
talked about the Thousand Islands and she 
promised to go out with Josiah and me the next 
summer if nothin’ happened. And Josiah then 
and there, tried to make us promise to go to 
Coney Island on our way there. “On our 
way,” sez I, “it would be five hundred milds 
out of our way!” 

“And well worth it!” sez he, “to see what 
Serenus see, and hear what Serenus hearn. 
Why I git so carried away jest hearin’ about 
that magnificent spot that I have to fairly 
hang onto myself to keep from startin’ there 
to once bareheaded.” 

“I know it, Josiah; you’re acted luny about 
it. And if jest hearin’ about it harrers your 
nerve so, what would seein’ it do?” 

“My nerve ain’t harrered,” he sez. 

Sez I, “Can you deny I have had to give you 
quarts of catnip after you have had a seancy 


20 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


with Serenus about that frivolous spot, full of 
hilarity and temptation ?” 

“Because you have drownded out my insides 
with catnip, it hain’t no sign I needed it. And 
I tell you, Samantha Allen, you may demean that 
grand glorious place all you’re a minter; I shall 
see it ere long. It is the shinin’ gole I have rared 
up in front of me and I’m bound ta set on it.” 

Sez I, “If you hain’t got any nobler gole than 
that ahead on you I pity you from the bottom 
of my heart.” And to kinder skair him I sez 
agin, “Do you a Christian deacon, want to act 
frisky and go pleasure-huntin’ at your age?” 

“Why,” sez he, “Serenus sez it is the most 
entrancin’ly beautiful and fascinatin’ spot on 
earth. He sez, and can prove, it is the biggest 
playground in the hull world, to say nothin’ of 
what you can learn there, and folks come from 
foreign countries jest to see it. Their first 
question when they land is, ‘Where is Coney 
Island? Lead me to it! ’” 

“Oh shaw!” sez I. 

“Well, it is so, and why should such droves 
of folks go there if it hain’t worth it? Serenus 
sez and can prove, that a million folks go there 
in one day sometimes, and hundreds of thou- 
sands most every day.” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 21 


Sez I solemnly, “Do you remember the him, 
‘Broad is the road that leads,’ you know where. 
‘And thousands walk together there.’ Do you 
want to walk with ’em, Josiah?” 

“Yes, I do, and lay out to.” 

Oh how deep the pizen had gone into his solar 
system! I see scarin’ didn’t do no good, so I 
tried tender talk to wean him from the idee. 
I told him I thought too much on him to resk 
him there in such crowds. He wuz too small 
boneded and his head too weak to grapple with 
the lures and temptations that would surround 
him, and I’d never give my consent to his goin,’ 
much less lead him into temptation. 

“Lead your granny!” sez he in a rough axent. 
And that wuz all the good my lovin’ talk did. 

Faith said she didn’t care about goin’. But 
we took her to visit the children, though the 
day I took her to Whitfield’s he had of course, 
jest like Josiah, to ride that hobby of hisen 
which raced and cavorted round us, till before 
night he got us both most as wild as he wuz 
about the Islands. But she had to go from our 
house to Uncle Ornaldo Smithses, and had 
promised to visit friends out to Ohio durin’ the 
summer. I hated to have her go. 









IV e set sail for Thousand Island 
Park and have a real good time , 
but Josiah murmurs about 



CHAPTER TWO 


WE SET SAIL FOR THOUSAND ISLAND PARK 
AND HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME , BUT 
JOSIAH MURMURS ABOUT CONEY 

S OON after, Whitfield wuz obleeged to go 
to Canada agin on that bizness and go 
through them Thousand Islands, and 
said he felt like jumpin’ off the boat, swimmin’ 
ashore and buyin’ the hull on ’em, they wuz so 
entrancin’ly lovely. But by holdin’ onto his 
principles and patience (of course he’d got quite 
a lot of patience, he’d been married a number 
of years) he managed to git through without 
jumpin’ off the boat and tacklin’ the job of 
buyin’ ’em, but said to himself, “If my life is 
spared to finish up that bizness I’ll come back 
and buy ten or a dozen.” 

So sure enough on his way back he stopped off 
at Alexandria Bay and tackled a real estate 
agent to see what he would ask for a few islands 
close to the beautiful Bay. He had a idee, I 
spoze, of locatin’ the relation on his side and 
hern round on the different Islands, mebby an 

25 


26 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


island apiece. But to his surprise and horrow 
he found that the price for the smallest one wuz 
appallin’. But he vowed that if it took every 
cent of money he had (and he’s quite well off) 
he would own a piece of one big enough for a 
house. 

So, after searchin’ both by water and by 
land, he found a buildin’ spot he felt able to 
buy. It wuz on one end of an island that wuz 
called Shadow Island, mebby because the shad- 
der of the tall trees upon it wuz mirrored so 
plain in the water, makin’ it look as if there wuz 
another and fairer isle below. 

There wuz a big empty house standin’ on one 
end of the Island, the owner bein’ in Europe 
and not wantin’ to rent it. There wuz a por- 
tion of it smooth and grassy, though the grass 
wuz kinder thin in places, the rocks come up so 
dost to the surface. But as I told Whitfield, 
stun is cleaner than dirt, and more healthy, 
unless you have ’em both throwed at you, in 
that case dirt is more healthy. He said the 
spot wuz dry and there wuz some hemlock and 
pine trees standin’ on one end on’t, and under 
’em wuz a carpet of the rich brown leaves and 
pine needles that Whitfield thought would be 
beautiful for little Delight to play in. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 27 

And on the spot he’d picked out for a house 
the soil wuz deep enough for a good suller. 
Tirzah Ann always did love sullers; she kinder 
took to ’em. She has to go down suller most 
the first thing when she comes home visitin’. 
She never seems to want anything, only to sort 
o’ look round. Some say her ma wuz so; but 
there is worse things to take to than sullers, 
and I wuz glad enough there wuz a place there 
where Tirzah Ann could have one. 

Well, I declare I fell in love with the place 
myself. And he beset us to go out and see it, 
and early in the summer we sot sail, the hull 
on us, for the Thousand Island Park, a good 
noble campin’ ground, though middlin’ hot in 
some spots. I’ve been asked what made it so 
much hotter there round the Tabernacle than 
it was up to Summer Land, where the Univer- 
salists wuz encamped. And I don’t spoze it is 
because they believe in hotter places, but it 
kinder sets folks to thinkin’. Both places are 
pleasant and cool enough in moderate weather. 

I hadn’t no idee that so beautiful a spot wuz 
so nigh us. For as near as we’ve lived to ’em, 
Josiah and I never laid eyes on them islands 
before. But I’ve hearn of folks that lived 
within’ hearin’ of Niagara Falls that never see 


28 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


that grand and stupendous wonder of the world ; 
they didn’t see it just because they could. 
Queer, hain’t it? But it is a law of nater, and 
can’t be changed. 

So one warm lovely mornin’ we sot out. We 
went by way of Cape Vincent which we found 
afterwards wuzn’t the nearest way, but we 
didn’t care, for it gin us a bigger and longer view 
of the noble St. Lawrence. Cape Vincent is a 
good-lookin’ place, though like Josiah and my- 
self, it looks as if it had been more lively and 
frisky in its younger days. Pretty soon the 
big boat hove in sight. We embarked and got 
good seats, Whitfield full of bliss to think he wuz 
started for his islands. 

And sure enough, tongue can never tell the 
beauty and grandeur we floated by that after- 
noon; nor pen can’t, no, a quill pen made out 
of a eagle’s wing couldn’t soar high enough. 
And my emotions, as I took in that seen, would 
been a perfect sight if anybody could got holt 
of ’em, as I rode along on that mighty river that 
is more like a ocean than a river, holdin’ the 
water that flows from the five great inland seas 
of North America, the only absolutely tide- 
less river in the world. It is so immense in size 
that the spring freshets that disturbs other big 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 29 

rivers has no effect on its mighty depths, though 
once in a while, every three years, I think it is, 
the river draws in her old breath in an enormous 
sithe two or three feet deep, and stays so for 
some time. I d’no what makes it nor nobody 
duz. But truly there is enough in this old 
world to sithe about, as deep sithes as a mortal 
or a river can heave. 

But to resoom forwards. The beautiful river 
bore us onwards, the green shores receedin’ 
on each side till pretty soon it got to be not 
much shore but seemin’ly all river, all freshness 
and freedom and blue sparklin’ water, and blue 
sky above. Nater wuz foldin’ us in her faithful 
arms and sweepin’ us away from the too civilized 
world into the freshness and onstudied beauty 
of her own hants. 

I sot there perfectly entranced, and nothin’ 
occurred to break my rapt musin’s save my 
pardner’s request for a nut cake and a biled egg, 
and a longin’ murmer about Coney Island and a 
wish that he wuz started for there. But that 
didn’t seem to quell my emotions down. I 
handed the food to him with a hand that seemed 
some distance off from my real self. 

The first big island we went by wuz called 
Carleton. Standin’ on it, loomin’ up tall and 


So SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

solemn and mysterious, wuz some high stun 
towers. They stood up there as if tellin , us 
how little we knew. They looked like great 
exclamation points set there to express the 
futility of our boasted knowledge. 

Who built them chimblys? Who started the 
fires under ’em ? Who drinked the tea that wuz 
steeped there? What kind of tea wuz it? Did 
the water bile? How did them tea drinkers 
feel and look and act while them chimblys 
carried off the smoke of their fire? What wuz 
their highest aspirations and idees? What wuz 
their deepest joy and keenest pain ? What 
goles did they see ahead on ’em, and did they 
ever set down on them goles? I can’t tell nor 
Josiah can’t. A hundred years ago one moul- 
derin’ old head-stun leaned over the grave of 
one of that company. Wuz it a glad or a sad 
heart that rested there in that ancient grave? 
Well, the sadness or the joy is jest as much lost 
and forgot as the smoke that wafted up towards 
the sky on the June and December mornin’s of 
1600 odd. 

As I thought of all these things, them lofty 
towers riz up like gigantick skeleton fingers out- 
stretched mockin’ly. They seemed to be sayin’ 
to me and Josiah and the world at large, “You 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 31 

may boast of your inventions, your marvels of 
this age, your civilization, your glory, your 
pryin’ into dark continents and unexplored 
regions of land and science. But what do you 
know anyway? Of what consequence are you? 
How soon your life and your memory will be 
utterly wiped out and forgotten. How soon the 
careless sun will forget the shadow you cast on 
the earth’s bosom. How soon the green grass of 
the forgettin’ earth will grow fresh and untrodden 
and cover up the traces of your eager footsteps, 
no matter how deep you thought you had made 
the track you walked in. How soon it is all 
wiped away as if it had never been. And Mom 
Nater, instead of weepin’ over your loss, goes 
on wreathin’ new flowers for new hands to 
gather, and mebby forgits to drop even a bud 
on the dusty mound where you lay sleepin’ — 
the sleep of long forgetfulness. 

“Of what account are you anyway? Poor 
blind voyagers, floatin’ by me jest as so many 
generations have gone past — canoe and white 
sails floatin’ along, floatin’ along, cornin’ in view 
of me in the fur blue hazy distance, cornin’ into 
the broad light before me and glidin’ off and 
disappearin’ in the shadows. Forever and ever, 
new ones comin,’ cornin’, goin’, goin,’ year after 


32 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

year, generation after generation. And here 
we have stood calm, settled down, pintin’ up 
into the heavens where our history is gathered 
up, where the ones that made our history are 
gathered like the drops of spray from the river 
that has washed on the shores at our feet, and 
then evaporated up agin into the blue sky.” 

And as I lost sight of them stun towers in the 
distance, they seemed to say, “Float on, poor 
voyagers; float along with your pitiful little 
crumbs of knowledge and wisdom carried so 
proudly. How soon the shadows will drift 
apart to take you into ’em and then close up 
and hold you there forever. And out of the 
shinin’ west new faces will come growin’ plainer 
and plainer as the boat draws near; they will 
shine out full and clear in front of me and then 
glide away into the mist — I shall lose sight of 
’em jest as I do of you to-day. Cornin’ ! domin’ ! 
goin’ ! goin’ ! They will look at me and wonder 
jest as you do to-day, and I will say to ’em jest 
as I do to you, ‘Hail and farewell!’” 

Oh what emotions I did have! And I hadn’t 
more’n got to this pint in my meditatin’, when 
I hearn a voice on the off side on me (Josiah wuz 
on the nigh side). 

The voice said, “Oh how I wish I could be 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 33 

put back there jest a minute and see what them 
tall towers see when they wuz built !” 

I felt that here wuz a congenial soul and I felt 
friendly to him as one would hail a familiar sail 
when they wuz floatin’ on foreign waters. The 
voice went on: 

“Oh how I wish I could be a fly, and fly back 
there for a hour.” 

Instinctively I looked round. The speaker 
weighed three hundred pounds if he did an 
ounce, and the idee of his bein’ turned into a fly 
seemed to bring down my soarin’ emotions more 
than considerable. Truly, we ort to be careful 
how we handle metafors. If he’d said he 
wanted to be changed into a elephant or a camel, 
or even a horse, it wouldn’t have seemed so 
curious, but a fly! ! ! Dear me! 

Clayton is a good-lookin’ drowsy sort of a 
place, and kinder mixed up lookin’ from the aft 
forecastle, where I stood; but at last the little 
foot bridge that connected us with the shore 
wuz took up, the old boat gin a loud yell to 
skair the children and young folks back from the 
water’s edge, and the boat riders from failin’ 
off the boat, and we sot out agin and floated 
along. 

And now pretty soon the islands grew closter 


34 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and closter together, and we wouldn’t no more 
than go by one lovely one, than another more 
perfect lookin’ hove in sight, and then another 
and another, each one seemin’ly more beautiful 
than the last. 

Some times we would go dost up to the shore, 
by islands whose green forests swep’ clear down 
to the water’s edge, makin’ the water look green 
and cool and shady, and the water would narrow 
itself down between two houses seemin’ly jest 
to be accomodatin’, and run along between ’em 
like a little rivulet with water lilies and butter- 
cups dippin’ down into it on each side and boys 
wadin’ acrost. Jest think on’t, that big noble- 
sized river, dwindlin’ itself down jest to obleege 
somebody. 

And sometimes big houses would loom up 
jest above the water’s edge, their daintily shaded 
winders lookin’ down into the green waves and 
reflected there, anon a stately mansion would 
set back a little with towers and pinnacles risin’ 
above the green trees, and cool shady walks 
windin’ by summer houses and bright posy beds, 
and gayly dressed folks walkin’ along the 
beautiful paths, and mebby a pretty girl settin’ 
in a boat, and a hull fleet of boats filled with gay 
pleasure seekers would glide along like gayly 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 35 

plumed sea birds, and fur in the distance and on 
every side white sails would sail on like bigger 
birds of white plumage, all set out for the Isle 
of Happiness. 

I pinted out the metafor to Josiah. 

“Isle of Happiness?” he sez, sort o’ dreamy 
like. “That’s right. Serenus sez its every- 
where, all over the place.” 

“What place?” sez I, suspicion darkenin’ 
my fore top. 

“Why, Coney Island,” sez he, “ that’s the 
only Isle of Happiness I ever hearn tell on.” 

I gin him a look. “Would you compare 
Coney Island with the beautiful Isle of Happi- 
ness that the poets sing on?” I sez, severe like. 

“Where is it?” sez he. 

“Why,” sez I, “It ain’t ennywheres. Its a 
metafor of the brain.” 

“Is it ketchin’?” sez he. “Seems to me I’ve 
hearn tell of that disease before!” And then 
before I could gin him an indignant response, 
he stuck his fingers in his ears and sot there 
grinnin’ like a jimpanzee all the time I wuz 
speakin’ out my mind. But to resoom. 

Anon a bridge would rise up its fairy arch 
and connect two islands together, each one 
holdin’ a mansion that looked like a palace, 


36 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and the bright awnin’s of the winders, the 
pillars and pinnacles, and gay colors, reflected 
in the water makin’ fairy palaces below as 
well as above, and made the hull seen as we 
journeyed on one of enchantment, that would 
made the grand Vizier of Bagdad turn green 
with envy. And every palace, mansion, and 
cottage had its pretty boat-house, with the 
water layin’ there smooth and invitin’ waitin’ 
for the boats to be lanched on its bosom, actin’ 
for all the world like a first class family stream, 
warranted to carry safe and not kick and act 
in the harness. And then mebby the very next 
minute it would swell itself out agin, and be 
twenty or thirty milds acrost, rushin’, hurryin’, 
and dashin’ itself along, hastenin’ to the sea. 

Actin’ as if it had sunthin’ dretful pressin’ 
and important to tell it, and mebby it had. 
Who knows the language of the liquid waves 
as they whisper to each other on sunny beaches 
and at the meetin’ of placid waters, makin’ 
love to each other like as not — one tellin’ the 
other of the sweet cow-slip and ferny medders 
it had to leave at the loud call of its love, the 
River. The River murmuring back deep words 
of worship and gratitude at the feet of its newly 
arrived love. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 37 

And then mebby the cornin’ rivulet complains, 
moanin’ kinder low and sorrowful, as it swashes 
up on sharp stuny beaches, for what it left 
behind. Meadows and orchards full of May’s 
rosy blossoms, low grassy shores fringed with 
flowers and fresh, shinin’ grasses. And white, 
dimpled baby feet mebby that waded out in its 
cool shallows. Pretty faces that bent over its 
sheltered pools, as in a lookin’ glass, wavin’ 
locks that scattered gold light down into the 
water, bright eyes that shone like stars above it. 
I shouldn’t wonder a mite if it missed ’em and 
tried to say so in its gentle, pensive swish, 1 
swash, swish. 

And then mebby the River resented it and 
kinder roared at it; mebby that is what it is 
sayin’ in its louder and more voylent tones, 
upbraidin’ it for lookin’ back to its more single 
and lonesome career, when it now has Him! 
Him! Rush! Roar! Crush! Roar! Roar! 

We can’t tell what the river is talkin’ about, 
in its calm gentle moods or its voylent ones. 
Who knows what the loud angry scream and 
screech of the deep waves say as the tempest 
and storm presses down on ’em and the Deep 
answers back in a voice of thunder, with its 
great heart beatin’ and heavin’ up and throbbin’ 


38 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

in its mad pain and frenzy ? Who knows what it 
is roarin’ out, as it meets opposin’ forces, wave 
and rock, and dashes aginst ’em — fightin’ and 
dashin’ and tryin’ to vanquish ’em like as not? 
Who can translate the voice of the waters? I 
can’t, nor Josiah, nor nobody. 



CHAPTER THREE 

We seek Quiet and Happiness 
in their beautiful hants ana 
mingle with the pleasure seekers 
of Alexandria Bay 








CHAPTER THREE 


WE SEEK QUIET AND HAPPINESS IN THEIR 
BEAUTIFUL HANTS AND MINGLE WITH 
THE PLEASURE SEEKERS OF ALEXAN- 
DRIA BAY 

OMETIMES we would sail through the 



green water, so dost to the shore we 


could almost pick off some of the cedar 
and pine boughs as we went past, and we could 
look off into the green and sunny aisles of the 
trees into beautiful solitude and quiet. And 
we’d want to foller Quiet and Happiness back 
into them beautiful hants. And then agin, 
we’d float by an island where there would be 
lots of white tents, with wimmen and children 
and men and boys standin’ out wavin’ their 
handkerchiefs and shoutin’ to us, good natered 
and sociable. 

And agin we’d go by a kinder high island with 
a tall, noble mansion standin’ up on it with 
towers and balconies, and winders all orna- 
mented off, and flags a-flyin’. And every house 
and every tentin’ ground had their own little 


SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


wharfs runnin’ down into the water and boats 
hitched to ’em, jest as we’d hitch the old mair 
and colt to a hitchin’ post. And most of ’em 
had picturesque boat-houses painted up like 
the houses. 

And all of these pretty houses and towers and 
flags and boats and everything wuz reflected 
down into the water, so there wuz handsome 
pictures above, and still more extremely beau- 
tiful ones below. For the sunlight shadow 
pictures wuz more beautiful fur than the reality, 
as is often the case. Every little sail-boat and 
canoe had its white shadder floatin’ along by it, 
shinin’ out from the blue and sea-green surface 
of the water. 

Josiah wuz turrible interested in try in’ to 
see if the reflections wuz exactly like the real 
seen up above, and he kept leanin’ over the 
edge of the boat tryin’ to turn his head upside 
down so’s to git a better look, and at last he 
nearly fell over-board into the water only I 
grabbed him quick. 

Sometimes, — I don’t know what made it, 
— there would be long lines of light in dif- 
ferent colors layin’ on the water; long waveless 
furrows of palest amethyst, block, pale rose- 
color, and pearl, soft green and blue, way off 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 43 

and near to, wide and long and changin' all the 
time. Why, some of the time it would seem 
as if the surface of the river wuz a shinin' pave- 
ment made of them glowin' and lustrous colors, 
that you might walk out on. And then agin, 
cold Reality would say to you that if you tried 
it, you'd most probable git drownded. 

Anon we went by a island with a house 
standin’ on it, the hull thing seemin'ly nothin' 
but house right in the strongest current of the 
river, and on the end of the island wuz a wheel 
fixed that run all the machinery of the house, 
lightin’ it, and pumpin' water, and runnin' the 
coffee mill and sewin' machine, and rockin' the 
cradle, for all I know. 

The river waitin' on 'em, and doin’ it cheer- 
ful. A soarin' soul of power and might, so 
strong that a wink from its old eye-lids could 
swallow up a fleet of ships, and a flirt of its 
fingers overthrow a army of strongest men and 
toss 'em about like leaves on an autumn gale 
To see such a powerful, noble body, that wuz 
used to doin’ the biggest kind of jobs, quietly 
bucklin’ down pumpin’ water to supply a tea- 
kettle, and churn a little butter, mebby! 

Why, thinks I, what a lesson to hired girls 
that is, they’re always so fraid of doin' a little 


44 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

more than it is their place to do. They’re so 
fraid of settin’ back a chair, if it is their place to 
cook, and so afraid of bilin’ a egg if it is their 
place to slick up the house. Why, it wuz a 
lesson in morals to see that big grand river 
crumplin’ down to do housework for a spell. 

Frontenac Island used to be called Round 
Island, I guess because it wuz kinder square in 
shape. It is a handsome place with a immense 
hotel* settin’ back most a quarter of a mild, and 
jined by a long railed balcony with another, 
makin’ room enough, it seemed to me, for an 
army. The broad, handsome path leadin’ up 
to it wuz bordered with beautiful flowers and 
shrubs, lookin’ lovely against the vivid green 
of the lawn. 

I liked the name Frontenac first rate, and 
Point Vivian, and the name of the hotel on St. 
Lawrence Park, Lotus, seemed highly appro- 
priate for the idle hours of rest and pleasure in 
the balmy summer-time. 

And that park, while it could pass itself off 
for an island, wuz really the main land. And 
if you wanted a doctor on a dark, stormy night, 
you could get one without going on the wild 

* The great hotel which Samantha here describes was destroyed 
by fire in August last. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 45 

waves; and if you got skairt in the night and 
sot off to run, you could run as fur as you wanted 
to without gittin’ drownded. 

I spoke to Josiah about this and he agreed 
with me, though he took the occasion to bring 
in Coney Island, much to my shagrin. 

“I wish,” sez he, “I wish we could stop off 
somewheres and git a hot dog.” 

“A hot dog?” sez I, consternation showin’ in 
my foretop. “Don’t you know that dogs 
roamin’ round loose and overhet in this sultry 
weather is apt to git mad and bite you?” 

“’Tain’t that kind of animile I mean. I 
mean the kind they eat — in Coney Island.” 

“Do they eat dogs in Coney Island?” I asks 
in a faint voice. 

“Yes,” sez he. 

“And would you eat enny on’t?” 

“Why not?” sez he. 

“Why not?” I cries regainin’ my voice 
to once. “Josiah Allen, have you became 
a canibal like them as lives in heathen 
lands and welcomes civilized folks with open 
mouths?” 

“Oh,” sez he, “’tain’t nothin’ like that. 
These dogs hain’t made o’ people. No, they 
air made from sassiges and cooked in front of 


46 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

a open grate fire. They call ’em hot dogs and 
Serenus sez — ” 

I didn’t gin him no chance to tell what 
Serenus sez. I sez many things to him there 
and then that wuz calculated to make him for- 
git Coney Island for awhile. 

But to resoom forwards. We went by a big 
castle that wuz built up on a hill on a island 
of considerable size with quite a grove of trees 
on it. It wuz a noble, gray stun castle, with 
high towers and pinnacles shinin’ up toward 
the blue sky — Castle Rest, its name wuz, and 
I thought most probable anybody could rest 
there first rate. The one that built it and the 
one it wuz built for, had gone up into another 
castle to rest, the great Castle of Rest, whose 
walls can’t be moved by any earthly shock. A 
good little mother it wuz built for, a hard- 
working patient, tired-out little mother, who 
wuz left with a house full of boys, and not much 
in the house, only boys. How she worked and 
toiled to keep ’em comfortable and git ’em 
headed right, washin’, cookin’, makin’, and 
mendin’ ; learnin’ ’em truthfulness, honesty, 
and industry with their letters; teachin’ ’em 
the multiplication table and the command- 
ments; trimmin’ off their childish faults, same 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 47 

as she did their hair; clippiiT ’em off with her 
own anxious lovin’ hands. Mebby puttin’ a 
bowl on their heads and cuttin’ round it, or else 
shinglin’ ’em. But ’tennyrate doin’ her best 
for them, soul and body, till she got ’em headed 
right. Some on ’em givin’ their hull lives to 
help men’s souls, lovin’ this old world mebby 
for their ma’s sake, because it held so many other 
good wimmen; for they jest about worshipped 
her all on ’em. And one of her boys, while the 
rest of ’em wuz helpin’ men and wimmen to 
build up better lives, he wuz buildin’ up his 
creed of helpfulness and improvement in bricks 
and mortar, tryin’ to do good, there hain’t a 
doubt on’t. 

Mebby them walls didn’t stand so firm as the 
others did, and tottled more now and then. 
Strange, hain’t it, that solid bricks and stuns, 
that you feel and see, are less endurin’ and firm 
than the things you can’t see — changed lives, 
faith, hope, charity, love to God, good-will to 
man, and that whiter ideals and loftier aims 
and desires may tower up higher than any 
chimbly that ever belched out smoke. 

Curious it is so, but so it is. But ’tennyrate 
this one son rode on his sleepin’ cars right into 
millions, and his first thought wuz how he could 


48 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

please best the little Mother. So he built a 
castle for her. Tired little feet, walkin’ the 
round of humble duties, waitin’ on her small 
boys, did they ever expect to tread the walls of 
a castle? Her own too. I’ll bet it seemed 
dretful big to her, or would anyway if it hadn’t 
been so full, so runnin’ over full of the love and 
thoughtfulness of all of her boys — and Love 
will fill and glorify cottage or castle. 

But here she come yearly and gathered her 
strong, stalwart sons about her, welcomin’ them 
with the same old tender smile, and constant 
love, and she, wropt completely round in the 
warm atmosphere of their love and devotion. 
Year after year went happily by till the last 
time came, and she went away out of her high 
castle into a still higher one. But I liked 
Castle Rest, for it seemed a monument riz up 
to faithful, patient mothers fur and near, rich and 
poor, by the hand of filial gratitude and love. 

Comfort Island is real comfortable lookin’, 
and Friendly Island looked friendly and neigh- 
borly. And Nobby Island looked grand and 
stately instead of nobby, the great house settin’ 
up there on a high rock with big green lawns 
and windin’ paths under the shade trees, and 
the bright faced posies on its tall banks peekin* 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 49 



“I liked, Castle Rest. It seemed a monument riz up to 
faithful, patient mothers by the hand of filial gratitude 
and lover {See P a & 


50 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

over to see their faces in the deep water below, 
and mebby lookin’ for the kind master who had 
gone away to stay. 

And pretty soon our boat sorter turned 
round and backed up graceful into Alexandria 
Bay, and we hitched it there and lay off agin the 
harbor real neighborly. There wuz two hotels 
there in plain sight, each one on ’em as long 
as from our house to Miss Derias Bobbettses, 
all fixed off with piazzas and porticos and pillows 
and awnin’s and handsome colors from the 
basement clear up — up — up to the ruff, and 
the grounds laid out perfectly beautiful. Grass 
plats and terraces and long flights of stairs, and 
glowin’ flower beds and summer houses and long 
smooth walks and short ones, and everything. 
And folks all the time santerin’ up and down the 
terraces and walks, and up and down the piazzas 
and balconies. 

It beat all what a lot of steam yots and sail- 
boats there wuz all round us. It seemed as if 
every island had a boat of its own and had sent 
’em all to Alexandria Bay that mornin’. I 
thought mebby they’d hearn we wuz cornin’, 
and they wuz there to git a glimpse of us. But 
Whitfield said the boats come to git the mail, 
and mebby it wuz so. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 51 

Every yot wuz tootin’ on its own separate 
engine; it made the seen lively but not melo- 
gious. One of the boats had a whistle that 
sounded as if you’d begin to holler down real 
low and then let your voice rise gradual till 
you yelled out jest as loud as you could, and 
then died down your yell agin real low. 

It sounded curous. I hearn it wuz tryin’ to 
raise and fall the eight notes, and it riz and fell 
’em I should judge. 

Some of the yots had a loud shrill whistle, 
some a little, fine clear one; then one would 
belch out low and deep some like thunder. And 
anon our steamer thundered forth its own deep 
belchin’ whistle, and turned round graceful and 
backed off, and puffed, puffed back agin down 
the bay. 

As we turned round, a bystander, standin’ 
by, spoke of Bonnie Castle. It stood up sort 
o’ by itself on a rock one side of Alexandria Bay. 
And I wondered if Holland’s earnest soul that 
had thought so much on’t once, ever looked 
down on it now. For instance when the full 
moon wuz high in the cloudless sky, and Bonnie 
Castle riz up fair as a dream, with blue clear 
sky above, and silence, and deep blue shinin’ 
water below — and silence. And mebby some 


52 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

night bird singin' out of the pretty green garden 
to its mate in the cool shadows. I wondered 
if the lovin' soul who created it ever looked 
down from the blessed life, with love and longin' 
to the old earth-nest — home of his heart. I 
spozed that he did, but couldn’t tell for certain. 
For the connection has never been made fast 
and plain on the Star Route to Heaven. Love 
rears its stations here and tries to take the 
bearin's, but we hain’t quite got the wires to 
jine. Sometimes we feel a faint jarrin' and 
thrill as if there wuz hands workin' on the other 
end of the line. We feel the thrill, we see the 
glow of the signal lights they hold up, but we 
can't quite ketch the words. We strain our 
ears through the darkness — listening! listening! 

Right acrost from Alexandria Bay is Heart 
Island; you'd know it at night if you couldn’t 
see the island, for a big heart of flashin' electric 
lights is lifted up on a high pole, that can be 
seen fur and near. As well as the big shinin’ 
cross of light that is lifted up every night on 
another island nigh by in memory of a sweet 
soul that used to live there, and is lookin’ down 
on it now, more’n as likely as not. 

Heart Island is owned by a rich New York 
man. It is almost covered with buildin's of 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 53 

different sizes and ruined castles (the ruins all 
new, you know; ruined a-purpose), the buildin’s 
made of the gray stun the island is composed of. 
And there are gorgeous flower beds and lawns 
green as emerald, and windin’ walks lined with 
statuary, and rare vases runnin’ over with 
blossoms and foliage, and a long, cool harbor, 
fenced in with posies where white swans sail, 
archin’ up their proud necks as if lookin’ down 
on common ducks and geese. There wuz ancient 
stun architecture, and modern wood rustic 
work, and I sez to Josiah, “They believe in not 
slightin’ any of the centuries; they’ve got some 
of most every kind of architecture from Queen 
Mary down to Taft.” 

And he sez, “It is a crackin’ good plan too; 
amongst all on ’em they’re sure to git some of 
the best.” 

“Yes,” sez I, “and it shows a good-hearted 
sperit too, not wantin’ to slight anybody.” 

Jest then I heard a bystander say, “Amongst 
all the places to the Islands, this place and 
Browney’s take the cake.” 

Brownings is another beautiful place just 
round the corner where the flower-garlanded 
rocks looks down into the deep clear waters 
anxious to see their own beauty. And a hand- 


54 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

some residence a little back and a big farm full 
of everything desirable. 

Only a little way acrost from Alexandria Bay 
is Westminster Park, a handsome little village, 
with a big hotel set back under its green trees 
and lots of cottages round it. A nice meetin’ 
house too, and everything else for its comfort. 
And all the way to the Methodist place we wuz 
bound for, fair islands riz up out of the water, 
crowned with trees and houses and tents and 
everything. No sooner would you go by one, 
than another would hove in sight. Anon we 
come in sight of a little village of houses fringin’ 
the shore, called Fair View, and our next stoppin’ 
place wuz the Camp ground. I’d hearn, time 
and agin, they wuz so strict there you’d have to 
pay for every step you took from the ship to 
your boarding place. And if you said any- 
thing, you would have to pay so much a 
word; or if you sithed, you’d have to pay so 
much a sithe, or breathe deep you would have to 
pay accordin’ to the deepness of your breath. 

But it wuzn’t no such thing; we never paid 
a cent, and I sithed deep and frequent on the 
way up from the wharf, for weariness lay holt 
of me and also little Delight. She preferred 
hangin’ onto me ruther than her parents. And 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 55 

Pd hearn that you’d be fined for laughin’, and 
for a snicker or giggle; but I heard several 
snickers (Whitfield is full of fun, and young 
folks will be young folks, and talk and laugh) 
and not one cent did we see asked for ’em. 
Why, I’d hearn that they wouldn’t let a good 
smart whiff of wind land there on Sunday. 
The trustees kep’ ’em off and preached at ’em, 
and made ’em blow off Clayton way. 

And I wuz told that the Sea Serpent (you 
know he always duz like summer resorts), took 
it into his head to go to the Islands one summer 
and happened to git to the Thousand Island 
Park on Sunday, and wuz swoshin’ round in 
the water in front of the dock, kinder switchin’ 
his tail and actin’. And the trustees got wind 
on’t and went down with rails and tracts and 
they railed at him, and exhorted him and made 
him fairly ashamed of bein’ round on Sunday. 
And wantin’ to do a clean job with him, bein’ 
dretful mad at his bein’ out on the Sabbath day, 
they got a copy of their laws and restrictions 
governin’ the Park, and they said when the 
serpent hearn that long document read over, 
he jest switched his tail, kinder disgusted like, 
and turned right round in the water and headed 
off for Kingston. 


56 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

But I don’t believe a word on it. I don’t 
believe much in the sea serpent anyway, and I 
don’t believe it ever come nigh the Thousand 
Island Park grounds — only the usual old ser- 
pent of Evil, that the good Christians there 
fight agin all they can. 


CHAPTER FOUR 


We enjoy the hospitalities of 
Whitfield' s aunf s boardin' - 
house at the Park , and my 
pardner goes a-fishin 9 









CHAPTER FOUR 

WE ENJOY THE HOSPITALITIES OF WHIT- 
FIELD'S AUNT'S BOARDIN'-HOUSE AT THE 
PARK , AND MY PARDNER GOES A-FISHIN' 

HITFIELD’S aunt kep’ a small 



boardin’-house at the Park. Of 
course we knew it would be fur more 


genteel to go to the hotel, which loomed up 
stately, settin’ back on its green lawn right in 
front of us, as the ship swep’ into the harbor. 

But Josiah sez, “The tender ties of relation- 
ship hadn’t ort to, in fact musnt be broke by us, 
and Miss Dagget would probable feel dretful 
hurt if she knowed we wuz to the Park and had 
passed her coldly by.” (She didn’t ask half so 
much for our boards as the hotel did ; that wuz 
where the boot pinched on my pardner’s old 
feet.) 

Whitfield said we had better go to Aunt 
Dagget’s that night anyway, so we went. We 
found she lived in a good-lookin’ cottage, and 
we had everything we needed for comfort. 
She wuz a tall, scrawny woman, with good 


59 


6o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


principles and a black alpacky dress, too tight 
acrost the chest, but she seemed glad to see us 
and got a good supper, broiled steak, creamed 
potatoes, and cake, and such, and we all did 
justice to it — yes indeed. 

After supper we walked out to the post office, 
and round in front of the houses — very sociable 
and nigh together they are. It must be dretful 
easy to neighbor there, most too easy. Why, I 
don’t see how a woman can talk to her husband 
on duty, if he goes in his stockin’ feet, or stays 
out late nights, or acts; I don’t see how she can 
do the subject justice and not have everybody 
in the encampment know it. Too neighborly 
by fur! 

But off some little distance, good-lookin’ 
houses stood with Seclusion and Solitude 
guardin’ their front doors — likely guards them 
be, and beloved by Samantha. And back of the 
Island, glancin’ through the trees, wuz the same 
clear blue sparklin’ waters of the St. Lawrence. 
They said they wuz Canada waters, but I didn’t 
see no difference, the water wuz jest as blue 
and sparklin’ and clear. 

We retired early and our beds wuz quite 
comfortable, though as I told Josiah, I had seen 
bigger pillers, and I wuz more settled in my 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 61 

mind, as to whether the feathers in ’em wuz geese 
or hen. 

He said he wuz glad to lay his head down 
on anything that would hold it up. 

And after I remembered that Miss Dagget’s 
bed wuz jest the other side of the thin board 
partition I sez, “Yes, Josiah, with weariness 
and a easy conscience, any bed will seem soft 
as downy pillows are.” 

The next day I felt pretty mauger and stayed 
in my room most of the time, though Josiah and 
the children sallied round considerable. But 
after supper I felt better and went out and set 
down on the piazza that run along the front 
of the house, and looked round and enjoyed 
myself first rate. 

Way off, between the trees and between the 
houses, I could see the dear old Saint meanderin’ 
along, blue and gold colored where the sun 
struck the shining surface. And, dearer sight 
to me, I could catch a glimpse through the 
interstices of the trees, of my beloved pardner 
and little Delight in her white dress and flut- 
terin’ blue ribbons walkin’ along by his side. 
Whitfield and Tirzah Ann had gone santerin’ 
off some time before. 

The hour and the seen wuz both beautiful 


62 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


and soothin’. The little streets between the 
houses stretched out on every side, some on ’em 
bordered with trees. Gay awnings wuz over 
the doors and winders, flowering shrubs and 
posies set off the yards, and the piazzas orna- 
mented by the good-lookin’ folks settin’ out on 
chairs and benches, the wimmen in light, 
pretty summer gowns, and there wuz babies in 
their perambulators perambulatin’ along and 
pretty children runnin’ and playin’ about. 

Anon or oftener a group of good-lookin’ 
cottagers would sally out of their houses and 
santer along, or a pedestrian in a hurry would 
walk by. It seemed like the land where it is 
always afternoon, that I’d hearn Thomas J. 
read about, 

The island valley of Avilion, 

Where falls not rain or hail or any snow, 

Nor ever wind blows loudly — 

Deep meadowed, happy, fair with orchard lawns 
And bowery hollows, crowned by summer sea. 

It wuz a fair seen! a fair seen! and my soul 
seemed attuned to its perfect harmony and 
peace. When all of a sudden I hearn these 
strange and skairful words cornin’ like a sharp 
shower of hail from a clear June sky: — 

“Malviny is goin’ to freeze to-night!” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 63 

There wuz a skairful axent on the word 
“freeze” that seemed to bring all of Malviny’s 
suffering right in front of me. But so strong is 
my common sense that even in that agitatin' 
time I thought to myself, as I wiped the perspi- 
ration from my foretop, “Good land! what is 
Malviny made of to be even comfortable cool 
to say nothin’ of freezin’.” And my next 
thought wuz, “What sort of a place have I 
got into?” Truly, I had read much of the 
hardenin’ effects of fashion and style, but I little 
thought they would harden so fearful hard. 
None of these men and wimmen settin’ on them 
piazzas had gin any more attention to the blood- 
curdlin’ news that a feller creeter so nigh ’em 
wuz perishin’, no more than if they’d seen a 
summer leaf flutterin’ down from the boughs 
overhead. 

I thought of the rich man and Lazarus, only 
kinder turned round and freezin’ instead of 
burnin’. I felt bad and queer. But anon he 
drew nigh the porch I wuz settin’ on and looked 
up into my face with the same harrowin’ state- 
ment, “Malviny is a-goin’ to freeze to-night!” 

And I said, with goose pimples runnin’ down 
my back most as bad as I mistrusted as Mal- 
viny had, “Who is Malviny?” 


64 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

He stopped and sez, “She is my wife.” 

His indifferent mean madded me and I sez, 
“Well, you good-for-nothin’ snipe you, instead 
of traipsin’ all over the neighborhood tellin’ 
of your wife’s state, why hain’t you to home 
buildin’ a fire and heatin’ soap stuns and bricks, 
and steepin’ pepper tea?” 

“What for?” sez he, amazed like. 

“Why, to keep Malviny from freezin’.” 

“I don’t want to stop it,” sez he. 

Sez I, “Do you want your wife to freeze?” 

“Yes,” sez he. 

Sez I, lookin’ up and apostophrizin’ the clear 
sky that looked down like a big calm blue eye 
overhead, “Are such things goin’ on here in a 
place so good that folks can’t git a letter Sun- 
days to save their lives, or embark to see their 
friends if they’re dyin’ or dead; is such a place,” 
I groaned, “to condone such wickedness!” 

Sez the man, “What harm is there in Mal- 
viny’s freezin’ ?” 

Sez I, “You heartless wretch, you! if I wuz 
a man I’d shake some of the wickedness out 
of you, if I had to be shot up the minute 
afterwards!” 

“What harm is there in freezin’ ice-cream?” 
sez he. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 65 

Sez I, astounded, “Is that what Malviny’s 
freezin’ ?” 

“Yes,” sez he. 

I sunk back weak as a cat. 

Sez he, “I bring it round to the cottages 
every time Malviny freezes; they give me their 
orders if they want any.” 

“Well,” sez I in a faint voice, “I don’t want 
any.” Truly I felt that I had had enough chill 
and shock for one day. 

Well, Whitfield and Tirzah Ann come in pretty 
soon and she wuz all enthused with the place. 
They’d been up the steep windin’ way to Sun- 
rise Mountain, and gazed on the incomparable 
view from there. Looked right down into the 
wind-kissed tops of the lofty trees and all over 
’em onto the broad panaroma of the river, with 
its innumerable islands stretched out like a 
grand picture painted by the one Great Artist. 
They had seen the little artist’s studio, perched 
like a eagle’s nest on top of the mountain. 
Some dretful pretty pictures there, both on the 
inside of the studio and outside. 

And they had stopped at the Indian camp, 
and Tirzah bought some baskets which they 
see the Indians make right before their eyes out 
of the long bright strips of willow. And I spoze, 


66 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


seem 5 the brown deft fingers weavin’ their gay 
patterns, Tirzah Ann wuz carried back some 
distance into the land of romance and Cooper’s 
novels, and “Lo the Poor Indian” Stories. 
She’s very romantick. 

And she’d gone into the place where they 
blow glass right before your eyes and then cut 
your name on it. I couldn’t do it to save 
my life. I might jest as well give right up if 
I wuz told that I had got to blow jest a plain 
bottle out of some sand and stuff. And they 
blow out the loveliest, queerest things you ever 
see: ships in full sail with the ropes and riggin’ 
of the most delicate and twisted strands of 
brilliancy; tall exquisite vases with flowers 
twisted all about ’em. Posies of all kinds, 
butterflies, cups, tumblers, etc. They had been 
into all the little art and bookstores, full of pic- 
tures and needle work, shells, painted stuns, 
books, and the thousand and one souvenirs of 
all kinds of the Thousand Islands. When 
Josiah come in he said he had interviewed ten or 
a dozen men about Coney Island — all on ’em 
had been there — I wuz discouraged, I thought 
I might jest as well let him loose with Serenus. 

Well, Whitfield of course couldn’t wait an- 
other minute, without seein’ Shadow Island, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 67 

so the next day we went over there right after 
dinner. Josiah proposed enthusiastickly to fish 
on the way there. Sez he, “ Samantha, how I do 
wish we could git a periouger to go in. ,, 

“A what?” sez I. 

“A periouger,” sez he, “that we could go 
fishin’ in, a very uneek boat.” 

“Uneek!” sez I, “I should think as much. 
Where did you ever ever hear on’t?” 

“In Gasses Journal, Gass used to go round 
in ’em.” 

Sez I, “That book wuz published before 
George Washington wuz born, or Bunker Hill 
thought on.” 

“What of it?” sez he; “that wouldn’t hender 
a periouger from bein’ a crackin’ good con- 
venience to go round on the water in, and I’m 
goin’ to try to git one to-day. I bet my hat 
they have ’em to Coney Island.” 

I tried to stop him. I didn’t want him to 
demean himself before the oarsmen and on- 
lookers by tryin’ to find boats that hadn’t been 
hearn on in hundreds of years. But I couldn’t 
git the idea out of his head till after dinner. 
Then he wuz more meller and inclined to listen 
to reason. It wuz a oncommon good meal, and 
he felt quite softened down in his mean by the 



U J tried to stop him. I didn’t want him to demean him- 
self before the oarsmen tryin * to find boats that hadn’t 
been hearn on in hundreds of years.” ( See page 67) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 69 

time he finished. And Whitfield’s boatman 
he’d engaged come with a good sizeable boat 
and we sot sail for Shadow Island. 

When we got there the sun wuz tingin’ the 
tops of the trees with its bright light, but the 
water on the nigh side, where we landed, wuz 
cool and green and shadowy. Dretful fresh 
and restful and comfortable that hot muggy day. 

We disembarked on the clean little wharf 
and walked up to the lot Whitfield had bought. 
It wuz a pretty place in a kind of a holler 
between high rocks, but with a full and fair 
view of the river on the nigh side, on the off 
side and on the back the tall trees riz up. The 
site of the house mebby bein’ so low down wuz 
the reason that there wuz good deep earth 
there. Tirzah Ann spoke of that most the 
first thing: — 

“I can have a good suller, can’t I ?” 

Whitfield spoke first of the view from the 
river, and little Delight sez, “Oh what soft 
pretty grass.” 

Josiah looked round for a minute on the 
entrancin’ beauty of the water and the islands 
and up into the green shadders of the trees 
overhead, and then off into the soft blue haze 
that wropped the beautiful shores in the dis- 


7 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

tance. After gazin’ silently for a minute he 
turned to me and sez, “Didn’t you bring any 
nut cakes with you ? I’d like one to eat whilst 
I think of another Island far more beautiful 
than this, where I yearn to be.” 

I groaned in spirit but handed him the desired 
refreshment, and then we talked over the sub- 
ject of the cottage. Whitfield thought it would 
be splendid for the health of Tirzah Ann and 
the children, to say nothin’ of their happiness. 
She and Delight both looked kinder pimping 
and he sez, “Mother, I’ve got the lot, and now 
I am going to lay up money just as fast as I can 
for our house; I hope we can live here in a year 
or two anyway.” 

Well, we stayed here for quite a spell, Whit- 
field and Tirzah Ann buildin’ castles higher 
than Castle Rest, on the foundations of their 
rosy future, underlaid with youth and glowin’ 
hope — the best-lookin’ underpinnin’ you can 
find anywhere. And little Delight rolled on 
the green moss and built her rosy castles in the 
illumined present, as children do. And I looked 
off onto the fur blue waters some as if I wuz 
lookin’ into the past. And furder off than I 
could see the water, the meller blue haze lay 
that seemed to unite earth and heaven, and I 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 71 

looked on it, and way off, way off, and thought 
of a good many things. 

Josiah wuz tryin’ to ketch a fish for supper; 
the boatman had a pole and fish hook, but he 
couldn’t ketch any, he hadn’t any nack; it takes 
nack to ketch fish as well as worms. 









CHAPTER FIVE 

Josiati s imagination about his 
fishiri* exploits carries him to 
a pint ‘cohere I have to re- 
buke him , which makes him 
dretful huffy 













CHAPTER FIVE 


JOSIAH’S IMAGINATION ABOUT HIS FI SHIN' 
EXPLOITS CARRIES HIM TO A PINT 
WHERE I HAVE TO REBUKE HIM , WHICH 
MAKES HIM DRETFUL HUFFY 

T HE next morning we went over to 
Alexandria Bay. on a tower. We 
walked up to the immense hotels past 
the gay flower beds that seemed to be growing 
right out of the massive gray boulders, and great 
wilier trees wuz droppin’ their delicate green 
branches where gayly dressed ladies and good- 
lookin’ men wuz settin’. And in front wuz 
fleets of little boats surroundin’ the big white 
steamboats, jest as contented as big white 
geese surrounded by a drove of little goslins. 

I’d hearn that the great hotel that wuz 
nighest to us looked by night jest like one of 
the fairy palaces we read about in Arabian 
Nights, and one night we see it. From the 
ground clear up to the high ruff it wuz all 
ablaze with lines of flashin’ light, and I sez 
instinctively to myself, “ Jerusalem the golden!” 
75 


76 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and “Pan American Electric Tower !” And 
I d’no which metafor satisfied me best. ’Tenny- 
rate this had the deep broad river flowin' 
on in front, reflectin’ every glowin’ light and 
buildin’ another gleamin’ castle down there 
more beautiful than the one on land. Josiah’s 
only remark wuz “Coney Island!” Everything 
seems to make him think on’t, from a tooth 
pick to a tower. Ten thousand electric lights 
wuz the number that lit up that one house, 
so I hearn. 

The big engine and chimney they use to 
turn the water into glorious light, towers up 
behind the hotel, and made such a noise and 
shook the buildin’ so that folks couldn’t stand 
it, and they jest collared that noise as Josiah 
would take a dog he couldn’t stop barkin’ by 
the scruff of the neck and lock it up in the 
stable, jest so they took that noise and rumblin’ 
and snaked it way offen into the river in a pipe 
or sunthin’, so it keeps jest as still now up there 
as if it wuzn’t doin’ a mite of work. Queer, 
hain’t it? But to resoom. 

It wuz indeed a fair seen to turn round when 
you wuz about half way up the flower strewn 
declivity and look afar off over the wharf with 
its gay crowd, over the boats gaily ridin’ at 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 77 

anchor, and behold the fairy islands risin’ 
from the blue waves crested with castles, 
and mansions and cottage ruffs, chimblys and 
towers all set in the green of the surroundin’ 
trees. 

And, off fur as the eye could see, way through 
between and around, wuz other beautiful 
islands and trees covered with spires and ruffs 
peepin’ out of the green. And way off, way 
off like white specks growin’ bigger every minute, 
wuz great ships floatin’ in, and nearer still 
would be anon or oftener majestic ships and 
steamers ploughin’ along through the blue 
waves, sailin’ on and goin’ right by and mindin’ 
their own bizness. 

Well, when at- last we did tear ourselves 
away from the environin’ seen and walk acrost 
the broad piazzas and into the two immense 
hotels, as we looked around on the beauty of 
our surroundin’s, nothin’ but the inward sense 
of religious duty seemed strong enough to draw 
us back to Thousand Island Park, though that 
is good-lookin’ too. 

But the old meetin’ house with its resistless 
cords, and the cast-iron devotion of a pardner 
wound their strong links round me and I wuz 
more than willin’ to go back at night. Josiah 


78 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

didn’t come with us, he’d gone fishin’ with 
another deacon he’d discovered at the Park. 

Well, we santered through the bizness and 
residence streets and went into the free library, 
a quaint pretty building full of good books 
with a memorial to Holland meetin’ you the 
first thing, put up there by the hands of Grati- 
tude. And we went into the old stun church, 
which the dead master of Bonnie Castle thought 
so much on and did so much for, and is full of 
memories of him. Whitfield thinks a sight of 
his writings; he sez “they dignify the common- 
place, and make common things seem oncom- 
mon.” Katrina, Arthur Bonniecastle, Miss 
Gilbert, Timothy Titcomb the philosopher, all 
seemed to walk up and down with Whitfield 
there. 

And while there we took a short trip to the 
Lake of the Isles, a lovely place, where instead 
of boats full of gigglin’ girls with parasols, and 
college boys with yells and oars, the water 
lilies float their white perfumed sails, and 
Serenity and Loneliness seem to kinder drift 
the boat onwards, and the fashion-tired be- 
holder loves to hasten there, away from the 
crowd, and rest. 

Every mind can be suited at the Islands, the 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 79 

devotee of fashion can swirl around in its vor- 
tex, and for them who don’t care for it there 
are beautiful quiet places where that vortex 
don’t foam and geyser round, and all crowned 
with the ineffable beauty of the St. Lawrence. 

And we sailed by the Island of Summer Land 
(a good name), where a beloved pastor and his 
children in the meetin’ house settled down so 
long ago that Fashion hadn’t found out how 
beautiful the Thousand Islands wuz. They 
come here for rest and recreation, and built 
their cottages along the undulatin’ shore in 
the shape of a great letter S. It wuz a pretty 
spot. 

When the boat wuz ready to go back at 
night I wuz, and wuz conveyed in safety at 
about six p.m. to the bosom of my family. I 
say this poetically, for the bosom wuzn’t there 
when I got back; it hadn’t come in from fishin’ 
yet, and when it did come it wuz cross and 
fraxious, for the other deacon had caught two 
fish and he hadn’t any. He said he felt sick, 
and believed he wuz threatened with numony, 
but he wuzn’t; it wuz only madness and cross- 
ness, that kinder stuffs anybody up some like 
tizik. 

Well, Whitfield found a letter that made it 


8o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


necessary for him to return to Jonesville to once, 
and of course Tirzah Ann, like the fond wife and 
mother she wuz, would take little Delight and 
go with him. But after talkin’ to Josiah, Whit- 
field concluded they w '>uld stay over one day 
more to go fishin\ So the very next mornin’ 
he got a big roomy boat, and we sot out to troll 
for fish. The way they do this is to hitch a 
line on behind the boat and let it drag through 
the water and catch what comes to it And 
as our boat swep’ on over the glassy surface 
of the water that lay shinin’ so smooth and 
level, not hintin’ of the rocks and depths below, 
I methought, “Here we be all on us, men and 
wimmen, fishin’ on the broad sea of life, and 
who knows what will tackle the lines we drop 
down into the mysterious depths? We sail 
along careless and onthinkin’ over rush and rapid, 
depth and shallow, the line draggin’ along. 
Who knows what we may feel all of a sudden 
on the end of the line? Who knows what we 
may be ketchin’ ontirely onbeknown to us? 
We may be ketchin’ happiness, and we may be 
layin’ holt of sorrow. A bliss may be jerked 
up by us out of the depth; agin a wretchedness 
and a heart-ache may grip holt the end of the 
line. Poor fishers that we be! settin’ in oui' 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 8r 

frail little shallop on deep waters over onknown 
depths, draggin’ a onceasin’ line along after 
us night and day, year in and year out. The 
line is sot sometimes bv ourselves, but a great 
hand seems to be hold, v ours as we fasten on 
the hook, a great protectin’ Power seems to be 
behind us, tellin’ us where to drop the line, for 
we feel sometimes that we can’t help ourselves.” 

I wuz engaged in these deep thoughts as we 
glided onwards. Josiah wuz wrestlin’ with his 
hat brim, he would have acted pert and happy 
if it hadn’t been for that. At my request he 
had bought a straw hat to cover his eyes from 
the sun and preserve his complexion, and so 
fur is that man from megumness that he had 
got one with a brim so broad that it stood out 
around his face like a immense white wing, 
floppin’ up and down with every gust of wind. 
He had seen some fashionable young feller 
wear one like it and he thought it would be 
very becomin’ and stylish to get one for a 
fishin’ excursion, little thinkin’ of the discom- 
fort it would give him. 

“Plague it all!” sez he, as it would flop up 
and down in front of his eyes and blind him, 
“what made me hear to you, goin’ a-fishin’ 
blind as a bat!” 


82 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Sez I, “Why didn’t you buy a megum-sized 
one? Why do you always go to extremes?” 

“To please you!” he hollered out from under 
his blinders. “Jest to please you, mom!” 

Sez I, “Josiah Allen, you know you did it 
for fashion, so why lay it off onto me? But,” 
sez I, “if you’ll keep still I’ll fix it all right.” 

“Keep still!” sez he, “I don’t see any pros- 
pect of my doin’ anything else when I can’t 
see an inch from my nose.” 

“Well,” sez I, “push tl\e brim back and I’ll 
tie it down with my braize veil.” 

“I won’t wear a veil!” sez he stoutly. “No, 
Samantha, no money will make me rig up like 
a female woman right here in a fashionable 
summer resort, before everybody. How would 
a man look with a veil droopin’ down and 
drapin’ his face?” 

“Well,” sez I, “then go your own way.” 

But the next time a gale come from the sou’- 
west he wuz glad to submit to my drapin’ him; 
so I laid the brim back and tied the veil in a big 
bow knot under his chin. Then agin he reviled 
the bow, and said it would make talk. But I 
held firm and told him I wuzn’t goin’ to tear 
my veil tiein’ it in a hard knot. And he soon 
forgot his discomposure in wearin’ braize veils* 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 83 



<f< / won’t wear a veil sez he stoutly . But the next time a 
gale come from the sou’ west I laid the brim back ajid 

tied the veil in a big bow knot under his chin. 

(See page 82) 


84 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

in his happiness at the idee of ketchin’ fish, 
so’s to tell the different deacons on’t when he 
got home. 

Men do love to tell fish stories. Men who 
are truthful on every other pint of the law, 
will, when they measure off with their hands 
how long the fish is that they ketched, stretch 
out that measure more’n considerable. 

Well, as I say, as our boat glided on between 
the green islands, anon in shadder and then 
agin out in sunny stretches of glassy seas, I 
looked off on the glorified distance and thought 
of things even furder away than that. Tirzah 
Ann wuz engaged in tryin’ to keep the sun out 
of her face; she said anxiously she wuz afraid 
she would git a few frecks on her nose in spite 
of all she could do. Whitfield wuz amusin’ 
Delight, and Josiah ever and anon speakin’ of 
Coney Island and askin’ if it wuzn’t time to 
eat our lunch. So the play of life goes on. 

We didn’t ketch much of anything, only I 
ketched considerable of a headache. Tirzah 
Ann ketched quite a number of frecks; she 
complained that she had burnt her nose. 
Delight did, I guess, ketch quite an amount 
of happiness, for the experience wuz new to 
her, and children can’t bag any better or more 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 85 

agreeable game than Novelty. And Whitfield 
did seem to ketch considerable enjoyment; he 
loves to be out on the water. 

My pardner drew up one tiny, tiny fish out 
of the depths; it looked lonesome and exceed- 
ingly fragile, but oh how that man brooded 
over that triumph ! And by the time we reached 
Jonesville and he related that experience to 
the awe-struck neighbors it wuz a thrillin’ and 
excitin’ seen he depictered, and that tiny fish- 
let had growed, in the fertile sile of his warm 
imagination, to such a length, that I told him 
in confidence out to one side, that if I ever 
hearn him go on so agin about it, and if that 
fish kep’ a growin’ to that alarmin’ extent, I 
should have to tell its exact length; it wuz jest 
as long as my middle finger, for I measured it 
on the boat, foreseein’ trouble with him in this 
direction. 

It made him dretful huffy, and he sez, “I 
can’t help it if you do have a hand like a 
gorilla’s.” 

It hain’t so; I never wore higher than num- 
ber 7. But I have never seen him since pull 
out his hands so recklessly measurin’ off the 
dimensions of that fish, or gin hints that it 
took two men to carry it up from the boat to 


86 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

the hotel, and insinuate on how many wuz 
nourished on it, and for how long a time. 

No, I broke it up. But Josiah Allen hain’t 
the only man that stretches out the fish they 
have ketched, as if they wuz made of the best 
kind of Injy rubber. It seems nateral to men’s 
nater to tell fibs about fish. Curious, hain’t 
it? That is one of the curious things that lay 
holt of our lines. And wimmen have to see 
squirmin’ at their feet anon or oftener, game 
that flops and wriggles and won’t lay still and 
grows all the time. 




CHAPTER SIX 

In which I draw the matrimonial 
line round my pardner and 
also keep my eye on Mr. 
Pomper 



CHAPTER SIX 


IN WHICH I DRAW THE MATRIMONIAL LINE 
ROUND MY PARDNER AND ALSO KEEP 
MY EYE ON MR. POMPER 

T HE next mornin' Whitfield and Tirzah 
went home, Josiah and I thinkin’ we 
would stay a few days longer. And 
what should I git but a letter from Cousin 
Faithful Smith sayin' that her Aunt Petrie 
beyond Kingston wuz enjoyin' poor health, and 
felt that she must have Faith come and visit 
her before she went West. So she wuz goin' 
to cut short her visit to the Smithses and go to 
her Aunt Petrie's on her way to the West, and 
as she had heard Josiah and I wuz to the 
Islands, she would stop and stay a few days 
with us there. And as the letter had been 
delayed, she wuz to be there that very day 
on the afternoon boat. So of course Josiah 
and I met her at Clayton. And I went to the 
boardin'-house keeper to see if I could git her 
a room. 


89 


9 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

But she wuz full, Miss Dagget wuz; and when 
anybody is full there is no more to be said; so 
with many groanin’s from my pardner, on 
account of the higher price, we concluded we 
would git rooms at the hotel, that big roomy 
place, with broad piazzas runnin’ round it 
and high ruffs. And as Josiah said bitterly, 
the ruffs wuzn’t any higher than the prices. 
And I told him the prices wuzn’t none too high 
for what we got, and I sez, “ We are gittin’ along 
in years and don’t often rush into such high 
expenses, so we’ll make the venter.” 

And he groaned out, “Good reason why we 
don’t make the venter often, unless we want 
to go on the Town!” 

And then he kinder brightened up and won- 
dered if he couldn’t make a dicker with the 
hotel-keeper to take a yearlin’ steer to pay 
for our two boards. 

And I sez, “What duz he want of a yearlin’ 
steer here in the midst of a genteel fashion 
resort?” 

And he snapped me up and said he didn’t 
know as there wuz anything onfashionable or 
ongenteel about a likely yearlin’. Sez he, “I’ll 
bet they’d take it at Coney Island.” 

“Well, what would he do with it here?” sez I. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 91 

“Why, do as I do with it; let it grow up and 
make clear gain on its growth.” 

“Oh shaw!” sez I, “he couldn’t have it bel- 
lerin’ round amongst the gay and fashionable 
throng.” 

“It wouldn’t beller,” sez he, “if he fed it 
enough.” 

I broke it up after a long talk, for I wouldn’t 
let him demean himself by askin’ the question 
and bein’ refused, and then he said he wuz goin’ 
to ask him if he would take white beans for his 
pay, or part of it, or mebby, sez he, “he would 
like to take a few geese.” 

“Geese!” sez I, “what would they want with 
geese squawkin’ round here?” 

“Why,” sez he, “you know they would look 
handsome swimmin’ round in the water in front 
of the hotel. And he might gin out, if he wuz 
a mind to, that they wuz a new kind of swans; 
they do such things at Coney Island.” 

Sez I, “Are you a deacon or are you not? 
Are you a pillow in the meetin’ house or hain’t 
you a pillow?” 

“I didn’t say he had got to do thus and so, 
I said he might if he wanted to.” 

Sez I, “You keep your geese and pray to not 
be led into temptation.” And then the truth 


92 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

come out, he hated the geese and wanted to 
git rid of ’em. Men always hate to keep geese, 
it is one of their ways, though they love soft 
pillows and cushions as well as wimmen do, or 
better, it is one of their curious ways to love 
the effects of geese dearly and hate the cause 
and demean it. 

Well, by givin’ up the best part of the fore- 
noon to the job I ground him down onto not 
tryin’ to dicker with any barter, but to walk 
up like a man and pay for our two boards. 
Faith is real well off and kinder independent 
sperited, and I knew she wouldn’t let us pay 
for hern, and at last we got a good comfortable 
room for ourselves and one for Faith, not fur 
from ourn. Both on ’em looked out onto the 
beautiful river, and I had lots of emotions as 
I looked out on it, although they didn’t rise 
up so fur as they would, if I hadn’t had such a 
tussel with my pardner, so true it is that chains 
of cumberin’ cares and Josiahs drag down the 
aspirin’ soul-wings for the time bein’. But I 
laid out to take sights of comfort in more tran- 
quil and less dickerin’ times, in lookin’ out on 
the beauty and glory of the waters, and fur off, 
into the beautiful distance lit with the mornin’s 
rosy light, and “ sunset and evenin’ star.” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 93 

We sot off on the afternoon boat for Clayton, 
Faith seemed real glad to see us and we visey 
versey. And it wuz a joy to me to see her 
admiration of the Islands as we swep’ by ’em 
and round ’em on our way to the Park. 

We got back in time to git ready for supper 
in pretty good sperits; the dinin’ f room wuz 
large and clean and pleasant, the waiters doin’ 
all they could for us, and we had a good supper 
and enough on’t. And speakin’ of the waiters, 
most of ’em wuz nice boys and girls, tryin’ to 
git an education; some on ’em had been to 
college and wanted to earn a little more money 
to finish their education, and some wuz learnin’ 
music and wanted more money to go on with 
their lessons — good plan, I think — they will 
be as likely agin to succeed as if they wuz sot 
down and waited on. It is a good thing, as the 
Bible sez, “to bear the yoke in your youth,” 
and though I spoze the yoke weighed down con- 
siderable heavy on ’em, specially on excursion 
days, and when there wuz folks hard to please, 
yet I thought they will come out all right in 
the end. 

Some on ’em wuz studyin’ for the ministry, 
and I thought they would git a real lot of pa- 
tience and other Christian virtues laid up agin 


94 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

the time of need. Though here, as in every 
other walk of life, there wuz some that wuz 
careless and slack. 

But to resoom forwards. I see at the table 
there wuz the usual summer tourists round 
me, care-worn fathers and weary dyspeptic 
mothers with two or three flighty, over-dressed 
daughters, and a bashful, pale son or two, and 
anon a lady with a waist drawed in to that 
extent that you wondered where her vital 
organs wuz. And how could any live creeter 
brook the agony them long steel cossets wuz 
dealin’ the wearer? You could see this agony 
in the dull eyes, pale face and wan holler cheeks 
wearin’ the hectic flush of red paint. And the 
little pinted shues, with heels sot in the very 
center of the nerves, ready to bring on pros- 
tration, and blindness. 

Right by that agonized female would be a 
real lady. English, mebby, with a waist the size 
the Lord give and Fashion had not taken away. 
With good, sensible shues on, dealin’ out com- 
fort to the amiable feelin’ feet; rosy cheeks, 
bright eyes, all bearin’ witness to the joys of 
sensible dressin’ and sensible livin’. 

And then there wuz bright pert-lookin’ young 
wimmen, travelin’ alone in pairs, and havin’ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 95 

a good time to all human appearance. Anon 
good-lookin’, manly men, with sweet pretty 
wives and a roguish, rosy little child or so. 
Sad lookin’ widder wimmen, some in their 
weeds, but evidently lookin’ through ’em. Anon 
a few single men with good-lookin’ tanned 
faces, enjoyin’ themselves round a table of 
their own, 'and talkin’ and laughin’ more’n 
considerable. Respectable, middle-aged couples, 
takin’ their comfort with kinder pensive faces, 
and once in awhile a young girl as adorably 
sweet and pretty as only American girls can be 
at their best. 

But on my nigh side, only a little ways acrost 
from us sot the ponderous man I remembered 
on my journey thither who wanted to be a fly. 
Furder and furder it seemed from amongst the 
possibles as he towered up sideways and seemed 
to dwarf all the men round him, though they 
wuz sizeable. And gittin’ a better look at him, 
I could see that he had a broad red face, gray 
side whiskers and one eye. That one eye 
seemed to be bright blue, and he seemed to keep 
it on our table from the time we come in as 
long as we sat there. 

That evenin’ in the parlor he got introduced 
to us. Mr. Pomper, his name wuz, and we all 


9 6 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

used him well, though I didn’t like “the cut of 
his jib,” to use a nautical term which I consider 
appropriate at a watering-place. 

But go where we would, that ponderous 
figger seemed to be near. At the table he sot, 
where that one eye shone on us as constant as 
the sun to the green earth. In our walks he 
would always set on the balcony to watch us 
go and welcome us back. And in the parlor 
we had to set under the rakin’ fire of that blue 
luminary. And if we went on the boats he 
wuz there, and if we stayed to home there 
wuz he. 

And at last a dretful conviction rousted up 
in me. It come the day we went the trip round 
the Islands. We enjoyed ourselves real well, 
until I discerned that huge figger settin’ in a 
corner with that one eye watchin’ our party as 
dost as a cat would watch a mouse. Can it be, 
sez I to myself, that that man has formed a 
attachment for me ? 

No, no, it cannot be, sez I to myself. And 
yet I knowed such things did occur in fashion- 
able circles. Men with Mormon hearts hidden 
under Gentile exteriors wuz abroad in the land, 
and such things as I mistrusted blackened and 
mormonized the bosom of Mr. Pomper, did 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 97 

happen anon and oftener. And I methought 
if so, what must I do? Must I tell my beloved 
companion? Or must I, as the poet sez, “Let 
concealment, like a worm in the rug, feed on 
my damaged cheek?” 

But thoughts of the quick, ardent temper 
of my beloved companion bade me relinquish 
the thought of confidin’ in him. No, I dassent, 
for I knew that his weight wuz but small by the 
steelyards, and Mr. Pomper’s size wuz elephan- 
tine, with probably muscles accordin’. No, I 
felt I must rely on myself. But the feelin’s I 
felt nobody can tell. Thinks I, “It has come 
onto me jest what I have always read and 
scorfed at”; for I had always thought and said 
that no self-respectin’ female need be inviggled 
unless she had encouraged the inviggler, or had 
a hand in the invigglin’. But alas! with no 
fault of my own, onless it wuz my oncommon 
good looks, — and of course them I couldn’t 
help, — here I wuz the heroine of a one-eyed 
tragedy, for I felt that the smoulderin’ fire 
burnin’ in that solitary orb might bust forth at 
any time and engulf me and my pardner in a 
common doom. 

But two things I felt I could do; I could put 
on a real lot of dignity, and could keep a eagle 


98 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

watch onto my beloved pardner, and if I see 
any sign of Mr. Pompers attacktin’ him, or 
throwin’ him overboard, I felt the strength of 
three wimmen would be gin to me, and I could 
save him or perish myself in the attempt. In 
accordance with them plans, when Mr. Pomper 
approached us bringin’ us some easier chairs, 
I confronted him with a look that must have 
appauled his guilty mind, and when he sez to 
me: 

“It is a pleasant day, mom,” 

I looked several daggers at him and some 
simiters, and never said a word. And when a 
short time afterwards he asked me what time 
of day it wuz, pretendin’ his watch had stopped, 
I looked full and cold in his face for several 
minutes before I sez in icy axents, “I don’t 
know!” Every word failin’ from my lips like 
ice-suckles from a ruff in a January thaw, and 
then I turned my back and went away from him. 

Vain attempt! What wicked arts men do 
possess! He pretended to believe I wuz deef, 
and with that pretext he dasted to approach 
still nearer to me and kinder hollered out: 

“What time of day is it?” 

I see I must answer him, or make a still more 
sentimental and romantick seen, and I sez. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 99 



What does ail you , Samantha , lockin' arms with me all 
the time — it will make talk!' he whispered in a 
mad , impatient whisper , but I would hang on as long 
as Mr. Pomper wuz around (See page 100) 


100 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


with extreme frigidity and icy chill, “I don’t 
know anything about it.” 

And then I turned on my heel and walked 
off. In such noble and prompt ways did I 
discourage all his overtoors, and every time I 
see him approach my pardner, if they wuz 
anywhere near the outer taff-rail of the boat, 
I would approach and lock arms with Josiah 
Allen, killin’ two birds with one stun, for that 
act both ensured safety to my heart’s idol, 
and also struck a blow onto Mr. Pomperses 
nefarious designs. He see plain that I idolized 
my pardner. Once or twice, so hardly is 
oncommon virtue rewarded in this world, Josiah 
spoke out snappishly: 

“What duz ail you to-day, Samantha, lockin’ 
arms with me all the time — it will make talk!” 
he whispered in a mad, impatient whisper, and 
he would kinder wiggle his arm to make me 
leggo’; but secure in my own cast-iron prin- 
ciples, I would hang on as long as Mr. Pomper 
wuz round. 


CHAPTER SEVEN 


In which Josiah proposes to 
dance and Mr. Pomper makes 
an advance 






kV 


^ r 
- • • 






t 





CHAPTER SEVEN 

IN WHICH JOSIAH PROPOSES TO DANCE AND 
MR. POMPER MAKES AN ADVANCE 



HE day wuz a tegus one to me, borne 


down as I wuz by the constrainin' 


atmosphere of a onwelcome and on- 


lawful attachment. And it took all the prin- 
ciple I had by me to git up even a emotion of 
pity for the one-eyed watcher, whose only 
recreation seemin'ly durin' that long, long day 
wuz to watch our party as dost as any cat ever 
watched a rat hole, and to kinder hang round 
us. Faith kep' pretty dost to me all day and 
seemed to take a good deal of comfort watchin’ 
the entrancin' scenery round us. 

Oh what beautiful sights! What enchantin' 
views of the water; or, if the light struck it jest 
right, the long, blue, undilating plain, dotted 
with gold points of light. Islands with the vir- 
gin forest stretchin' down to the edge of the 
water, and cool green shadders layin' on the 
velvet and mossy sward as you could see as 


io 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

you looked into the green aisles. And all sorts 
of trees with different foliage, some loose and 
feathery, some with shinin’ leaves, glitterin’ 
where the rain had washed ’em the night before; 
some towerin’ up towards the heavens, shakin’ 
their heads at the sun; some droopin’ down as 
if weighted with their wealth of branches and 
green leaves; anon a tree covered with flowers, 
and then some evergreens, and anon one that 
had ketched in its brilliant leaves the red hectic 
of autumn fever and blazed out in crimson and 
yeller. And then a hull lot of evergreens 
standin’ up straight and tall by the water’s 
edge, and as fur back as you could see, but sort 
o’ reachin’ out their green arms towards the 
river. And them on the edge, lookin’ down into 
the clear depths and seein’ there another island, 
a shadow island layin’ beautiful and serene 
with nothin’ disturbin’ its beauty but the 
shinin’ ripples wavin’ the fairy branches below, 
like the soft wind rustlin’ the tree tops overhead. 

So we sailed on by hamlet and town, rounded 
tree-crowned promontores, swep’ out into 
broader vistas stretchin’ out like a lake, anon 
goin’ by a big island lookin’ like the shore of 
the mainland, goin’ right up aginst it seemin’ly, 
as if the boat must strike it and git onto wheels 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 105 

and travel as a wagon if it calculated to pro- 
ceed onwards at all. But jest as we would 
think in a nautical way: “Land ahoy! land 
ahoy! oh, heave out and walk afoot,” jest 
as these nautical terms would be passin' through 
our alarmed foretops, the boat would turn its 
prow slowly but graceful, round to a port-the- 
helm, or starboard ditto, and we would glide 
out through a narrow way onbeknown to us, 
onto a long, glassy road layin' fair and serene 
ahead. 

Then more islands, then more narrer channels, 
then more broad ones. By Fiddler's Elbow, 
named Heaven knows for what purpose, for 
no fiddle nor no elbow wuz in sight, nothin' 
but island and water and rock all crowned with 
green verdure. Mebby it dates back to the 
time we read of when the stars sung together, 
and if stars sing, why shouldn’t islands dance, 
and if islands dance it stands to reason they 
must have a fiddle and one on 'em must fiddle. 
I do not say this is so, but throw out this scien- 
tific theory as one of singular interest to the 
antiquarian and historian of the Thousand 
Islands. 

Anon we entered the Lost Channel, agin the 
antiquarian sperit is rousted up as we inquire. 


10 6 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


“When wuz it lost? and how long? And when 
wuz it found agin, and who found it?” Way 
back in the dawn of creation, did the dimplin’ 
channel git kinder restive and try to run off by 
itself, and flow round and act? Or did the 
big leap down Niagara skair it so that it run 
away and never stopped runnin’ until it got all 
confused and light-headed among these count- 
less islands, and wandered away and got lost 
and by the side of itself? 

Deep antiquarian conundrums ; stern geo- 
logical interests ! In grapplin’ with ’em I leaned 
over the taff-rail of the boat and looked way 
down into the blue green depths, seekin’ a 
answer. But the shinin’ waves on top seemed 
to glitter mockin’ly and fur down, down in the 
green waves, there seemed to look back a sort 
of a pityin’ gleam that said to me: 

“ Poor creeter ! pass on with your little vague 
theories and conjectures; you don’t know any 
more about me than the rest on ’em do, who 
have tried to write about me.” I felt kinder 
took back and queer. So vain are we that we 
don’t like to have our carefully constructed 
theories overthrown. But even as I mused, a 
voice said to the right of me — a woman talkin’ 
to her little boy: 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 107 

“The Lost Channel was named from the fact 
that durin’ a war a large body of troops got lost 
here in the channel in the late autumn and could 
not find their way out, and was overtaken by 
the bitter cold and perished here/’ 

Well, mebby it is so, I d’no. But I wuzn’t 
knowin’ to it myself, nor Josiah wuzn’t. Well, 
onheedin’ our facts or fancies, the river bore us 
onwards on its breast. Past high green boulders 
risin’ up from the water with nothin’ on ’em, 
not even a tree; jest gray rock lookin’ some like 
a geni’s castle frownin’ down onto the intruders 
into their realm. Then anon a pile of high gray 
rocks crowned as the Sammist sez “with livin’ 
green.” Then in a minute more a little land- 
locked bay with placid water sweepin’ back into 
a pretty harbor, tree shaded, and mebby a boat 
anchored there like a soul at rest, or mebby a 
sail-boat with two young hearts in it driftin’ 
down the sea of their content, as the tiny waves 
rippled round their oars. Then a grand big 
mansion lookin’ down onto us kinder super- 
ciliously. Then a small, pretty farm house with 
snug outbuildings, a man lookin’ at us from the 
open barn door, and some children playin’ 
round the doorstep. Then a big island with 
grassy shores or wooded depths; then a tiny 


io8 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


island, not too big for a child’s playhouse, and 
some that wuz only a bit of rock peekin’ out of 
the water. 

And fur off all the time when we could see it 
wuz the blue hazy distance full of beauty; ever- 
changin’ glimpses of loveliness, givin’ place to 
new beauties. Fur off, fur off sometimes we 
could see distant pinnacles and towers, all bathed 
in the blue shinin’ mist. And as the rapt eyes 
of our Fancy gazed on ’em, they might have been 
the towers of the New Jerusalem, the Golden city, 
so dreamlike, so inexpressibly lovely did they 
seem faintly photographed aginst the soft blue 
distant heavens. 

But cold Reality said in her chillin’ practical 
whisper, “It’s nothin’ but Gananoque or Clay- 
ton,” and she went on, “They hain’t anything 
like the New Jerusalem, either of them.” 

Alas for us poor mortals! who drive or are 
driv by the two contendin’ coharts of Imagina- 
tion, Idealized Fancy and practical Reality. 
And she always will have the last word, Reality 
will, and her voice is loud and shrill, and it 
penetrates into the warm, sweet Indian summer 
air, where Fancy dwells and where we some- 
times visit her for brief intervals. Too brief! 
too brief! for cold Reality is always hangin’ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 109 

round; she is always up and dressed ready to 
put in her note. 

I mentioned the metafor to Josiah and he sez, 
“ Yes, it minds me of the man who was brought 
up before the judge by his wife. She complained 
he hadn’t spoke to her for five years. The judge 
ast him if that were so, and he said, ‘Yes, that’s 
so.’ ‘But why,’ sez the judge, ‘why hain’t 
you spoke to your wife for five years ? ’ And the 
man sez, ‘Because I didn’t want to interrupt 
her.’ Josiah declares it is true, but I believe 
it is jest a slur on wimmen. 

But to resoom. Swiftly, silently we sped on 
with the islands about us, the blue sky over- 
head and the shadow islands below. And 
innumerable boats appeared far and near, some 
with white sails lifted, and followed below by 
a white shadow sail, and anon a big steamer 
would glide along, loaded down to its gunwale 
with crowds of gay pleasure seekers, who would 
wave their snowy handkerchiefs and salute us, 
the steamer backin’ ’em with its deep grum 
voice. Or anon we could see a big dark barge 
sailin’ along, and Fancy would whisper to us as 
we gazed on its mysterious dark sides without 
a soul in sight: 

‘‘It may be the phantom of some old Pirate 


no SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

ship, condemned for its sins to cruise along 
forever in strange waters, homesick for its 
native seas.” But Reality spoke right up 
jest as she always will and said it wuz prob- 
able some big lake steamer heavy loaded 
with grain or some great Canadian boat. And 
then a new seen of beauty would drift into 
our vision and take our minds off and carry 
’em away some distance. Oh, it is no won- 
der that Faith’s soft eyes grew more tender and 
luminous. 

Josiah felt the beauty of the seen, he felt 
it deeply, but everybody knows that beauty 
affects folks differently, it always seems to 
sharpen up my dear companion’s appetite, and 
three cookies in as many minutes wuz offered 
up on the shrine of his vivid appreciation, and 
two nut cakes. 

We got back to our hotel, the sun about an 
hour high. Jest before our bark swep’ into the 
haven, and while Josiah and Faith had crossed 
over to the opposite side of our bark, I hearn a 
voice on the off quarter windward, and I turned 
round and see to my dismay that it wuz Mr. 
Pomper. He sez to me in a low voice, while 
his looks spoke volumes of yellow colored 
literatoor: “I wish to speak a few words to 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS m 


you alone, mum. Can you give me the 
opportunity?” 

I looked him full in that eye of hisen, a hauty 
cold look, a look as much as 40 degrees below 
freeze, and said nothin’ else but jest that look. 

“I have somethin’ very important to say to 
you. Can you hear me?” 

Words wuz risin’ to my tongue that would 
wither him forever, and end the vile persecu- 
tions I wuz undergoing when before I could 
speak the gang plank wuz charged back agin 
Mr. Pomper’s foot in a way that made him 
leap back like a sportive elephant, and for the 
moment I wuz free. But as I wended my pen- 
sive way up to the hotel, I made up my mind 
that if he ever approached me agin I would 
plainly tell him what wuz what, and so end my 
purturbations of mind; for I felt if it wuz to 
go on much longer I should lose a pound of 
flesh, and mebby a pound and a half, in the 
stiddy wearin’ persecution I wuz undergoin’. 
And that night at dinner as I ketched the light 
smoulderin’ in that lonely orb, as it wuz bent 
on our table, and the corner in parlor and 
piazza where we wuz ensconced, I wondered 
anew what wuz the attractions that kep’ Mr. 
Pomper so stiddy at my shrine. And I got so 


1 12 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


that I almost hated the good looks that wuz 
ondoin’ him and me too. And I looked into the 
glass dreamily as I wadded up my back hair 
and did up the front, and pinned my cameo pin 
onto my rich cotton and wool parmetty, and 
wondered if it wuzn’t my duty to leave off that 
pin, and change that parmetty for calico, and 
sort o’ frowzle up my hair onbecomingly in 
order to wean him from me. But alas! my 
principles did not seem able to git up onto that 
hite, so weak are we poor mortals after all our 
aspirin’ efforts. 

One curious thing I have ever noticed among 
men (and wimmen too) and that is the ease and 
facility with which they will slip out of state- 
ments and idees they have promulgated, and 
turn around in their tracts as easy and graceful 
as a dummy before a show case. Now there 
wuz a party to be gin to the hotel for a chari- 
table purpose, each man and woman present 
givin’ 25 cents, and then havin’ a social time 
afterwards, and as the object wuz good I sez 
to my pardner, “I would like to attend to it.” 
And he acted fairly skairt and horrow struck 
at the idee and went on eloquent about old folks 
at our ages, and with our professions, and our 
rumatiz, follerin’ up gayety and show. Sez he, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 113 

“The place for us evenin’s is in our own room 
readin’ our Bibles and Tracks.” 

And I sez as I calmly wadded up my back 
hair and smoothed my foretop, “Well, I spoze 
I can go alone if you feel so.” 

Then another thought seemed to roust him 
up; Jealousy seemed to strike her sharp prongs 
into his slender side, and he sez bitterly, “Yes, 
goin’ down alone into a perfect mawlstrom of 
men flirtin’ and actin’!” 

“The mawlstrom won’t hurt me,” sez I, “I 
hain’t goin’ nigh it.” But even as I spoke I 
thought of Mr. Pomper, and sez to myself, Can 
I help him from cornin’ nigh me ? And as if in 
answer to my onspoken thoughts my pardner 
sez: 

“Mawlstroms will draw anybody ia onbe- 
known to them; they’re deadly dangerous!” 
And I see him gin a kin’ of a shiver. I wuz 
touched to the heart by the thought of his devo- 
tion, and as I fastened my cameo pin more 
firmly into the rich folds of parmctty at my 
neck, I sez: 

“Dear Josiah, I don’t know but you’re right. 
I feel as though I want you near me to protect 
me.” That melted his heart, but alas, did not 
affect his pocket book, and he sez, “I would go 


1 1 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

down with you in a minute, Samantha, but jest 
consider on the 50 cents we would spend there, 
how much comfort that would bring to some 
lonely widder, mebby a blind woman, who is 
a-hunger and ye fed her not.” 

I looked stiddy at him and sez I, “Josiah 
Allen, will that poor widder git that fifty 
cents?” 

He answered evasive, and I went on, “It is 
easy to make the excuse that the money you 
are asked for in charity will do so much more 
good somewhere else, but,” sez I sternly, “the 
money don’t git there, and you know it.” He 
still kep’ his hand in his pocket round that 
pocket book I believe, whilst he took a new 
tact: “The air, Samantha, in that room will be 
stiflin’, and if I should take you into that place 
and you should stifle, I should die away myself, 
I couldn’t live a minute without you, dear 
Samantha,” sez he. 

Well, my tizik wuz pretty bad in crowded 
places and suffice it to say, that though his 
arguments didn’t convince me, they sort o’ 
overpowered me for the time bein’, and we 
stayed in our own room. 

Now to show the facility with which folks 
will turn right round and revolve, I will tell 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 115 

how Josiah seemin’ly forgot mawlstroms, bad 
air, rumatiz, ages, meetin’ housen, principles, 
etc., and turned right round on the pivot of his 
inclination. A day or two after he heard down 
in the office about the dancin’ parties they had 
in the parlor anon or oftener, and he come 
up into our room enthused with the idee and 
wanted to branch out and go that night, and 
I sez: 

“What about mawlstroms and gayety, Josiah 
Allen?” 

“Oh,” he sez, “I shall be there to protect 
you, Samantha, no mawlstrom can draw you in 
and destroy you, whilst I have a drop of blood 
left in my veins! I’ll protect you here, and Fd 
protect you at Coney Island,” sez he — (that 
idee never left his mind I believe). 

“What about the bad air?” sez I. 

“Oh the winder will probable be open, and 
you can take your turkey feather fan with you.” 
And then I dropped my half jocular tone and 
sez in deadly earnest: 

“Be I leanin’ on a Methodist pillow or be I 
not ? Have I a deacon by my side or haven’t I ? ” 

But Josiah seemed calm and even gay sperited 
under my two reproachful orbs that poured 
their search lights into his very soul, and he sez : 


ii6 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


“From all I hear it hain’t a wicked dance 
at all, but jest a pretty dancin’ party down in 
the parlor, jined in by men and wimmen and 
their children and mebby their grand-children, 
and it is always so sweet,” sez he, “to see a man 
and his grand-children dancin’ together. Oh, if 
Delight wuz only here!” sez he. 

I riz up and sez in almost heart breakin’ 
axents: 

“Josiah Allen, be you a thinkin’ of dancin’ 
yourself?” 

“No,” sez he, “no, Samantha, I jest want to 
look on a spell, that’s all.” 

But there wuz a look in his eyes that I hated 
to see, for I had seen it many times in the past, 
and it had always foreboded trials to me and 
humiliation to my pardner. How queer human 
critters be! what strange and mysterious tacts 
they will git on and how they will foller up them 
tacts and fads of theirn. But I d’no as human 
critters are any worse about follerin’ up their 
tacts and fads and follerin’ ’em blind, than old 
Mom Nater is. Now who hain’t noticed her 
queer moods and how prolonged they be, and 
how sudden and onexpected they will come 
onto her? When she takes it into her head to 
have a pleasant spell of weather, how she’ll 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 117 

foller it up, clear skies, pleasant days and 
nights for weeks and weeks. And if she takes 
it into her head to have it rain, how she will 
keep the skies drippin’ right along for most 
all summer. And then when she has a dry 
spell, how dry she is! no matter how much the 
dwindlin’ creeks and empty wells and springs 
complain, she has got to carry out her own idees 
till she gits ready to change. 

Josiah Allen, since I had been his pardner 
had took many a fad into his old head, which 
he had carried out as only Nater or a man can 
carry ’em, onreasonable, mysterious, out of 
season, but bound to let ’em run. Sometimes 
in the past it had been a desire for singin’ base 
that had laid holt on him, base in every sense 
the word can be used. Then agin he had pain- 
ful and prolonged spells of wantin’ to be genteel 
and fashionable, then anon political ambition 
had rousted up his rusty old faculties and for 
months and months Coney Island had been his 
theme, and wuz now, and so on through a long 
roll of characters he had desired to play in the 
drama of life. 

But dancin! never did I expect to see that 
man with his age and his profession and his 
achin’ old bones, wantin’ to dance. But so it 


1 1 8 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


wuz, as will be seen in the follerin’ pages. 
Queer as a dog folks are on this planet, and I 
d’no but the Marites and Jupiters and Saturnses 
are jest as queer. But to quit eppisodin’ and 
resoom forwards agin. 

I have always found that it hain’t best to 
draw the matrimonial rope too tight round your 
pardner’s jungular veins. I see he wuz sot on 
goin’ and I felt I would ruther he would go with 
me who could have some savin’ control over 
him, than to have him git reckless and sally off 
alone. So it wuz settled that we should go 
that night at early candle light. And Faith 
wuz to go with us. Yes, I, Josiah Allen’s wife, 
had gin my consent to go to a dance. But jest 
so the environin’ cord of circumstances gits us 
all wound up in its tangles time and agin. 
And as the way of poor weak mortals is, havin’ 
made up my mind to go I tried to bring to mind 
all the mitigatin’ circumstances I could. I 
thought of how the lambs capered on the hill- 
side, how the leaves on the trees danced to the 
music of the south wind, and how even the 
motes swung round with each other in the sun- 
light. And then I thought of how David 
danced before the ark, and how Jeptha’s 
daughter danced out to meet her father (to be 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 119 

sure she had her head took off for it, but I tried 
to not dwell on that side of the subject). And 
then I remembered how I did love music, and 
in spite of myself I felt kinder chirked up thinkin’ 
I should enjoy quite a long spell on’t. And 
thinkses I, if dancin’ is a little mite off from the 
hite Methodists ort to stand on, music is the 
most heavenly thing we can lay holt of below, 
so I sort o’ tried to even up them two peaks in 
my mind and lay a level onto ’em and try 
to make myself believe they struck about a 
fair plane of megumness, and shet my eyes 
to the idee that it slanted off some and wuz 
slippery. 

Oh what weak creeters we be anyhow! Well, 
that night there wuz goin’ to be a extra big 
party, and I wuz for startin’ at once after 
supper, for truly I felt that I wuz performin’ 
a hard and arjous job, and as my way is I wuz 
for tacklin’ it to once and gittin’ over it. Yes, 
I felt it wuz goin’ to be a wearin’ job to git 
Josiah Allen to that parlor durin’ them fes- 
tivities and back agin with no damage or 
scandal arisin’ from the enterprise. 

But Faith sez, “It will be too early, they 
won’t begin to dance till eight. We eat at 
six.” And I sez, “For the land’s sake! if I’d 


120 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


got to dance I should begin early and stop early, 
so’s to git a little rest.” And she sez: 

“Young folks don’t think about that.” 

Well, we compromised on half past seven 
(most bed-time). And when Faith knocked at 
our door at that epoch of time we wuz all ready. 
Josiah had carefully combed his few locks 
of gray hair upwards over his bald head, had 
donned a sweet smilin’ look, and a cravat, gayer 
fur than I approved of (he’d bought it durin’ 
the day onbeknown to me). And I had arrayed 
my noble figger in my usual cotton and wool 
brown dress, brightened up at the neck and 
sleeves with snowy collar and cuffs, and further 
enriched by the large cameo pin. I also carried 
a turkey feather fan that harmonized in color 
with my dress. I looked exceedingly well and 
felt well. 

And Faith, I sez proudly to myself, a sweeter 
face and prettier dress won’t be seen there 
to-night. She did look lovely. Her soft eyes 
shone, her cheeks looked pinky, her hair, a sort 
of a golden brown with some gray in it, crinkled 
back from her white forward and wuz gathered 
in a loose knot on the top of her head with a 
high silver comb. Her dress wuz thin and white 
and gauzy, and though it wuz considerable 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 121 

plain it wuz made beautiful by the big bunch 
of pale pink roses at her belt and bosom, jest 
matchin’ her cheeks in color. 

I wuz proud of her. And I felt quite well 
about my other companion, for as I glanced at 
the small kerseymear figger and pert bald head, 
I sez to myself, “ He makes a much better escort 
than none at all.” 



CHAPTER EIGHT 


In which Mr. Pomper declares 
his intenshuns arf gives his 
views on matrimony 



CHAPTER EIGHT 


IN WHICH MR. POMPER DECLARES HIS IN- 
TENSHUNS AN’ GIVES HIS VIEWS ON 
MATRIMONY 

A S our party sort o’ swep’ gracefully down 
into the hall, we thought we would 
step outdoors for a minute for a breath 
of fresh air. It looked gay and almost fairy- 
like out there. The two broad piazzas wuz 
all lit up with colored lights and baskets of 
posies hung down between ’em full of bloom, 
and the broad piazzas and wide flight of steps 
leadin’ up to ’em wuz full of folks in bright 
array, walkin’ and talkin’ and laughin’ makin’ 
the seen more fair and picture-like. And in 
front wuz the long grassy lawn with its gay 
flower beds, and the long walk down to the 
wharf all sparklin’ with lights, and beyend, in 
front of it all, lay the deep river, with its 
sighin’ voice borne in on the stillness, jest as in 
the hearts of every one of that throng, way back 
beyend the gayety and sparklin’ mirth lay the 
deep sea of their own inner life, with its melan- 
125 


126 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


choly hantin , memories, its sighin’ complainin’ 
voices, its deeps that nobody else could fathom. 

And while we stood there, I wrapped in reverie 
and a gray zephyr shawl, a broad beam of light 
wuz cast from somewhere fur off, shinin’ full 
and square first one side then the other side of 
the river. Nearer and nearer it seemed to be 
cornin’ towards us, and wherever that light fell 
a picture wuz brung quick as a flash of lightnin’ 
out of the darkness. 

It seemed some like the day of Judgment 
shinin’ through the darkness of men’s lives and 
bringin’ out the hidden things. Way out in the 
distance where nothin’ could be seen but black- 
ness and shadows, the beam would fall and a 
island would stand out plain before us, houses 
with men and wimmen on the piazzas, a boat 
house, a boat with men and wimmen and 
children in it. You could see for one dazzlin’ 
minute the color of their garments, and the 
motion of their hands and arms, then the sea 
of darkness would engulf ’em agin, and on the 
nigh side out of the darkness would shine out a 
vision of the shore with trees standin’ up green 
and stately, and you could see the color of leaf 
and bough and almost the flutter of their leaves. 
A green lawn, rosy flower beds, a pretty cottage, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 127 

faces at the windows, agin darkness swallowed 
it up, and broad and brilliant the great shaft of 
light lay on the blackness, and on the shinin' 
water fur ahead a boat stood out vivid. Its 
white sail shone, the young man at the helm 
with uplifted head wuz wavin' a greetin', the 
girl in the other end of the boat looked like a 
picture in her broad hat and white wrap, and 
beyend 'em and all round 'em, wuz little boats, 
and fur ahead a big steamer. 

Anon it wuz turned sideways, and a dark 
mysterious craft wuz seen sailin’ by mysteri- 
ously, one of the big lake vessels goin' I know 
no| where. Anon a dazzlin' flash swep’ right 
across us, bringin’ Faith and me and my pardner 
out into almost blindin' relief, his bald head 
shinin' in the foreground, his cravat gleamin' 
almost blindin'ly, and with music and bright 
light shinin’ from the cabin winders, and decks 
loaded with gay passengers, the Search Light 
Steamer swep’ up to the wharf. 

The ball had not yet arrove at its hite when 
we entered the festivious hall, so we readily 
found seats in a commogious corner. On one 
side on me wuz my pardner, on the off side sot 
Faith in her serene beauty. In front of me 
and on each side the gay crowd of dancers. 


128 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


Pretty young girls arrayed in every color 
of the rain-bow. Handsome young men, ditto 
homely ones, little children as pretty as posies 
with their white dresses and white silk stockin’s 
and slippers dancin’ as gayly as any of the rest, 
all on ’em big and little, graceful and awkward, 
swingin’, turnin’, glidin’ along, swingin’, turnin’, 
all keepin’ time to the sweet swayin’ tones of 
the music, music that seemed sometimes to bear 
my soul off some distance away and swing it 
round and dance with it a spell, and then whirl it 
back agin to the Present and Josiah. It wuz 
a queer time, but very riz up and enjoyable 
in spite of some little sharp twinges th^.t 
come anon or oftener, which might have been 
conscience, but which I tried to lay off onto 
rumatiz. 

Two wimmen wuz talkin’ near us, sez one of 
’em, “ There he goes agin, see him prancin’ 
round.” And she motioned to a young chap 
I’d noticed who seemed to be the most inde- 
fatigable dancer in the hull lot, and his face 
wuz determined lookin’, as if his hull life de- 
pended on gallopin’ round the room, and as if 
he never wuz goin’ to stop. 

“See him,” sez the woman, “that young 
man’s father and grand-father would have 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 129 

swooned away if they’d thought that any of 
their kin would dance.” 

“Wuz they so good?” sez the other woman. 

“No,” wuz the reply, “they had all sorts 
of narrowness, sins and coniptions, but they 
thought dancin’ wuz the wickedest thing ever 
done. This boy wuz brought up as strict as a 
he nun, and now see him prancin’ round!” 

And I spoke up and sez, “I hope he will prance 
off some of them hereditary sins, if he’s got to 
prance.” They looked round at me consider- 
able cool and I said no more. But everybody 
wuzn’t so dost mouthed, for pretty soon a old 
lady come and sot down in a chair by the side 
of me — Faith had moved a little back — and 
she sez: 

“I want to dance; I love it dearly.” 

I looked up at her in amaze. Her cheeks 
wuz fell in. Her brow wuz yellered and fur- 
rowed with years, and though her dress wuz 
gay she couldn’t conceal Time’s ravages. 

“Dance,” sez I kinder dreamily and brow 
beat, “well, why don’t you dance?” 

Sez she, “I don’t know any of the gentlemen 
here.” 

I felt a movement on my nigh side and see 
that Josiah wuz leanin’ forward in deep interest, 


i 3 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and thinkses I, he is sorry for her folly, he has 
a noble heart. Well, ere long she riz up and 
went out into the hall, and I mused on what I 
had so often mused on — how necessary it wuz 
for everybody to keep on their own forts — 
sixty years had fled since dancin’ wuz her 
becomin’ fort, now a rockin’ chair and knittin’ 
work wuz her nateral fort, but she didn’t 
realize it. 

Well, the dancin’ kep’ on, the music pealed 
out sweet peals, heavenly sweet, heavenly sad, 
and I wuz carried some distance away from my- 
self and heeded not what wuz passin’ by my 
side. Anon a dance come on that wuz called a 
German. In some of the Aggers they seemed 
to be givin’ presents to each other, and had 
these presents kinder strung onto ’em, same as 
savages ornament themselves with beads and 
things, though these wuz quite pretty lookin’ 
and seemed made up of posies and ribbins and 
pretty little trinkets. And then the lights wuz 
lowered and I see a long line of Aggers come 
glidin’ in, keepin’ step to the music, each one 
bearin’ a pretty little colored lantern. And as 
I looked on my eyes wuz almost stunted and 
blinded by a sight I see. Who wuz the couple 
bringin’ up the rear? Wuz it — it could not be 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 15 1 

— but yet it wuz my pardner, leadin’ in the 
ancient dame, who wuz footin’ it merrily on 
her old toes, or as merrily as she could, liable 
to fall down every step with rumatiz and old age. 
And what did my pardner bear in his hand ! 

That very day in goin’ about the place he 
found in a store an old tin lantern, a relic of 
the past someone had left there to be sold. 
It wuz a lantern that used to be in vogue before 
Josiah Allen wuz born, a anteek tin lantern with 
holes in the sides, and one candle power. He 
had bought it greedily, sayin’ it wuz jest like 
one his grandpa had when he wuz a child. 

He had left it in the office, and had lit that 
lantern and wuz now hangin’ along in the rear 
of that gay procession, with that mummy-like 
figger, a jest, a byword and a sneer, for laughter 
riz up round ’em and sneers follered ’em as they 
swep’ onwards. As they come nigh me I riz up 
almost wildly and ketched holt of my pardner 
and sez I: 

“Desist! Josiah Allen, stop to once!” 

The aged female looked at me in surprise and 
feeble remonstrance, and sez she: 

“Can it be that you’re jealous?” t 

Even in that awful moment my powers of 
deep reasonin’ didn’t desert me and I said: 


132 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



“ As they come nigh me I riz up almost wildly and ketchei 
holt of my pardner and sez I: ‘ Desist ! Josiah 
Allen , stop to once!’ The aged female looked at me 
in surprise ” ( See page 131) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 133 

“If I wuz goin' to be jealous I wouldn't be 
of a animated mummy, or livin' skeleton!" 
And to my companion I sez, “Josiah Allen, if 
you don't set down here by me, I will part 
with you to once before the first Square or 
Justice I can ketch!" 

He see determination on my eye-brow, and 
as they wuz in the extreme rear of the line, and 
it didn’t break up nothin’, I ketched the lan- 
tern out of his hand and blowed it out, and put 
it under his chair as he sot down in it. And then 
to her I sez with a almost frozen politeness: 

“I’d advise you, mom, to soak your feet and 
go to-bed." 

She vanished. But to my pardner my voice 
lost that icy coldness and become het up 
with indignation, and I sez, “What tempted 
you, Josiah Allen, to make a perfect fool of 
yourself — a show for hollow worldlings to 
sneer at!" 

“Fool!" sez he in bitter axents, “you call me 
that when I wuz strictly actin' out what you've 
always ordered me to do. You’ve always told 
me to be good to females, to put myself out and 
make a martyr of myself if necessary for their 
good. But it is the last time!" sez he bitterly, 
“the very last time I will ever have anything 


134 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

to do with your sect in any way, shape or 
manner. I get no thanks from you for anything 
I do, and the worm may jest as well turn first 
as last.” 

“Do you pretend to say, Josiah, that you did 
this to please me?” 

“Yes mom, I do! I did it to please you, and 
to take that woman’s part. You hearn her 
say she wanted to dance, but no man wuz 
forthcomin’. ” 

“Dance!” sez I, “dance at ninety years old!” 

“She hain’t much more’n eighty,” sez he, 
“I don’t believe. But anyway, you won’t git 
me into such a scrape agin. Your sect may be 
trod on for all that I care. They may set round 
till they grow to their chairs and be trompled 
down into the ground — and I jest as soon 
tromple on a few myself,” sez he recklessly. 

Oh dear me! what a mysterious curous trial 
pardners be more’n half the time! but still I 
feel that they pay after all. 

Let him talk as he would I knew he wuz only 
carryin’ out that fad to try to be genteel and 
fashionable, and oh how much trouble I’ve seen, 
from first to last, with that sperit in my pardner! 

Well, we didn’t stay down much longer. 
Faith had stepped out of the long winder 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 135 

behind us and wuz lookin’ off onto the glorified 
river durin’ this contrary temps , and as I glanced 
out of the winder to look for her I see the huge 
form of Mr. Pomper hoverin’ in the foreground > 
and I sez to Josiah, “I think it is time to retire 
and go to bed.” 

And Faith bein’ ready to go, we ascended to 
our rooms. As we passed one of the landin’ 
places on the staircase where some chairs wuz 
placed, I see the ancient dame settin’ and 
sarahuptishously rubbin’ her ankle jints. She 
straightened up and looked kinder coquetishly 
at my pardner, but he swep’ by her as if she 
wuz so much dirt under his feet. Truly he 
seemed to be carryin’ out his plan of ignorin’ 
my sect and passin’ ’em by scornfully. I may 
see trouble with that sperit in him yet. 

The next mornin’ Josiah wanted Faith and I 
to go out with him fishin’ and have a fish dinner, 
a sort of a picnic, on some island on the fishin’ 
grounds. That’s quite a fashionable entertain- 
ment. They fish till they git real hungry I 
spoze, and then the boatman puts into some 
sheltered cove, and the party goes on shore, 
builds a fire and cooks some of the fish they 
have got, and make coffee, and with the nice 
lunch they took from the hotel, they have a 


1 36 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

splendid dinner I spoze, and take sights of 
comfort. 

Why lots of folks there would go out day after 
day early in the morning, and stay until night, 
and then would walk proudly in with a long 
string of fish, and would lay ’em on the desk 
in the office, and a admirin’ crowd would gather 
round to look at ’em and wonder how much 
they weighed. Why wimmen and children 
would catch fish so big that it is a wonder they 
could draw ’em into the boat, and I spoze they 
did have help from the stronger sect (stronger 
arms I mean). And besides the fish I spoze 
they ketch happiness and health. 

Well Josiah wuz rampant to go. He said 
he wanted to surprise the crowd in the hotel 
and the hull of Well’s Island with the fish he 
would git, and then I spoze the idee of the 
dinner wuz drawin’ him onward. I brung up 
several arguments, such as the danger, fatigue, 
etc., but he stood firm. But I had one weepon 
left that seldom failed, and as a last resort I 
drawed that weepon, and he fell woonded to 
once. Sez I, -“Do you have any idee, Josiah 
Allen, how much it is goin’ to cost you?” 

His linement fell. He hadn’t thought on’t. 
I see him silently draw a boatman into a corner 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 137 

and interview him, and I hearn no more about a 
fishin’ picnic. 

The very evenin’ after this, Fate and Mr. 
Pomper gin me a chance to carry out the plan 
I’d laid out heretofore. Josiah had stepped 
over to the post office, and Faith had walked 
over with him at my request, for she had a head- 
ache, and I told him to walk down to the wharf 
with her and see if the cool air wouldn’t do her 
good. So she had put a black lace scarf over 
her pretty golden hair and went off with him. 

Well, there wuz big doin’s at the Tabernacle 
that night, and it wuz a off night for music, 
and I found the parlor nearly deserted when I 
walked in and sot down in my accustomed easy 
chair. And no sooner had I sot down seem- 
in’ly than Mr. Pomper’s massive form emerged 
onto the seen, and he drawed up a chair and 
sot down by my side. 

Agreably to the plans I had laid down in 
my mind, I did not object to the move. But 
though a picture of calmness on the outside, 
inwardly I wuz callin’ almost wildly on my 
powers of memory, tryin’ to think jest what 
Malviny had done, one of the immortal Children 
of the Abbey, when Lord Mortimer approached 
her with his onlawful suit, and I tried also to 


138 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

recall what the Mountain Mourner had done 
in like circumstances, but before I had half 
done interviewin’ them heroines in sperit my 
mind wuz recalled into the onwelcome present 
by Mr. Pomper’s voice in my left ear: 

"I asked you, Josiah Allen’s wife,” sez he, “to 
listen to me, for I felt that you wuz the most 
proper person for me to state my feelings to. 
Since you and your party have entered this 
house,” sez he, “I have had a great conflict 
goin’ on between my mind and my heart.” 

“Ah indeed! have you?” sez I, liftin’ my 
nose at a angle of from forty to fifty degrees. 

“Yes,” sez he, “I have had a great struggle 
between my heart and my common sense, and 
in the battle that ensued, Common Sense and 
Reason has had to retire into the background, 
and Heart has triumphed.” 

“It is a great pity!” sez I, “Common Sense 
and Reason had much better come out ahead,” 
and agin I lifted my nose to its extremest 
limit, and looked swords and prunin’ knives at 
him. 

“That is just what most folks would say, I 
am aware, but listen to my story before you 
judge. I must reveal to you the state of my 
heart and affections!” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 139 

How sure it is that when a kag is tapped the 
contents will run out no matter whether it is 
wine or water. At them bold words accom- 
panied by the ardent rollin’ of that lone orb, 
my well-laid plans all left my mind, nothin’ wuz 
left but pure principle and devotion and loyalty 
to my pardner. The full kag emptied its con- 
tents over his nefarious purposes, and I bust 
out almost onbeknown to me and sez: 

“It is no use; it is vain, it is worse than 
vain! it is wicked!” 

“What,” sez he, “is she engaged to another?” 

“Who?” sez I, turnin’ like lightnin’ and facin’ 
him. 

“Why, Miss Smith, your niece or grand-child 
who is with you. That beauchious creature!” 
sez he. 

“Faithful Smith!” sez I faintly, “is she the 
one you are talkin’ about?” 

“Yes,” sez he, “your grand-daughter, is she 
not?” 

“My grand-daughter!” sez I in deep con- 
tempt, “she is my own cousin on my own side.” 

“I thought,” sez he, “from her looks and yours 
that she might be your grand-child, but that 
is of no moment,” sez he. 

“It is of moment!” sez I, “she is uncle 


i 4 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Leander Smith’s own child, and though she is 
a few years younger than I be, it has always 
been said and thought all over Jones ville and 
Loontown that I hold my age to a remarkable 
extent. And though I think my eyes of Faith 
I won’t thank you or anyone else for callin’ her 
my grand-child!” 

“But yet,” sez he, “that’s a tender, sweet 
relationship. What I want to say to you is 
in relation to Miss Smith, she looks sad but 
beauchious. I like her looks. You may have 
noticed that I have occasionally glanced in the 
direction of your party.” 

“Yes,” sez I, “Heaven knows I have noticed 
it!” 

“Yes,” sez he, “as I have looked upon her 
face from day to day a conflict has been wagin’ 
in my heart, and though you may be surprised 
at the result (for I am very wealthy) I have 
decided to make her glad and joyous once more.” 

He paused, as if for a reply, and I sez, “How 
did you mean to tackle the job?” 

“By makin’ her my wife,” sez he. 

The mystery wuz all explained, my dignity 
and my beloved pardner’s safety all assured. 
I felt a feeling of infinite relief, and yet I felt 
like a fool, and I blamed him severely for this 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 141 

ridiculous contrary temps that h^d occurred in 
my mind. 

“Of course,” sez he, “it is a great rise for 
her, I have hearn that she hain’t worth much, 
as I count wealth, and as we are speakin’ in 
confidence, I will say that there is a rich widder 
here who has hopes of me, and mebby I’ve 
gin her some encouragement, kinder accidental, 
as you may say, but I ort to know better. 
Widdowers can’t be too careful; they do great 
harm, let ’em be as careful as possible. They 
tromple right and left over wimmen’s hearts 
do the best they can. But since I have seen 
Miss Smith and witnessed her sad face I have 
done a sight of thinkin’. Here the case lays, 
the widder is strong, she can stand trouble 
better. The widder is happy, for she has got 
that which will make any woman happy — 
health, wealth, and property. And I’ve been 
turnin’ it over in my mind that mebby Duty is 
drawin’ me away from the widder and towards 
the maid. It hain’t because the widder is 
homely as the old Harry that influences me, 
no not at all. But the thought of lightenin’ the 
burden of the sad and down hearted, makin’ 
the mournful eyes dance with ecstasy, and the 
skrinkin’ form bound with joy like — like — 


i 4 2 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

the boundin’ row on the hill tops. Now as the 
case stands marry I will and must. My wife 
has already been lost for a period of three 
months lackin’ three weeks. She sweetly passed 
away murmurin’, ‘I am glad to go.’” 

“No wonder at that!” I sez, “no wonder!” 

“Yes, she wuz a Christian and she passed 
sweetly up into the Hevings, thank the Lord!” 
sez he lookin’ acrost onto Faith’s sweet face, 
for she had come back and set down acrost the 
room. 

“She is better off, I hain’t a doubt on’t!” sez 
I fervently. 

“I don’t know about that. I did well by 
her, and she felt as well as myself, that to be 
my wife wuz a fate not often gin to mortal 
wimmen.” 

“That is so!” sez I fervently, “that is so!” 

“Yes she wuz proud and happy durin’ her 
life. I did everything for her. I killed a 
chicken durin’ her last sickness onasked, jest 
to surprise her with soup. She lived proud and 
happy and died happy.” 

“I hain’t a doubt that she died happy.” 

“No,” sez he, “and now I must make a 
choice of her successor. It is a hard job to do,” 
sez he. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 143 

u No doubt on’t,” sez I, “no doubt on’t!” 

“Yes, whatever woman I choose, some must 
be left, pinin’ on their stems, to speak poeti- 
cally. I can’t marry every woman, that’s 
plain to be seen.” 

“Yes, thank Heaven! that’s a settled thing,” 
sez I lookin’ longin’ly at my pardner, who wuz 
leanin’ aginst the door and conversin’ with the 
man of the house on his chosen theme, for 
anon or oftener I hearn the words — Coney 
Island! Dreamland — Luny Park, etc., etc. 

“No, and my choice made, I want it done 
as speedily as possible, for my late lamented 
left as a slight token of her love thirteen children 
of all ages, rangin’ from six months up to twelve 
years, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, 
and three singles. 

“My wealth lays in land mostly. I never 
believed in idle luxuries, only comfort, solid 
comfort, and my wife will have a luxurious 
home of a story and a half upright, and a linter, 
groceries and necessaries all provided, and all 
she will have to do will be the housework and 
gently train and care for the minds and bodies of 
the little ones, with some help from the oldest 
set of triplets, and make my home agin an oasis 
of joy, a Eden below. Oh! how happy she 


i 4 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



ut No sez Mr. Pomper , want it dong as speedily as 
possible , fer my late lamented left me thirteen children , 
two pairs of triplets , two ditto of twins , and three 
singles'” (See page 143) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 145 

will be!” sez he, “Nestlin' down like a wanderin' 
ddve in the safety and peace and pride of mar- 
ried life. When can I see Miss Smith?” sez he. 
“Or will you tell her in advance of her good 
fortune?” 

“No indeed!” sez I, “I make no matches nor 
break none. You will have to do your own 
errents.” 




CHAPTER NINE. 

In which Mr. Pomper makes a 
offer of marriage and Faith 
has a wonderful experience 


; 






CHAPTER NINE 

IN WHICH MR. POMPER MAKES A OFFER 
OF MARRIAGE AND FAITH HAS A WON- 
DERFUL EXPERIENCE 



*AITH had got up and gone out onto the 


piazza, and he riz up ponderously and 


X proudly and follered her. And onless I 
put cotton in my ears, I couldn’t help hearin’ 
what wuz said. I could hear his proud axent 
and her low gentle voice in reply. 

Sez he, “Miss Smith, of course you hain’t 
known me long, but I feel that we are well 
acquainted. I have watched you when you 
hain’t known it.” 

I could imagine just how wonderingly the 
soft gentle eyes wuz raised to his as he went on: 

“Yes, I have kep’ my eye on you, and I will 
say right out that I like your looks and your 
ways, and I feel that you are worthy of being 
promoted to the high honor I am about to heap 
onto you, by askin’ you to be my wife.” 

I heard a little low, skairt ejaculation and a 
chair pushed back. 


149 


1 5 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“Your wife! oh no, no, you are mistaken !” 

Then his voice in soothin’ axents, “There, set 
down agin, set down. I knew you’d take it so. 
I knew it would overcome you, but I say you 
are worthy on’t, and you needn’t never be 
afraid I’ll throw it in your face that I am rich 
and you — and you ” 

Then I hearn a swish of a dress float along, 
quick steps acrost the piazza, a door shet, and 
anon Mr. Pomper come back to me. 

“Jest as I told you, mom, stunted,” sez he, 
“fairly stunted and broke down by the sudden- 
ness of the good news. I’ll give her time to 
git used to the idee. I won’t say no more at 
present.” 

“No,” sez I dryly, “I wouldn’t if I wuz in 
your place, I’d go and rub some ile into my head 
or sweat it, or sunthin’.” 

“What for?” sez he in surprise, “why should 
I bathe my head, or annoint it?” 

“Oh nothin’,” sez I, “if you don’t think it 
needs softenin’ up and illuminatin’.” 

Well, I went up to my room and in a few 
minutes Faith come in, and she went right by 
me and looked in the glass. She wuz pale and 
seemed to be kinder tremblin’. She studied 
her face intently in the lookin’ glass, then sez 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 151 

she, “What is there in my face, what have I 
done?” sez she, “How have I looked, that that 
awful man dare insult me? Oh, I must have 
looked weak or acted weak, or he wouldn’t have 
dared to!” and she busted out cryin\ 

And I sez soothin’ly, “It hain’t the worst 
thing that could happen to you. A offer of 
marriage hain’t like a attack of yeller fever, or 
cholera, or even the janders, nor,” sez I, “it 
hain’t like losin’ friends, or a plague of grass- 
hoppers, or ” 

And I spoze there hain’t no tellin’ onto what 
hites of eloquence I might have riz to cheer her 
up. But all of a sudden she bust out a-Iaughin’ 
with the tears standin’ in her big eyes and 
runnin’ down her cheeks. 

“There,” sez I, “you see I’m right, don’t 
you?” 

“Oh you dear, delicious Samantha!” sez she, 
and she throwed her arms round me and kissed 
me. I kissed her back and then I went on 
brushin’ my hair for the night. I hadn’t 
nothin’ on but my skirts and dressin’ sack, but 
I didn’t mind her. And she went and sot down 
by the winder and looked off into the west. Fur 
off the blue hazy distance lay like another 
country. The moonlight lay on the waters, 


1 52 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

a white sail fur off seemed to float into the 
dreamy mist. She sot there still, and a queer 
look seemed to come into her face. I felt that 
she wuz thinkin’ of him, the lost lover of her 
youth. I felt that she wuz with him and not 
with me. I thought from the looks of her face 
she might think he had been insulted by the 
rude feet that had assayed to walk into the 
kingdom where he had rained, and rained still, 
I believe. Sez I to myself, mebby she is walkin' 
with him in the past, and mebby in the futer, 
how could I tell, I felt queer and wadded up 
my hair with emotions that never before went 
into them hair pins. 

After I had finished I sot down, as my habit 
is, to read a few verses of Skripter, to sort o' 
carry with me in my journey through the 
unknown realms of Sleep. And as I make a 
practice of openin' wherever I happen to — or 
I don't really like that word happen — I let 
the book open where it will, and I wuz jest 
readin’ these words: 

“Ye have seen all that the Lord did before 
your eyes, the signs and the great miracles." 

When I hearn through my readin', as one will, 
the whistle of the night boat cornin' in, and the 
noise of many steps goin’ along the walk below. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 153 

Then I opened the book agin and went on with 
my readin’: 

“The secret things belong unto the Lord our 
God, but these things that are revealed belong 
to us.” 

When sunthin’ made me look up, Faith wuz 
bendin' forward lookin' out of the winder, 
though she couldn't see anyone that wuz 
passin’ on account of the ruff, and I see a look 
that I never see before on any face, it wuz all 
rousted up, illuminated, glad, triumphant, sad, 
glowin', blessed, and everything else. 

And I said, “What is it, Faith, what do you 
see?” 

Sez she, “I don't know.” 

And I said then, “What do you think it is?” 

And she sez, “Cousin Samantha, do you think 
that those who are far away ever return to the 
hearts that are mourning for them? Is there 
any way that souls can meet while the bodies 
are far apart?” 

“Why yes,” sez I, “I have always thought so, 
I have always thought they had some way of 
jtellin' us they wuz nigh without usin’ language 
we know anything about. Many is the time 
I've expected visitors that I hadn't seen or 
hearn from in some time, and sure enough 


154 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

they’d come jest as I seemed to think they would. 
And letters! how many a time all of a sudden 
I would most know I wuz goin’ to git a letter 
from somebody, and sure enough when Josiah 
would go to the post office he’d bring it back 
with him. How them folks hundreds of milds 
away managed to let me know they wuz thinkin’ 
of me on paper, or how I knew these friends wuz 
approachin’ onbeknown to me, I don’t know 
nor Josiah don’t. 

“ There wuzn’t no U. S. stamp on these mes- 
sages, nor earthly hands didn’t bring the tidin’s 
of these visitors. No the post-masters and 
messengers on that mysterious Route keep per- 
fect silence as to where they be, or who they be. 
But they are at work all the same, though who 
they work for, or how they work, how can we 
tell ? The strange rays of light that flash 
through the darkness of dense bodies makin’ 
visible what has been onseen since the creation, 
hasn’t discovered these highways yet, mebby 
they will. The strange new air route messages 
that travel acrost the stormy Atlantic may run 
right acrost these mysterious highways,” and 
for a minute my mind follered off on them 
strange, strange tracks, Marconi roads lighted 
by X-rays and leadin’ who knows where. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 155 

When my mind kinder come back agin to 
what we wuz talkin’ about I resoomed, “And 
if this happens to us as it duz time and agin in 
regard to friends and well wishers, how much 
more it is likely to be true of those we love and 
who love us. This strange knowledge and fore- 
warnin’ is not material, it is independent of the 
body or any workin’s of the mind that we 
understand, and how do we know how fur 
reachin’ and universal that law is if our eyes 
wuz not held so we could discern it? If these 
fine senses wuz not so unused, and as you may 
say bed-rid by disuse, how do we know how 
truly near to us may be those who in our blind- 
ness we say are fur away, how do we know but 
their spiritual self, their real self, may be nearer 
to us than our neighbors in the flesh, and those 
who sit by our firesides, though our mortal eyes 
may not see them, and oceans and seas may 
divide us and mebby the Deepest River. What 
do we know about the onseen roads that lay 
all about us, leadin’ from Loontown and Jones- 
ville and from one continent to the other, and 
mebby up through the clear fields of Light? 
What do we know about them still mysterious 
streets windin’ mebby from our home and 
hearts to Thomas Jefferson’s, and so on, mebby 


156 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

from star to star? And what do we know of 
the travelers that go up and down on 'em and 
outward and homeward? These roads don't 
need any surveyor to lay 'em out, or path- 
master to clear ’em of snow and dirt, no weeds 
grow up by the wayside, nor dirt lays in the 
track. 

“No, clear and broad and unobstructed the 
luminous pathways may lay all round us on- 
known to us. Noiseless chariots, swifter than 
our imaginations can grasp now, may cleave 
these star routes, connecting one land to an- 
other, and mebby jinin’ immense distances to 
our planet, as easy as we can hitch up and go 
to Jonesville. 

“We don’t see these noiseless conveyances, 
lighter and swifter than thought, nor the forms 
they waft to us from afar. We can’t hear their 
voices, but our soul listens ! We feel their near- 
ness! For a blessed moment we are thrilled 
with the bliss of their presence, their full com- 
prehension of pity and love. 

“'Dear ones!’ our heart cries, 'where are 
you ? Come nearer ! Let our eyes behold you !’ 
Our soul peers longin’ly through the mist of 
earthly blindness, looking! listening!” 

I wuz carried some distance away from my- 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 157 

self by my deep eppisodin’ when a sigh from 
Faith brung me down and landed me on terry 
firmy agin and I sez, 

“Why do you ask this question to-night, 
dear?” 

“Because,” sez she in a tremblin’ voice, “I 
feel that someone long gone and lost is near me 
to-night, I feel the presence nearer than you are 
now,” sez she, puttin’ her little white tremblin’ 
hand on my own. 

“I am not mistaken,” sez she with streaming 
eyes, “I know that in whatever world or dis- 
tant way that soul may be dwellin’, it is with 
me to-night. It frightens me!” sez she, white 
as a cloth, “And it fills me with the blessedness 
of Heaven!” And she smiled with her big 
luminous eyes. She wuz tremblin’ like a popple 
leaf. 

“Well, well,” sez I, “shet up the winder, and 
take a little catnip tea. I’ll steep it on my 
alcohol lamp, and go to bed. You’ve been 
excited too much to-night.” I knew, though 
she didn’t say so, that the very idee of catnip 
wuz repugnant and oncongenial to her at that 
time, but I felt that I had reason and common 
sense on my side. Faithful hain’t over strong, 
and had been through considerable excitement, 


1 58 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

besides I hearn the distant step of my pardner, 
and his voice parleyin' with the hall boy for 
sunthin'. 

And though the subject broached by Faith, 
and believed in by me, wuz as interestin' to 
me as a subject could be, yet I felt then, and 
feel now, that though transcendentalism may 
be more agreable talkin' matter, and may be 
indulged in at times, yet such commonplace 
subjects as herb drink has to be brung forwards 
and sort o’ hung onto by our minds, in order 
to anchor 'em as it were to the land of Megum- 
ness, where I would fain tarry myself and have 
my near and dearest dwell. But Faith said she 
didn’t want any catnip, and jest before Josiah 
come in she kissed me good night, and I said, 
“Good night, dear, and ‘God be with you till 
we meet again. ' " 

I knew she thought everything of that him, 
and thought mebby it would sort o' quiet her 
some since she rejected the paneky I spoke of. 
But her face at the very last looked white and 
riz up and luminous, and her eyes shone. I 
felt queer. 

The next day wuz Sunday and Josiah and I 
went to the Tabernacle to meetin’. Faith havin' 
a headache didn’t go. But before I go any 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 159 

furder I will back up the boat and moor it to 
the shore, while I tell you what the result wuz 
so fur as Mr. Pomper wuz concerned. At the 
breakfast table next mornin’ he cast languishin’ 
glances at Faith, and then looked round the 
room proudly as much as to say: 

“Gentlemen and ladies, behold my choice, 
and I hain’t sorry I chose her out of the throng 
of waitin’ wimmen.” 

But some time durin’ that day he found out 
his mistake. I don’t know exactly how Faith 
managed to pierce the rhinocerous hide of his 
self-conceit with the truth, but she did somehow 
let him know that his attentions wuz futile, 
futiler than he ever mistrusted his attentions 
could be. 

But he wuzn’t danted and down-casted more’n 
several minutes, I guess, for anon I see him 
walkin’ with a woman almost as ponderous as 
he wuz, and as she wuz all janglin’ with black 
jet and as humbly as humbly could be, I mis- 
trusted that he had gone back to his allegiance 
to the widder, and I think he looked happier 
than I had ever seen him. He looked as if he 
wuz rejoiced that his temporary thraldom to 
sentiment wuz over, and common sense and 
practical gain wuz in the ascendancy agin. 


160 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


And though it hain’t much matter, I will say I 
read his marriage in the paper the next week: 

“Amaziah Pomper to Euphrasia, relict of 
Elnathan Fatt.” 

But I d’no as Faith knew anything about it, 
for she didn’t stay with us only a few days 
longer, she went on to visit her aunt Petrie and 
so on to the Ohio, makin’ a solemn promise to 
me to stop and visit us on her way home the 
last of September. Well, I will now onhitch 
the boat and row back, and then let it sail on 
down the stream of history. As I said, the 
next day after that singular experience of 
Faith’s wuz Sunday, and my pardner and I 
went to the Tabernacle. We wuz told that 
there wuz to be oncommon exercises that day 
owin’ to the visit of a great Evangelist from the 
West. Lots of folks had come on the night 
boats so as to be there to hear him. For if the 
angel Gabriel wanted to preach there to lost 
sinners, he couldn’t land there on Sunday unless 
he swum or come cross lots (that is, unless he 
flowed down). The folks on that island are 
too good to let anyone come there to meetin’ 
unless they come sarahuptishously. I asked 
a trustee once why it wuz wicked for folks to 
ride there to meetin’. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 161 


And he said, “A merciful man is merciful to 
his beast.” 

Sez I, “A steamer hain’t a beast, and if it 
vvuz, it wouldn’t tucker it out much to come over 
from the bay or Clayton.” And he said the 
sailors would have to toil to git ’em there. 

“ So the driver and the horses have to toil to 
git sinners to meetin’ on the main land,” sez I. 
And he said, “The steamers would make noise 
and confusion, and disturb the sweet Sabbath 
calm.” I felt there wuz some truth in this, 
though it wouldn’t make nigh so much noise 
as the thousands of church bells clangin’ out 
church time in cities and villages. 

Sez he, “If we allowed boats to land here we 
should be overrun with excursionists who don’t 
care for Sunday as a day of holy quiet and rest, 
and our peaceful Sabbath would be turned into 
a carnival of pleasure seekers, flirtations, giggles, 
brown paper parcels, egg shells, cigar smoke 
and sandwiches.” 

And I sez, “Like as not that is so.” And I 
felt that mebby he wuz in the right on’t. But 
some don’t like it and feel that they’d ort to 
take the resk. 








CHAPTER TEN 

W^e hear a great temperance ser- 
mon , but Josiah still hankers 
for Coney Island 
















CHAPTER TEN 


WE HEAR A GREAT TEMPERANCE SERMON , 
BUT JOSIAH STILL HANKERS FOR CONEY 
ISLAND 

E VER since I had been to the Thousand 
Island Park, my mind had roamed onto 
that idee of the Tabernacle with a sort 
of or. It is a big impressive word and one 
calculated to impress a stranger and sojourner. 
And so when we made up our minds to attend 
to it I almost instinctively put on my best 
alpacky dress (London brown) and I also run 
a new ribbin into my braize veil and tied it 
round my bunnet so it would hang in graceful 
folds adown the left side of my frame, I 
also put on my black mitts and my mantilly 
with tabs; of course I carried my faithful 
umbrell. 

I looked well. Faith had a bad headache, 
I guess the job of gittin’ that information into 
Mr. Pomper’s head had tuckered her out, so 
I and my pardner sot off alone. All the way 
there my mind wuz real riz up thinkin’ I wuz 
16s 



1 66 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


goin’ to see sunthin’ very grand lookin’ and 
scriptural, and I said over and over to myself 
a number of times with deep respect and or, 
“ Tabernacle! Tabernacle!” 

Yes, I felt some as if I wuz the Queen of 
Sheba and Josiah wuz Solomon, though I might 
have knowed, my pardner lacked the first 
ingregient in Solomon’s nater, wisdom. And 
I probable wuzn’t so dressy as Miss Sheba, 
’tennyrate I hadn’t no crown or septer, a brown 
straw bunnet and umbrell meetin’ my wants 
better, but not nigh so dashy lookin’. But 
my feelin’s all come from the name of the place 
we wuz bound for, and the patriarchical, Bibli- 
cal past my mind wuz rovin’ round in. Yes, 
my mind wuz rousted up and runnin’ on the 
trimmin’s of the Ark and Temple. I thought 
like as not I should see purple curtains hung 
on shinin’ poles, jest so many cubits long and 
high, and gorgeous carpets to walk on and 
ornaments and fringes and tossels. 

I would not ask questions, but I wuz prepared 
for splendid lookin’ things and lots of ’em. 
Well, if you’ll believe me there wuzn’t a thing 
there that I expected to see, not a ornament or 
curtain or tossel, and nothin’ but jest common 
ground to walk on like our suller bottom or 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 1 67 

dooryard. And long benches all through it as 
fur as the eye could reach almost. 

The platform wuz big as most meetin’ housen, 
but bare and plain, and there wuz what seemed 
to be sheets hung up round the hull concern, 
though rolled up so we could see out all round 
us. There wuz only one way it come up to my 
idees, and that wuz the cubits. I should think 
it wuz jest about as many cubits long and 
broad as anything ever wuz or ever will be. 
They say it will hold five thousand folks, and 
I should judge they wuz all there that mornin’, 
and had brung their children and relations on 
both sides. 

They wuz havin’ a song service when we went 
in, and to hear five thousand voices or so fillin’ 
that Tabernacle full of high and inspirin’ melody, 
wuz indeed a treat. It filled it so full that it 
oozed out of the sheets on all sides and soared up 
through the encirclin’ green trees, up, up towards 
the blue sky, and no knowin’ how much furder it 
did go upwards, clear up to Heaven like as not, 
for that place we have always been told is the 
home of music. It wuz sun thin’ to remember 
as long as you lived to hear that great flood of 
melody flow out and swash and sway round us, 
bearin’ us some distance away from ourselves. 


1 68 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


My Josiah tuned up and sung jest as loud as 
any of ’em, but his singin’ would have sounded 
better if he had sung the tune the rest did. 
He sung the tune he had always been used to 
singin’ hims in, he is dretful sot on it, and don’t 
like to change. But as he seemed to enjoy it 
so much, and the great rush of melody wuz so 
powerful his voice wuz onnoticed. The him 
wuz, “How firm a foundation ye saints of the 
Lord.” 

Mr. Pomper wuz jest ahead on us, and 
thinkin’ he would see better, I spoze had got 
up on the bench, and jest as he shouted out 
with the rest, “How firm a foundation,” the 
bench broke and down he come, but in the big 
volume of sound, his yell of fright wuzn’t heard 
no more than the note of a mosquito in a 
cyclone. 

In the intervals of silence Josiah sot and made 
comments to me on the surroundin’ seen, that 
alas made me know his mind wuzn’t riz up 
on such hites as mine wuz. He commented 
on the looks of the men around him, and cast 
the idee in my face that there wuzn’t any on 
’em so good lookin’ as he wuz, or nigh so dis- 
tinguished in their means. I felt sorry to 
think he wuz so blinded, though of course he 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 169 



“Mr. Pomper , thinkin 9 he would see better , got up on the 
bench , and jest as he shouted out 1 How firm a foun- 
dation. * the bench broke and down he come.” 

( See page 168) 


i 7 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

looks good to me. And he talked about the 
wimmen and advanced the idee that they well 
might take pattern by his pardner in their 
looks and deportment. Josiah after all is a 
man of good sense. 

As I looked round me, I liked the place more 
and more. What need wuz there of upholstery 
and carpets? Brussels never turned out such 
a carpet as old Mom Nater had spread all round 
that Temple of hern. Old Gobelin never wove 
such tapestry. No Empress of the wonder-laden 
East ever had hung in her boodore such a 
marvelous green texture as drooped down in 
emerald canopies above us. No golden lamp 
ever gin such a light as sifted down over the 
matchless green overhead, to light that solemn 
sanctuary. No organ ever gin out such sweet 
sound as the birds warbled anon or oftener. 
No jeweled ornaments ever sparkled on a altar 
like the emerald and gold winged butterflies 
flutterin’ round that sacred hant, amongst the 
wild flowers that blossomed even up to the door. 
And it seemed as if the soul could soar up 
easier somehow when you could look right into 
the blue mystery of the sky, the trackless path 
that souls mount up on in prayer and praise. 
Somehow plaster and mortar seem more con- 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 171 

finin'. Though I d'no as it really makes any 
difference. Heaven is over all, and the soul's 
wings can pierce the heaviest material, bein' 
made in jest that strong and delicate way, but 
yet it seemed more free and soarin’ somehow, 
and as if the path heavenward wuz clearer. 

The breezes kind of hung off and didn't come 
in. Josiah said they wuz afraid to land on 
Thousand Island Park for fear of bein’ fined 
for travelin' on Sunday, but it wuzn’t so, they 
didn’t come because it wuz so sultry and kinder 
muggy. 

I'd hearn that the man who wuz goin' to 
preach wuz a dretful smart man, a Evangelist 
and Temperance Lecturer. A man so gifted 
and good that folks would go milds and milds 
to hear him, he seemed to hold the secret of 
inspirin' men and wimmen, and rousin’ ’em 
out of their cold icy states, and drawin' 'em 
right along towards the mounts he habitually 
stood on. He'd done sights of good, sights 
on it. 

And anon I see a stir round the preacher’s 
stand that made me know the speaker of the 
day, the great. Revivalist and Temperance 
worker had come. And most immegiately a 
tall figger passed through the crowd that made 


172 SAMANTHA ,AT CONEY ISLAND 

way for him reverentially. There wuz a smile 
and a good look on his face for all the bretheren 
round him, some like a benediction, only less 
formal. As he come out on the stand and 
stood before us I could see that there wuz a 
light shinin’ on his face as if ketched from some 
heavenly and divine power. His eyes wuz 
soft and deep lookin’, as if he knew jest how 
mean and weak humanity wuz, and wuz sorry 
for folks, and would like to tell ’em the secret 
he had found out, how to overcome the world, 
the flesh, and the devil, specially the devil. 

His smile wuz sad and sweet, jest about 
half-and-half. His features wuz good, and his 
hair, which wuz light brown to start with, wuz 
considerable gray round his forward. His voice 
wuz like the sound of deep waters that pene- 
trates through all lighter voices and that you 
hear through ’em all, jest as you hear the voice 
of the great River through all the murmurin’s 
of the trees and bird song on the shore. He 
gin out a him in that sweet melogious voice that 
wuz as good as singin’ or better. The him told 
how, though we could not climb up into Heaven 
to bring the Lord Christ down, yet how love had 
still its Olivet and Faith its Galilee. And one 


verse wuz: 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 173 

“The healing of that seamless dress 
Is by our beds of pain; 

We touch it in life’s care and stress 
And we are strong again.” 

And oh the truth of them verses! As that 
man read and prayed and spoke, that seamless 
dress seemed to float along by us, worn by the 
pityin’ Christ, we laid holt on it with our 
yearnin’ longin’s and outreachin’ sperits, and 
felt that strength had gone out of it into our 
souls. 

His prayer seemed to bring Heaven so near to 
us that we could almost look in. He asked the 
Lord to draw nigh to us, and He did. He asked 
Him to help us bear our daily trials and temp- 
tations, and the weary wearin’ cares of life, 
and we felt that He would help us. We felt 
that that sweet strong appeal for the Comforter 
to come, into our lives to bless and strengthen 
us for good work, wuz answered then and 
there. 

The Word he read wuz that incomparable 
chapter in Hebrews, in which Paul tells of the 
mighty works wrought by faith, of them who 
through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought right- 
eousness, stopped the mouths of lions, out of 
weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in 


V.. 


174 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. 
Women received their dead raised to life agin. 
And on to the end of that matchless chapter. 

And the text wuz, “Wherefore seeing we are 
encompassed about by so great a cloud of wit- 
nesses let us lay aside every weight and the 
sin that doth so easily beset us, and let us run 
with patience the race that is set before us.” 

And then follered a sermon that wuz better 
than any I ever hearn in my life, and I have sot 
under splendid preachers in my day. But this, 
though delivered in simple language wuz so 
helpful, lifting us, holding us up, so we could 
ketch a glimpse of the right way and inspire us 
with the strength to foller it. 

He pinted out to us the sins that so easily 
beset us, easily indeed. Not the old sins of 
Adam and Noah and the rest — patriarchal sins 
that made us feel reproachful towards the old 
sinful patriarchs and comfortable toward our- 
selves. No, he pinted out the besettin’ sins that 
are rampant and liable to ruin us in the nineteen 
hundreds. After speakin’ of the other deadly 
sins that are liable to lay holt on us, such as 
onchari tableness, envy, jealousy, bigotry, in- 
tolerance, injustice, over-weaning ambition, and 
other personal and national sins, he spoke at 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 175 

length of that monster sin, that national disgrace, 
Intemperance. 

I spoze it wuz some as if when you tapped a 
barrel filled with pure water, why pure water 
would flow out of it. And I spoze he wuz so 
full of his great life work aginst that gigantick 
evil Intemperance, that them ideas had to 
flow out when the plug of silence wuz removed. 
And readin* what he had about them who 
through faith had stopped the mouth of lions, 
escaped the edge of the sword, I spoze he wanted 
to make his hearers feel that they too could so 
arm themselves with faith and the power of 
His might, as to stop the mouths of these 
nineteenth century lions, overthrow the laws 
entrenched in lion-like strength in the strong- 
hold of National protection, and escape the 
edge of the sword of personal greed and selfish- 
ness, and put to flight the army of the aliens 
from God and the good of humanity. 

And I spoze when he thought of them wimmen 
who had received their dead raised to life agin, 
he thought of the yearly sacrifice to Intemper- 
ance, the thousands and thousands of husbands, 
sons, brothers who are struck by the death 
blight now, makin’ ready to fall into those 
oncounted graves. And he wanted to roust 


176 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

’em up and save their souls and bodies alive 
and give them back to these wimmen agin, 
raised from the dead. 

Yes, his warnin’s and appeals wuz all directed 
to this present time and preached to us. He 
never mentioned them old Egyptians who wuz 
all dead and drownded out years ago, both by the 
Red sea, and the long swosh of the sea of Time, 
or the old Jews and Hebrews, nor he didn’t 
dwell on science or philosophy, but he pressed 
the truth home to the hearts of his hearers, how 
the Lord Jesus had once dwelt upon earth, how 
He had passed through all the cares and suffer- 
ings that we wuz passing through, how He wuz 
tempted by the sins, pained by the griefs of the 
world, and how He pitied us and would help us. 

As I say, instead of Bible crimes that had 
been committed centuries ago, he dwelt strong 
and as if his hull heart wuz in his words on that 
terrible national crime back of most all the 
other sins and crimes of to-day. That stands 
a huge black shape blocking up the world’s 
progress, that we ort to try our best to fight 
aginst, and how we had a Helper. And his 
idee wuz that good men, clergymen and such, 
who are wont to stand off and look down on the 
battlefield, ort to buckle on their armor and 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 177 

join in the warfare. And he said that if some- 
times the battle smoke hid the form of our 
great High Priest and Helper we mustn’t forgit 
that He wuz there, lookin’ on, seeing how the 
battle went between the Right and the Wrong, 
and giving His help towards the right side in 
His own good time, and he gin us to understand 
that: 

“ All the blood that falls in righteous cause, 

Each crimson drop shall nourish snowy flowers, 

And quicken golden grain bright sheaves of good, 
That under happier skies shall yet be reaped.” 

“ For,” sez he: 

“When Right opposes Wrong, shall Evil win? 

Nay, never; but the years of God are long.” 

And he counseled his hearers to keep on and 
work — work and follow the leadin’ of Him who 
shall conquer all sin and evil. 

It wuz a grand and powerful effort. It 
wuzn’t so flowery as I’ve hearn, but the strength, 
the pathos of it wuz wonderful. I didn’t wonder 
as I hearn him talk of what I’d been told that 
day by different ones of how people flocked to 
hear him, how he might have the choice of big 
city churches with big salaries accordin’, but 
he had chosen to stay by the common people. 


178 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Had elected that he would not have wealth and 
station, that he would go about tellin’ of the 
love of God, urgin’ men to accept Him, goin’ 
about doin’ good. 

As we listened to him, everything seemed 
possible, the right seemed possible to do, it 
almost seemed as if we felt the crown restin’ 
on our tired foretops. And he ended the ser- 
mon as he had begun it with a few words from 
the Book, “Now bretheren quit ye like men, be 
steadfast, strong in the Lord and in the power 
of His might.” And then agin he breathed out 
his very soul in prayer, and we wuz lifted up 
some distance towards the Better Country. As 
he ended his words we all heaved some long 
sithes and seemed to fall down some distance, 
and found ourselves to our great surprise still 
on the old earth. 

A enthusiastick little woman, who’d shouted 
out, “Amen!” with the best of ’em sez to me, 
“Wasn’t that sermon a grand one?” 

“Yes,” sez I, “it come right from his heart, 
and went to mine. It lifted me up some dis- 
tance above the earth,” sez I. 

“Yes,” sez she, “the Elder is one of the 
saints on earth, but we are afraid he hain’t long 
for this world.” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 179 

“Why?” sez I. 

“He don't take any care of himself. He lives 
alone with an old housekeeper who is dretful 
slack and don't have any faculty, and he don't 
have things for his comfort, though he don't 
complain. He gits no end of money, but gives 
it all away, or it is wasted to home. I went to 
his house once on business, - — I am from the 
West,” sez she, — “and it wuz so bare and 
desolate lookin’ that I almost cried. He ort to 
marry,” sez she, “I have five daughters myself, 
and three onmarried nieces and they all say the 
same thing, that he ought to be married to some 
woman who would jest worship him, for no woman 
could help it, and take care on him. For,” sez 
she with a shrewd look, “ the smartest men and 
the most spiritual ones are the most helpless, 
come to things of this world.” 

“Yes,” sez I, “our minister to Jonesville 
could no more make a mess of cream biscuit 
than he could fly. He is great on the Evidences, 
and a great Bible expounder, but he couldn’t 
sew on a button so it wouldn't pucker the cloth, 
if he should cry like a babe.” 

“No,” sez she, “I presume not, my girls are 
splendid with the needle, and good cooks, and 
so religious — it's a sight! and so are my sister’s 


i8o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


three girls, though they don’t quite come up to 
my five.” 

Well, there wuz a stir in the crowd. The 
Elder had come down and wuz shakin’ hands 
right and left with them that crowded up to 
him. The little woman pressed towards him 
and I wuz drawed along in her wake by the 
crowd, some as a stately ship is swep’ on by a 
small tug and the flowin’ waves. And anon, 
after shakin’ hands with her, he took my hand 
in hisen. A emotion swep’ through me, a sort 
of electric current that connects New Jerusalem 
to Jonesville and Zoar. He bent his full sweet 
penetratin’ look onto me, it seemed to go through 
my head clear to my back comb, and he sez, 

“Have I met you before?” 

“Yes,” sez I, “in sperit, we have met, I 
want to thank you for the words you have said 
this day. It seems to me I shall be good for 
some time, it seems that I must after hearin’ 
your discourse, and I want to thank you for it, 
thank you earnest and sincere.” 

He smiled sort o’ sad and yet riz up, and sez, 
“We are all wayfarers here on a hard journey, 
and if I can help anyone along the way, it is I 
who should be thankful, and,” sez he, “may 
God bless you, sister!” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 181 


And he passed on. 

But he seemed to leave a wake of glory 
behind him as he went, some like the glow on 
the water when the sun walks over it, a warmin’ 
life givuT influence that comes from a big soul 
filled with light and goodness. I seemed to 
be riz up above the earth all the way back to 
the. hotel, though in body I wuz walkin’ afoot by 
the side of my pardner. He too wuz enthused 
by the sermon — I had reconized his little 
treble voice shoutin’ out “Amen!” and he 
said now that it wuz grand, powerful! 

“Yes,” sez I, “and good and holy and 
tender!” 

“Yes indeed!” sez he. And he added, 
“Speakin’ of tenderness, I do hope the beef 
will be tenderer than it wuz yesterday. I don’t 
believe they have such beef to Coney Island.” 



CHAPTER ELEVEN 


In which we return home , and I 
perswaide Josiah to build a 
cottage for Tirzah Ann 



CHAPTER ELEVEN 


IN WHICH WE RETURN HOME , AND I PER - 
SWAIDE JOSIAH TO BUILD A COTTAGE FOR 
TIRZAH ANN 

T HE next afternoon Faith started on her 
visit to her aunt beyend Kingston. 
And immegiately after her departure, 
Josiah said he’d got to go home right away. 
Sez he, “It hain’t right to leave Ury to bear all 
the brunt of the work alone.” 

Sez I, “Ury has got over the hardest of the 
work, and writ so.” 

“Well,” sez he, “I’m a deacon and I can’t bear 
the thought of religious interests languishin’ 
for my help.” 

Sez I, “ Seven folks wuz baptized last Sunday: 
the meetin’ house wuz never so prosperous.” 
And then he went on and said political ties 
; wuz drawin’ him, and he brung up fatherly 
feelin’s for the children, and cuttin’ up burdocks, 
,and buildin’ stun walls, and etcetery. But 
■bein’ met with plain Common Sense in front 
of all these things, he bust out at last with 
185 

f 


1 86 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


the true reason: “I hain’t no more money to 
spend here, and I tell you so, Samantha, and I 
mean it !’ 

And I sez, “ Why didn’t you say so in the first 
place, it would have been more noble.” 

And he said a man didn’t care much about 
bein’ noble when they’d got down to their last 
cent (he’s got plenty of money, though I 
wouldn’t want it told on, for rich folks are 
always imposed upon, and charged higher). 

Well, suffice it to say, we concluded to go 
home the next day and did so. And though I 
felt bad to leave the horsepitable ruff where 
I’d enjoyed so much kind and friendly horspital- 
ity yet to the true home lover there are always 
strong onseen ties that bind the heart to the 
old hearth stun, and they always seem to be 
drawin’ and tuggin’ till they draw one clear 
back to the aforesaid stun and chimbly. Josiah 
paid for our two boards like a man, and we 
embarked for Clayton and from thence traveled 
by cars and mair to our beloved home. 

And right here let me dispute another wicked 
wrong story, we never had to pay a cent for 
gittin’ offen the Thousand Island Park. It is 
a base fabrication to say folks have to pay to 
git out. They let us out jest as free and easy as 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 187 

anything, and I thought they acted kinder 
smilin’ and good feelin’. What a world of fibs 
and falsehoods we are livin’ in! 

We got home in time for supper and at my 
companion’s request I took off the parfenalia 
of travel, my gray alpacky, and havin’ enrobed 
myself in a domestic gingham of chocklate color 
and a bib apron, I proceeded to help Philury git 
a good supper. The neighbors all flocked in to 
see us and congratulate us on our safe return 
from the perils and temptations of worldly 
society. And Josiah wuz indeed in his glory 
as he told the various deacons and church 
pillows that gathered round him from time to 
time, of all his fashionable experiences and 
dangerous exploits while absent. 

Of course my time wuz more took up by my 
female friends, but anon or oftener I would 
ketch the sound of figgers in connection with 
fish that wuz astoundin’ in the extreme. But 
when I would draw nigh the subject would be 
turned and the attention of the pillows would 
be drawed off onto yots, summer hotels, Taber- 
nacles, etc., etc. Well such is life. But anon 
the waves of excitement floatin’ out insensibly 
from the vortex in which we had so lately 
revolved round in, gradually abated and went 


1 88 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


down, and the calm placid surface of life in 
Jonesville wuz all we could see as we looked out 
of our turret winders — (metafor). 

Gradually the daily excitement of seein’ the 
milk cans pass morning and night, and the 
school children go whoopin’ schoolward and 
homeward, wuz the most highlarious excitement 
participated in. A few calm errents of borryin’ 
tea and spice, now and then a tin peddler and a 
agent, or a neighborhood tea drinkin’, wuz all 
that interrupted our days serene. 

And old Miss Time, that gray headed old 
weaver, who is never still, but sets up there in 
that ancient loom of hern a weavin,’ while her 
pardner is away mowin’ with that sharp scythe 
of hisen from mornin’ till night, and from night 
till mornin’, jest so stiddy did she keep on 
weavin’. Noiseless and calm would the quiet 
days pass into her old shuttle (which is jest 
as good to-day as it wuz at the creation). Silent 
days, quiet days, in a broad stripe, not glistenin’ 
or shiny, but considerable good-lookin’ after all. 
Then anon variegated with moon lit starry 
nights, blue skies, golden sunsets, deep dark, 
moonless midnights, all shaded off into soft 
shadders. 

And then givin’ way to a stripe of hit or miss, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 189 

restless hours, days when the “Fire won’t burn 
the stick and the kid refuses to go,” small 
excitements, frustrated ambitions, etc. 

Anon a broad gray stripe, monotony, deadly 
monotbny, and lonesomeness, gray as a rat both 
on ’em, all loosely twisted together makin’ a 
wide melancholy stripe. Then a more flowery 
piece, golden moments, mounts of soul trans- 
figuration, full understanding divine hopes and 
raptures, heart talks, illuminations, all striped 
in with images of golden rod, evergreen trees 
pintin’ up into the friendly blue heavens, that 
leaned down so dost you could almost see into 
the Sweet Beyond. Singin’ rivulets, soarin’ 
birds, green fields, rosy clouds. Anon a plain 
piece, some slazy, as the shuttle seemed to go 
slower and kinder lazy, and then agin quick 
strong beats that made the web firm as 
iron. 

Mebby that wuz the time that old Mr. Time 
hung up that old scythe of hisen for a few 
minutes on the top bars of the loom, and got in 
and footed it out for his pardner for a spell, 
while she rested her old feet or wound her bob- 
bins for another stripe. But such idees are 
futile, futiler than I often mean to be. ’Tenny- 
rate and anyway all the time, all the time the 


1 


190 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

shuttles moved back and forth to and fro, and 
old Miss Time’s tapestry widened out. 

That summer my pardner had a oncommon 
good streak of luck, he sold two colts and a 
yearlin’ heifer for a price that fairly stunted us 
both, it wuz so big. And his crops turned out 
dretful well, and he jest laid up money by the 
handfuls as you may say. And one day we wuz 
talkin’ about what extreme good luck we’d had 
for the past year, and we also talked considerable 
about Tirzah Ann and little Delight, and how 
they wuz both pimpin’ and puny. The older 
children away to school wuz doin’ first rate 
both in health and studies, but Tirzah Ann’s 
health wuz such that Whitfield had to keep a 
girl and pay doctor’s bills, and I sez to Josiah: 

“I am sorry for ’em as I can be, and if this 
goes on much longer there don’t seem much 
chance of Whitfield’s buildin’ his house on 
Shadow Island this summer.” 

And Josiah sez, “No indeed ! if he can pay the 
doctor’s bills and help, he will do well. But,” 
sez he, “he is goin’ to have quite a good job up 
to his folkses.” 

His uncle, Jotham Minkley, who is forehanded 
and a ship builder up in Maine, had invited 
Whitfield to come and take charge of some 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 191 

bizness for him, and he said he must bring 
Tirzah Ann and Delight: So it wuz arranged 
that they wuz goin’ to stay for some time. We 
all thought the change would do Tirzah Ann 
good, and then Whitfield had been promised 
good pay for his work. And then wuz the time 
I tackled my pardner on the subject I had 
thought over so long. He looked so sort o’ 
mournful over the hard times Whitfield wuz 
havin’, and Tirzah Ann’s and Delight’s enjoy- 
ment of poor health, that I thought now wuz the 
appinted time for me to onfold this subject to 
him. This idee wuz that while Whitfield and 
Tirzah Ann wuz away up to Maine we should 
build a pretty little house for ’em on Shadow 
Island. “For,” sez I, “the health and life of 
Tirzah Ann and Delight may hang in the bal- 
ances, and if anything will help ’em I believe that 
dear old Saint Lawrence will.” But Josiah 
demurred strongly on account of the expense. 
In fact I had to use some of my strongest argu- 
ments to convince him of the feasibility of my 
plans. 

One of my arguments wuz that in all prob- 
ability all our property would before long de- 
scend onto the children, and so why not use some 
now for ’em, while they wuz sufferin’ for the use 


1 92 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

on’t. That wuz one of my arguments, and my 
other one wuz, that he couldn’t take any of his 
property with him. But he had got kinder mad 
and when I told him in a solemn tone, “Josiah 
Allen, you know you can’t take any of your 
property with you when you die,” he snapped 
out, “I don’t know whether I can or not; it 
won’t be as you say about it.” 

“Well,” sez I, in lofty axents and quotin’ 
Skripter, “there is only one way you can take 
your property with you, and that is to send it 
on before you. Make friends with the Mammon 
of your wealth so that when you fail here it may 
receive you into a everlastin’ habitation. Turn 
it into angels of Gratitude and Love that may 
be waitin’ to welcome you. Do good with your 
money. Lend to the Lord,” sez I. 

And Josiah wuz so pudgicky, he snapped out, 
“I didn’t know as the Lord wanted to borry 
any money.” 

But I gin him such a talkin’ to that I brung 
him to a sense of his sinful talk, and right then 
while he wuz conscience smut for as much as 
seven minutes, I brung him round to the idee 
of buildin’ the house. But it wuz a gradual 
bringin’. 

Of course he begged and beseeched to build it 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 193 

on Coney Island. Sez he, “I wouldn’t be- 
grech the money but spend it lavish, if the 
house sot there. I could go there and spend 
months and months of perfect bliss, and learn 
more there in one day than I could in years in 
Jonesville.” 

“Where would you build it?” sez I in frosty 
axents. 

“Well, the top of one of them tall mountains 
in Luna Park Serenus tells on would be a good 
spot, near the beautiful waterfall where the 
boats full of happy Hilariors dash down the 
steep declivity and bound way off onto the 
water and sail away. The view would be so 
lively and inspirin’, it would be equal to havin’ 
a brass band in your bedroom.” 

“Yes, jest about like that,” sez I. “Do you 
know what them mountains are made of? 
They’re jest about as solid as your idees.” 

“Well, I might build it on the other side of 
Surf Avenue, nigh that long line of dashin’ 
horses Serenus depicters, that go racin’ and 
cavortin’ round and round, bearin’ the gay and 
happy Hilariors on their backs.” 

“How much do you spoze a lot would cost 
there, Josiah, if you wuz ravin’ crazy enough 
to want it? All the property in Jonesville 


i 9 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

wouldn’t buy a spot big as a table cloth, and 
I d’no as it would a towel.” 

“Well,” sez he real sulky, “I can let my mind 
dwell on it, can’t I ? That is some comfort.” 

“I wouldn’t think on’t too much, you don’t 
want to tire your mind, it hain’t over strong, 
you know.” 

It beats all how sometimes when you are doin’ 
your very best for your pardners, they don’t like 
it. He acted huffy. 

But at last it wuz settled, Tirzah Ann’s cottage 
wuz to be begun the minute they left, it wuz 
to be kep secret from ’em, and we wuz to have 
a surprize party there, to welcome ’em home. 
Well, from the very day it wuz settled begun my 
trials with Josiah Allen about the plan. My 
idee wuz to employ a first rate architect, but 
he sez: 

“I can tell you, Mom, if that plan is made I 
shall make it. There hain’t an architect in the 
country that could begin with me in drawin’ up 
this plan.” Oh how I sithed and groaned when 
I see his sotness, and knowed he wuz no more fit 
for the job than our old steer to give music 
lessons on the banjo. 

He went to the village that afternoon and 
obtained two long blank books (oh that they 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 195 

could have stayed blank) and three quires of 
fool’s cap paper (well named) and a bottle of 
red ink and one of blue ink, besides black, and 
a dozen pencils of different colors, and after 
these elaborate preparations he begun drawin’ 
up his plans. 

He would roll up his sleeves, moisten his 
hands, and go to work early in the mornin’, and 
set and pour over ’em all day, every stormy day, 
and every night he sot up so late goin’ over ’em 
that he most underminded his health, to say 
nothin’ of the waste of my temper and kerseen. 
And then he would call in uncle Nate Peedick 
and they would bend their two gray bald heads 
together and talk about “ specifications” and 
“ elevations” and “ground plans” and “suller 
plans” till my head seemed to turn and my 
brain seemed most as soft as theirn. 

And sometimes Serenus Gowdey would be 
called in to aid in their deliberations, though 
their talk always led off onto Coney Island and 
rested there, he didn’t git no other idees out 
of him. Josiah never called on a woman for 
advice and counsel, not once, though a woman 
stood nigh him who wuz eminently qualified 
to pass a first class judgment on the plan. But 
no, it wuz males only who gin him their deepest 


1 96 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



“And then he would call in Uncle Nate Peedick and they 
would bend their two gray bald heads and talk about 
specifications and elevations till my brain seemed most 
as soft as theirn.” ( See page 195 ) 


/ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 197 

thoughts and counsels. Once in awhile I would 
ask how many stories he wuz layhT out to have 
it, and how big it wuz goin’ to be, and every 
time I asked him he said: 

“Wimmen’s minds wuz too weak to compre- 
hend his views. It took a man’s mind to tackle 
such a subject and throw it.” 

And that would mad me so that it would 
be some time before I would ask him agin, and 
then curosity would git the better of me and 
I would ask him agin sunthin’ about it, but his 
reply wuz always the same : 

“Wimmen’s minds wuz too weak and tottlin’ 
to tackle the subject.” So all the light I could 
git wuz to hear him talk it over with some man. 
I sdfe that there wuz a great difference of opinion 
between ’em. Josiah, true father of Tirzah 
Ann, seemed anxious mainly to unite display 
and cheapness. Uncle Nate seemed more for 
solidity and comfort. Sez Josiah to him: 

“It is my idee to have the house riz up jest 
as high as the timbers will stand, the main 
expense anyway is the foundation and floorin’ 
and I would rise up story after story all orna- 
mented off beautiful and cheap, basswood 
sawed off in pints makes beautiful ornaments, 
and what a show it would make round the 


198 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

country, and what air you could git up in the 
seventh or eight story.” 

So he would go on and argy, regardless of 
common sense or Tirzah Ann’s legs. And then 
Uncle Nate would reply: 

“Josiah, safety lays on the ground, and in 
this climate more liable each year to tornadoes 
and cyclones, the only safety lays in spreadin’ 
out on the ground. Build only one story,” 
sez he, “and a low one at that, and let it spread 
out every way as much as it wants to.” 

“But,” sez Josiah, “to have every room on 
the bottom would take up all the lot and lap over 
into the river.” 

“Better do that,” sez Uncle Nate, “than to 
have your children and grandchildren blowed 
away. Safety is better than sile,” sez he 
solemnly. And then I hearn ’em talkin’ about 
a travelin’ woodhouse. Josiah advoctated the 
idee of havin’ the woodhouse made in the form 
of a boat, only boarded up like a house, and have 
big oars fixed onto the sides on’t so’s it could be 
used as a boat, and a house. Sez he: 

“How handy it would be to jest onmoor the 
woodhouse and row over to the main land and 
git the year’s stock of wood, and then row back 
agin, cast anchor and hitch it onto the house 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 199 

agin.” But Uncle Nate demurred. He thought 
the expense would be more than the worth of 
usin’ it once a year. 

“Once a year!” sez Josiah. “You forgit how 
much kindlin’ wood a woman uses.” Sez he, 
“When she that wuz Arvilly Nash worked here 
I believe we used a woodhouse full a day. If we 
had a floatin’ woodhouse here, we should had 
to embark on it once a day at least and load it 
up with shavin’s and kindlin’ wood. Samantha 
is more eqinomical,” sez he. 

“But,” sez Uncle Nate, “I hearn that Whit- 
field’s folks wuz layin’ out to use a coal oil 
stove durin’ the summer.” 

Josiah’s face fell, “So they be,” sez he. 

But he wuz loath to give up this floatin’ 
woodhouse and went on: 

“ How handy it would be for a picnic, jest fill 
the woodhouse full of Highlariers and set off, 
baskets, bundles and all. It would do away with 
parasols; no jabbin’ ’em into a man’s eyes, or 
proddin’ his ears with the pints of umbrells. 
Or on funeral occasions,” sez he, “jest load the 
mourners right in, onhitch the room and sail off. 
Why it would be invaluable.” 

But Uncle Nate wuz more conservative and 
cautious. He sez, “What if it should break 


200 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


loose in the night and start off by itself? It 
would be a danger to the hull river. How would 
boats feel to meet a woodhouse? It would 
jam right into ’em and sink ’em — sunk by a 
woodhouse! It wouldn’t sound well. And row 
boats would always be afraid of it, they’d be 
thinkin’ it would be liable to come onto ’em at 
any time onbeknown to ’em, ’twouldn’t have no 
whistle or anything.” 

“Yes it would,” sez Josiah hautily; “I laid 
out to fix it somehow with a whistle.” 

“But it couldn’t whistle itself if it sot off 
alone.” 

“Well,” sez Josiah, scratchin’ his head, “I 
hain’t got that idee quite perfected, but I 
might have a self actin’ whistle, a stationary 
self movin’ gong, or sunthin’ of that kind.” 
But I didn’t wait to hear any more; I left the 
room, and I shouldn’t wonder if I shet the door 
pretty hard. 


CHAPTER TWELVE 

In which Josiah still works at 
his plan for Tirzah Ann's 
cottage , and decides to send his 
lumber C. O. W'. 










CHAPTER TWELVE 


IN WHICH JO SI AH STILL WORKS AT HIS 
PLAN FOR TIRZAH ANN’S COTTAGE , AND 
DECIDES TO SEND HIS LUMBER C. 0 . W. 

W ALL the next evenin’, Josiah would 
make the plan all over, would rub 
out red marks and put in blue ones, 
and then rub ’em out with his thumb and fore 
finger, and then anon, forgittin’ himself, he’d 
rub his forward with the same fingers, till he 
looked like a wild Injun started for war. And 
he would sithe heart breakin’ sithes, and moisten 
his hands in his mouth, and roll up his shirt 
sleeves, and toil and toil till he seemed to git 
a new plan made after Uncle Nate’s idees, as 
squatty and curous lookin’ as I ever see as I 
glanced at it in a cursory way. And he would 
work at that till some new man come round 
with some new idee and then he would (goin’ 
through with all the motions and acts I have 
depictered) make a new one. And so it went on 
till finally in the fullness of time Josiah produced 

203 


204 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

a dockument which he said wuz the finest plan 
ever drawed up in America. 

Sez he, “I have at last reached perfection. ,, 

“I spoze you’ll let me see it now it is finished,” 
I sez. 

“Yes,” sez he, “I’ve always been willin’ to 
give you all the chances I could of improvin’ and 
enlargin’ your mind, all that a woman’s mind is 
strong enough to bear. I am willin’, Samantha, 
that you should look at it and admire it, now it 
is too late for you to advocate any changes.” 

Sez I coldly, “If I am goin’ to see the plan, 
bring it on.” 

He laid it before me with a hauty linement 
and stood off a few steps to admire it. It wuz 
drawed up handsome, with little ornaments in 
blue and yeller ink runnin’ all round the porticos 
and piazzas, which wuz in red ink. But on a 
closer perusal I sez to him: 

“What room is this where the walls and ceilin’ 
are all ornamented off so?” 

“The settin’ room,” sez he. 

Sez I, “Where are the winders?” 

“The winders?” sez he, lookin’ closter at it. 

“Yes,” sez I, “as the ornaments are all 
fastened on now there hain’t no winders and 
no room for any.” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 205 

“By thunder !” sez he, the second time in 
my life that I ever hearn him use that wicked 
swear word. 

And I sez, “I should think you would be 
afraid to be so profane, you a deacon and a 
grandfather !” 

But he paid no attention to my remarks, 
but sez agin out loud and strong, “By thunder! 
I forgot the winders.” 

“You profane man you!” sez I, pinthT to 
another room, “what room is this?” 

Sez he in a lower and more mortified tone, 
“It is the parlor.” 

Sez I, “How be 'you goin’ to git out of this 
room if you wuz built into it? There hain’t 
no door nor no place for one. You couldn’t 
git out of the room unless you climbed up 
through the chimbly and emerged onto the ruff, 
and,” sez I, “there hain’t a sign of a stairway 
to git up into the chambers, nor no chamber 
doors.” 

But all the answer my pardner made wuz to 
snatch up the paper and tear it right through 
the middle, and sez he, “There, I hope you’re 
satisfied now! it is all your doin’s!” 

Sez I, “How, Josiah?” I spoke with calmness, 
for a long life passed by the side of a man had 


20 6 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


taught me this great truth, that every man 
from Adam to Josiah will blame a woman for 
every mistake and blunder they make, no matter 
of what name or nater, from bringin’ sin into 
the world, to bustin’ off a shirt button. 

So I sez with composure, “How did I do it, 
Josiah?” 

“Well,” sez he, “the day I finished that plan 
you had company, and you and Miss Gowdey 
and she that wuz Submit Tewksbury kep’ up 
such a confounded clackin’ that a man couldn’t 
hear himself think!” 

Sez I, “Josiah, you finished the plan the next 
day.” 

“Well,” sez he, “I kep’ thinkin’ of the clack. 
Now,” sez he, “I’m goin’ to build a house by 
rote and not by note. I will git me away 
from wimmen, and when I’m on the lot with 
the timber before me, my mind will work clear.” 

Sez I, “Do hear to me now; do git a good 
builder to lay out the plan, one that knows 
how.” 

“Well, I shan’t do no such thing!” 

Sez I, “Then do git a first rate carpenter!” 

“No, Samantha, I shan’t git any man to be 
bossin’ me round. I shall git some humble man 
that knows enough to drive a nail, to carryout my 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 207 

S' 

views and be guided by me. There is so much 
jealousy in every walk of life now, that when a 
man that shows originality and genius comes 
forth from the masses, there is immegiately a 
desire to keep him back and hide his talents.” 
Sez he, “I’m afraid of this sperit so I am gohT 
to git a man that can do what I tell him and 
ask no questions; in these conditions,” “sez he, 
“ I can swing right out and do justice to myself.” 

“Then you do have some few fears about 
your plans yourself?” 

Sez he, “Let me once git into a place where 
my mind can work, I’ll show what I can do, let 
me once git away from meddlin’ and clack.” 

But that night of his own accord (Pd had a 
uncommon good supper) he acted real affection- 
ate and more confidentialer than he had for 
weeks, an’ he sez, “There is one thing, Saman- 
tha, Pm bound to have, and that is a mullin’ 
winder.” 

“A what?” sez I. “A mullin winder; what is 
that?” 

“Why a winder made out of mullins,” sez he 
hautily. 

Sez I, “How do you make it? Mullin leaves 
are thick and the stalks tougher than fury, how 
do you make winders out of ’em?” 


208 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“That,” sez he proudly, “is the work of a 
architect to take stalks of the humble mullin 
and transfer it into a tall and stately winder.” 

Sez I, “I don’t believe it can be done. How 
would you go to work to do it?” 

Sez he, “It would be fur from me, Samantha, 
to muddle up a woman’s brains any more than 
they be muddled naturally, tryin’ to inform 
her how this is done. I only say there will be 
a mullin’ winder in the house.” 

Sez I, “Hain’t you goin’ to have a bay 
winder? ” 

“That depends on whether there will be room 
for the bay. But as to the ventilation, on that 
pint my plans are made. I believe a house 
should be ventilated to the bottom instead of 
the top. Air goes up instead of down, a house 
should be ventilated from the mop boards, I 
think some of havin’ em open like a trap door 
to let the air through. Sime Bentley sez have a 
row of holes bored right through the sides of 
the house to let in the air, and when you didn’t 
want to use ’em plug ’em up, when you want a 
little air take out one stopple, when you want 
a good deal take out a hull row of plugs. That’s 
a good idee,” sez Josiah, “but I convinced him 
that it lacked one important thing, the air 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 209 

didn’t come up from the bottom as I consider 
it necessary for health and perfect ventilation.” 

Sez I dryly, “ You might have the holes bored 
through into the suller!” My tone wuz as irony 
as a iron tea-kettle, but he didn’t perceive it. 

“That is a woman’s idee,” sez he, “rip up a 
breadth of carpet every time you want a little 
air, keep a man down on his knee jints the hull 
of the time tackin’ down carpets and ontackin’ 
’em. Nothin’ ever made a woman so happy as 
to see a man down on his marrer bones tackin’ 
down a carpet, unless it is seein’ him takin’ it 
up and luggin’ it outdoors, histin’ it up on a line 
and beatin’ it. No, my idee is the only right 
one, ventilate from the mop boards.” 

Well, true to his hauty resolution to not share 
his grand success and triumph with anybody 
he went the next day and hired a man by the 
name of Penstock. He had been a good car- 
penter in his day, but his brain had kinder 
softened, yet he could work quite fast, and sez 
Josiah: 

“He’s jest the man for me. He won’t be 
jealous, he will carry out my views and not 
steal my plans or my credit. There is a lumber 
dealer out to the Cape owin’ me for a horse, 
and I propose to buy of him and have the things 


2io SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


landed at Shadow Island.” Sez he, “I am a 
solid influential man, and they will send the 
boards and charge ’em to me, or send ’em 
C. O. W.” 

“ C . O. W. ?” sez I. “What do you mean by 
that?” 

“Oh,” sez he, “that’s a bizness phrase wim- 
men don’t understand, we men use it often.” 

“But what duz it mean? Most things mean 
sunthin’, at least they do in wimmen’s bizness.” 

“Well, I don’t want to muddle up your head 
with such things, Samantha, but if you must 
know, it means Collect All Winter, meanin’ that 
I can have till spring to pay it up.” 

“How do you spell all?” sez I. 

“Why o-w-1 of course.” 

And I sez, “With wimmen that spells owl, a 
bird that pertends to great wisdom but don’t 
know anything. Send your things C. O. W. by 
all means ! ” sez I wore out. “ Send ’em along and 
spell your all, o-w-1. 1 think it is a highly figura- 
tive and appropriate expression.” 

“Well, that is what I thought you would say 
as fur as you could see into it,” sez he hautily, 
and in the same axent he asked me if I had 
packed up a extra pair of socks for him. 


CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

In which Josiah and Serenus 
depart sarahuptishusly for 
' Coney Island and I start in 
pursuit 




CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

IN WHICH JOSIAH AND SERENUS DEPART 
SARAHUPTISHUSLY FOR CONEY ISLAND 
AND I START IN PURSUIT 

T HAT afternoon I see Josiah and Serenus 
leanin’ on the barnyard fence talkin’ 
dretful earnest, I spozed about the 
Plan. But when I went to put my milk pans in 
the sun I hearn the same old story Coney Island ! 
Dreamland! Luny! Bowery! etc., and I hurried 
into the house. When Josiah come in he sez, 
“I guess I’ll invite Serenus to go with me.” 

Sez I, “ Why should you invite him to go to 
Shadow Island?” 

“Oh he’s got such good judgment,” sez he. 

I felt dubersome, but bein’ so mellered in 
sperit by his consentin’ to build the cottage I 
didn’t stand out. And they started the next 
mornin’ at sunrise for Shadow Island as I spozed. 
Till the next day but one Miss Gowdey come 
over to borry a drawin’ of tea and she sez, 
“Serenus and Josiah are havin’ a gay time at 
213 


214 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Coney Island. I’ve jest had a card from 
Serenus.” 

You could have knocked me down with a 
pin feather. But so powerful is my mind, though 
it seemed to roll to and fro under my fore-top 
and my knees wobbled under me, I did up the 
tea with marble composure and a piece of paper, 
and she sot off with it, and then I fell into a 
rockin’ chair with almost frenzied forebodin’s. 
What! what wuz Josiah Allen doin’ in that place 
of folly and fashion? Could he keep his inno- 
cence amidst the awful temptations? I’d hearn 
there wuz places there where folks stood on 
their heads; wuz his brain strong enough to 
stand the jolt? 

Spozein’ them iron horses should kick him 
over? Spozein’ he got wrecked on the Immoral 
railway? Or went up on the Awful Tower and 
fell off? Spozein’ the elephants should tread 
on him? Or the boyconstructors or tigers git 
after him? Or he should go to the moon and 
git lost there and be obleeged to stay? Oh the 
wild fears that raced through my fore-top; 
mebby they wuzn’t reasonable but they gored 
me jest the same. What must I, what could 
I do? I couldn’t tell. 

But all of a sudden I thought of what Serenus 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 215 



Serenus and Josiah are havin’ a gay time at Coney 
Island. I’ve jest had a card from Serenus,’ sez Miss 
Gowdey. You could have knocked me down with a 
pin feather.’’ ^ee page 214) 



216 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


said about a woman twice my size dressed in 
gaudy red, forever takin’ after folks — What 
would Josiah do if she took after him? And no 
doubt she would, for looked at through the 
magnifying lens of Absence and Anxiety he 
looked passingly beautiful. As I thought of 
her I knowed what I would do. Sez I, “ I will 
go and tear him away and bring him back to 
duty and his mournin’ pardner.” 

But how could I go, wuz my next thought? 
How dast I venter there alone? I lacked both 
courage and a summer suit. But when did 
Samantha ever fail to lay holt of Duty’s apron 
strings when they dangled in front of her? 
Better go clothed in a righteous purpose and a 
old parmetty than in the richest new alpacky 
and a craven sperit. 

I knowed that if I had wanted a hobble 
skirt or a hayrem, or a hip cosset there wuz no 
time to git ’em. But Heaven knows I didn’t 
want ’em, treasurin’ as I did the power to walk 
and breathe. Suffice it to say the next mornin’ 
the risin’ sun gilded my brown straw bunnet 
and umbrell as I descended from the car at the 
Grand Central. 

Havin’ walked round and round, and through 
and through that immense depo, huffin’ it from 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 217 

as fur as from our house to Jonesville, gittin' 
lost time and agin, and bein' found and sot 
right by onlookers and bystanders, in the fullness 
of time I emerged out on't with a deep sithe of 
relief. 

Believin' as I do that the great beneficent 
Power that fills the ether about us, will bring us 
the help our sperit desires if we ask for it, it 
didn't surprise me that almost the first man I 
met after I left the press and turmoil of the 
throng, wuz Deacon Gansy, who moved from 
Jonesville and is now runnin' a provision store 
in New York. 

I inquired for my cousin Bildad Smith of 
Coney Island and told him I wuz goin’ there. 
Sez I, “You know Bildad’s wife is runnin' 
down." Which wuzn't a lie, but on the very 
edge on't, for what did I care for her enjoyment 
of poor health? And he said he wuz goin' 
down there in his delivery auto to carry 'em 
some fresh butter and eggs and he would take 
me. I thought it wuzn't a chance to refuse. 
Bildad runs a eatin' house on Coney Island. 

So I sot off with Deacon Gansy, and after 
goin' through Chaos and Destruction on lower 
New York streets, and Wiliamsburg bridge, 
and acrost it, for all the folks in New York and 


218 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


Brooklyn wuz there that day — and after pass- 
in’ through crowded, hustlin’, bustlin’ streets, 
we found ourselves anon on the broad beautiful 
Ocean Avenue smooth as glass and as broad 
as from our house to hern that was Submit 
Tewksbury’s and I guess wider. Bordered on 
each side with four rows of noble trees with 
paths between ’em. The deacon said there wuz 
over ’Ieven thousand trees along that avenue, 
and I didn’t dispute him. 

He got real talkative and kinder bragged on 
how much money he wuz makin’, said he’d 
bought a place up in Harlem, and sez he, “I’ve 
got another auto for pleasure drivin’.” 

Sez I, “Is it pleasure to drive a car through such 
crowded places as we’ve been through to-day?” 

And he said it wuz, if folks wouldn’t act 
mean. Sez he, “Last Sunday I took my wife 
out in the country and a old man in a buggy 
kep’ right in front of me and wouldn’t turn out, 
and I had to squeeze through between him and 
the ditch.” 

“Did you git through safe?” sez I. 

“Yes, I did, but I had to bend my mud 
guard right up agin his hoss’s side and scraped 
the skin raw, and raked its collar off.” 

“What did the old man say?” sez I. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 219 

“I never heard such language out of the 
mouth of man, and of course as a deacon I 
couldn't listen to such profanity, so I hurried 
right away." 

“Hadn't you ort to return the hoss collar. 
Deacon?" 

“Oh no, I couldn't* stop to listen to such 
wicked talk." 

That wuz jest like deacon Gansy; he thought 
he wuz awful religious but I always felt duber- 
some about it. 

But on we went through the matchless beauty 
of the drive. And anon we ketched a view of 
the blue tostin' waves of the Atlantic, the air 
jest as fresh and invigoratin' as when it blowed 
unto Columbuses weary fore-top when he dis- 
covered us. And like his dantless cry to his 
fearful pilot, so my soul echoed the same cry 
to my deprestin' fears: 

“Sail on, and on, and on," to the goal of our 
own desires. Our two quests wuz some differ- 
ent, he wuz seekin' a new continent and I an 
old Josiah. But I knowed the Atlantic breezes 
never blowed on two more determined and 
noble linements than hisen and mine. And I felt 
that we would have been real congenial if he 
hadn't died too soon, or I been born too late. 


I .1 
















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CHAPTER FOURTEEN 

The curious sights I seen an ’ the 
hair-raisin' episodes I under- 
went in my agonizin' search 
for my pardner 








CHAPTER FOURTEEN 

THE CURIOUS SIGHTS I SEEN AN ’ THE HAIR- 
RAISIN 9 EPISODES I UNDERWENT IN MY 
AGONIZIN’ SEARCH FOR MY PARDNER 

B ILDAD’S folks wuz glad to see me. They 
visited us jest before they moved there, 
so I felt free. But not one word did I 
say about my quest for Josiah. No, such is 
woman’s deathless devotion to the man she 
loves, I’d ruther face the imputation of frivolity 
and friskiness, and I spoze they think to this day 
I went to Coney Island out of curosity and 
Pleasure Huntin’, instead of the lofty motives 
that actuated me. I knowed Bildad’s wife wuz 
most bedrid so I would be free to conduct my 
search with no gossip or slurs onto Josiah. 

And another reason for goin’ there : I knowed 
the savin’ sperit of my pardner, and I thought 
he would ruther git a free meal than to keep 
his incognito incog. And sure enough Bildad’s 
first words wuz, “Why didn’t you come with 
Josiah yesterday? He wuz here to dinner.” 
“Where is he now?” sez I. 


223 


224 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Sez Bildad, “The last time I see him he wuz 
startin’ to take a trip to the Moon.” 

Oh what a shock that wuz, Josiah goin’ to 
the moon; and yet even as he spoke I felt a 
relief, knowin’ man’s fickle nater, that the only 
inhabitant I ever hearn on in the moon wuz an 
old man instead of a woman. For few indeed 
are the men that will stand without hitchin,’ 
and as for girl blinders, they won’t wear ’em, 
much as they need ’em from the cradle to the 
grave. 

“When wuz he layin’ out to return?” sez I 
in a tremblin’ voice. 

“Oh they take trips there every half hour.” 

Thinks I, to-day I go there myself, and Josiah 
Allen will come down to earth agin’ if I know 
myself. But not one word did I say to demean 
my pardner. Breakfast wuz ready and I sot 
down. But my emotions filled me up. I 
couldn’t seem to have any place for meat vit- 
tles, I couldn’t eat anything but some bread and 
butter and a glass of milk. A female settin’ by 
me sez, “You’re not goin’ to eat loose milk, 
are you?” 

“Loose!” sez I, “Why should milk be tied 
up? I never wuz afraid on’t.” 

“I mean milk that hain’t bottled,” sez she. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 225 

“I wouldn’t eat loose milk for the world.” 
And she being enthusiastick gin a long eulogy 
of the good men who wuz tryin’ to save poor 
babies by givin’ ’em pure milk, and she talked 
bitter about the men who opposed the idee for 
fear it would pauperize the babies. 

I And I told her it wouldn’t make much differ- 
ence with the babies pizened by microby milk 
whether they died pauperized or onpauperized. 
j Well, I didn’t know whether the milk wuz 
loose or tight, but I eat it rapidly, so’s to begin 
my hunt. I’d slep’ some on the cars, and when 
I had changed my parmetty waist for a brown 
gingham shirt waist, and washed my face, and 
brushed back my hair, I wuz ready to start. 
The room they gin me wuz so small I thought I 
would have to go out in the hall to change my 
mind. But I did manage to change my waist. 
Bildad’s old colored woman wuz singin’ as she 
made the bed in the next room that old him 
I Pull for the Shore.” She sung: 

“ Pull for the shore, brother, 

Pull for the shore, 

Heed not the rollin’ pins, 

Bend to the oar — 

Leave the poor old straddled wreck 
And pull for the shore.” 


226 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


She didn’t git the words right, but her voice 
wuz melogious, and as I listened my soul paro- 
died the words to suit my needs. Yes, I felt 
that I must “bend to the oar” of my purpose, 
I must not “heed the rollin’ waves” of weari- 
ness and anxiety, must leave “the poor old 
stranded wreck” of my domestic happiness and 
security and pull for Josiah. 

Luny Park wuz only a few steps from Bildad’s 
and anon I stood before what seemed to be a 
great city, gorgeous below and way up above the 
thronged streets and mountains and flower- 
decked declivities, endless white towers riz^up 
as if callin’ attention to ’em. And I didn’t 
know but the place had been lied about, and I 
asked a bystander if any of ’em wuz meetin’ 
house steeples. 

He laughed in derision at me, and I passed on 
and come to a lot of girls dressed up in red, and 
settin’ in chariots like them old Roman females 
used to go to war in. 1 asked one on ’em if 
she wuz layin’ out to go to Mexico, and she 
replied “Ten cents,” and shoved out a piece of 
paper to me. 

I see she wuz luny as the park, but didn’t 
argy, and passed on furder when a man out of 
a row of great tall men dressed in red, took the 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 227 



/ stood before what seemed to be a great city. Endless 


white towers riz up as if callin'* attention to 'em” 

(See page 226) 



228 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


piece of paper from me. He took it right out 
of my hand, and if there is anything wrong 
goin’ on between him and the girl that gin it to 
me I hain’t to blame, and want it understood 
that I hain’t. 

Anon I see a dancin’ pavilion big enough for 
all the folks in Jonesville and Zoar to dance in 
at one time. But I never thought of dancin’ 
or ,two-steppin’ myself, though the music wuz 
enticin’ to them easy enticed. But knowin’ 
the infinite variety of fads my pardner had 
indulged in, I cast some searchin’ glances at the 
dancers and two-steppers as I went past, but to 
my relief I see that he wuz notnmong ’em. 

On the left side, as I strolled along, I see a big 
butcher shop, with hull sides of beef, mutton, 
pork, hams, chickens, etc., hangin’ up. And a 
long counter, piled full of invitin’ lookin’ pieces • 
ready to roast or brile. The butcher in a clean 
white apron stood behind the counter. Every- 
thing looked good and clean, but I’d hearn of 
city meat givin’ toe main pizen, and knowin’ 
Josiah’s fondness for meat vittles — I asked 
anxiously, “Are you sure the critters this 
meat come from hadn’t got cow consumption, 
or hog cholera ? ” 

A friendly female standin’ by said, “Every 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 229 

mite of that is candy.” And she offered me a 
piece of sassidge, and asked which I preferred, 
wintergreen or peppermint. 

I answered mekanically that I seasoned my 
sassidge with sage and pepper. Agin she 
affirmed that everything in the butcher shop 
wuz candy. 

I didn’t argy, but merely said, “It is enough 
to deceive the very electioneers.” 

Sez she, “I spoze you mean politicians, and 
that’s so, if they’re deceived anyone can be.” 

I wuz talkin’ Bible but didn’t explain, and 
walked onwards. The F. F. (friendly female) 
come too, and pretty soon we .come to what 
they called a new-matic tube and the F. F. 
explained it to me, sez she, “You are shet into 
a car made of iron and it runs with a deafenin’ 
roar into a dark tunnel, and all to once the car 
slides down twenty feet and dashes through 
another dark tunnel and then comes out where 
you went in. If it wuzn’t for the dretful noise,” 
sez she, “it would seem like a grave. Don’t 
you want to try it?” 

“No, mom,” sez I, “I shan’t git into any 
coffin’ and grave till my time comes.” 

“Well,” sez she, “I’m goin’ into the Scenic 
Railway, won’t you come too?” And not 


230 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

wantin’ to act hauty and high-headed I bought a 
ticket and went in with her. It looked some 
like a great high rock with a cavern hollered out, 
and a huge devil’s head with a waterfall flowin’ 
out of its mouth. I knowed the devil couldn’t 
hurt us as long as he kep’ his mouth full of water. 
So we got on a car with about ten other folks 
and they locked us in and we went right up I 
calculated about half a mild, though I didn’t 
measure, and then we sailed off and first I knew 
there wuz Havana Harbor, war ships, forts, 
etc., and the city. But we didn’t stop for 
refreshments, for all of a sudden down we went j 
probably half a mild right straight down. 1 1 
ketched holt of the F. F. and she ketched holt I 
of me. When all to once we wuz to the North j 
Pole, ice, snow drifts, white bears, etc., sur- 
rounded us and a sign with Dr. Cook on it. 

The F. F. riz up and yelled to the conductor 
to stop. Sez she, “I want to get out to the Pole, 

I want to discover it ! I want to git my name in j 
the papers! I want to be talked about!” sez 
she. 

We wuz goin’ up a tremengous mountain, 
and he sez, “Set down or you will git your name 
in the death notices.” 

Whether he laid out to kill her I don’t know, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 231 

for she set down. And jest then somebody 
yells, “Here we go down to the bottomless pit.” 

I sez to the F. F., “I can’t believe it! ’Tain’t 
so! It must be Pugatory!” 


But there wuz the sign, “Hell.” 



“ On we went under the waterfall, up, up, down, down, 


and finally shot out jest where we got in .” 

(See page 232) 

“Oh!” I groaned out in agony, “what have I 
ever done to merit this! Have I ever been 
mean enough to Josiah?” But there they wuz, 
fiery pits, big devils and little ones with pitch- 
forks and darts, etc. Only one thought assuaged 
my torment, my Josiah wuzn’t there. But in a 


232 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

minute up we went, up — up - — and come out 
to an open place, where I see what I thought 
wuz Heaven, but it wuz only Coney Island, 
but after what Fd been through even that 
worldly frivolous spot looked heavenly to me. 
On we went under the waterfall, up, up, down, 
down, through hot countries and cold, and 
finally shot out jest where we got in. 


CHAPTER FIFTEEN 


I visit the Moon } the IVitchin 9 
fVaves, Open Air Circus, ad- 
vise, the monkeys , make the 
male statute laugh , but do not 
find Josiah 



CHAPTER FIFTEEN 


I VISIT THE MOON , THE WITCHIN ’ WAVES, 
OPEN AIR CIRCUS , ADVISE THE MON- 
KEYS, MAKE THE MALE STATUTE LAUGH, 
BUT DO NOT FIND JOSIAH 

T HE Witching Waves is a track that 
moves up and down in waves. Scien- 
tific folks say that it is a mechanical 
wonder. I couldn’t see how it wuz done. I 
couldn’t make one to save my life. Folks git 
into little automobiles and steer ’em themselves 
and first they know some unseen power under 
’em lifts the track right up, and of course their 
car goes too with it. Then anon the track will 
go way down, and they with it, mebby meetin’ 
another car down there, and they will be all 
mixed up, but first they know the track will 
hist up agin under ’em and they have to foller 
it up agin. Dretful curious spot, well called 
Witching Waves. But every owner of an auto 
sees curious times, and feels witchin’ waves, 
yes indeed! 

Why, I hearn about a little girl who happened 

235 


236 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

to hear a man swearin’ dretfully at sunthin 
and he apoligized. 

“Oh,” sez she, “I’m used to it, my papa owns 
a car.” But ’tain’t necessary to swear at ’em, 
it don’t do no good, besides, the wickedness 
on’t. 



The Witching Waves 

“ Folks get into little automobiles and 
steer ’em themselves ” ( See page 233) 


But jest as I wuz moralizin’ .on this, I hearn a 
bystander talkin’ about the Trip to the Moon. 
And rememberin’ what Bildad said I sot out for 
the air-ship that took folks there. To tell the 
truth, I’d always hankered to see what wuz on 
the moon. Not to see that old man of the moon 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 237 

(no, Josiah wuz my choice); but I always did 
want to know what wuz on the other planets, 
and though I’m most ashamed to say it, after 
all my talk agin Coney Island, yet if it hadn’t 
been for the kankerin’ worm of anxiety knawin’ 
at my vitals, I should have enjoyed myself 
first rate as the air-ship sailed off, with a stately 
motion, for the moon. 

I had watched the passengers with a eagle 
vision but no Josiah embarked, but the air- 
ship sailed off, the earth receeded, we wuz in 
the clouds, anon we passed through a big thunder 
storm, I wuz almost lost in thought watchin’ 
sea and ocean when the captain called out: 

“The Moon! the Moon!” 

And we alighted and got off, I a-thinkin’ what 
and who wuz I to see in thet place I’d always 
hankered for. Strange shapes indeed, foreign to 
our earth, birds, dragons, animals of most weird 
shape. Anon I see a little figger, queer-lookin’ 
as you might spoze. I accosted the little Moony, 
my first words bein’ not a question of deep 
historical research, you would expect a woman 
with my noble brain would ask, about that 
onexplored country. No, my head didn’t speak, 
it wuz my heart, that gushed forth in a agonized 
inquiry. 


238 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“Have you seen Josiah? Have you seen my 
beloved pardner? Is he in the moon?” 

His words in reply wuz in moon language, 
nothin’ I ever hearn in Jonesville or Zoar, and 
anon he begun to sing in that moony language, 
and I see I wuz wastin’ time, I must conduct my 
quest myself. 

But oh, the seens I passed through! And oh, 
the queer moon landscapes! the queer moony 
animals and moon creeters I passed! But all 
in vain, no Josiah blessed my longin’ vision. 
And with my brain turnin’ over and my heart 
achin’, I agin entered the air-ship and returned 
to terry cotta; or mebby I hain’t got it right 
in my agitation, mebby I’d ort to say visey 
versey. ’Tennyrate I found myself out in Luny 
Park agin. 

Well, what wuz to be my next move? Fur 
up a steep hite I see water pourin’ down a deep 
abyss and a boat full of men and wimmen set 
out from the highest peak, shot down the decliv- 
ity like lightnin’ and dashed ’way out in the 
water on the other side of the bridge where I 
wuz standin’; but my idol wuz not among ’em. 

I see a great checker-board raised up, so big 
it wuz played with human creeters instead of 
beans or kernels of corn. But no Josiah wuz 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 239 



A boat full of men and women set out from the highest 
peak, shot down the declivity like lightnin ’ and dashed 
7 way out on the other side of the bridge.” 

(See page 238) 



2 4 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

there movin’ and jumpin’, or bein’ jumped as 
the case might be. 

On one side riz up a high mountain full of 
green shrubs and flowers, and windin’ round 
and round from the bottom clear to the top, 
went cars filled with men and wimmen, boys 
and girls, up, up, down, down, as fur as from 
our house to Betsy Bobbet Slimpsey’s; but no 
Josiah wuz among the winders up or the winders 
down. 

Even as I looked, a elephant passed me with 
stately tread, bearin’ on his richly ornamented 
back a small-sized man with a bald head; but 
it wuzn’t Josiah’s baldness or his small, meachin’ 
figger. 

Two high tiers of balconies stretched along 
on one side, ornamented off with white pillows 
and posies where folks could set and eat their 
good meals, and enjoy the music and the never 
ceasing gayety. Beneath ’em, above ’em and 
beyond ’em, as fur as they could see, towers, 
pinnacles, battlements, steeples, palms, flowers, 
color, light, music, and the endless, endless pro- 
cession of pleasure hunters passin’ below. Rich 
men, poor men, wimmen in satin and serge, 
shiffon and calico, babies, boys and girls. 

I made the calculation that about a million 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 241 

folks could be accommodated on them balconies. 
I may have got one or two too many; I didn’t 
stop to count. 

Lower down run a low, ornamented ruff, 
coverin’ hundreds of little tables where folks 
could set and git soft drinks and hard. The 
hard drink’s true to its name everyway. For 
when did the Whiskey Demon ever turn out 
anything but hard, from the time it exhilerates 
the consumer till it drives him away from love, 
home, friends, happiness, and at last gives him 
a final hard push, sendin’ him into a onlamented 
grave ! 

But truly no one has time to moralize or 
eppisode to any extent amidst the music, 
laughter and gay voices, the endless procession 
passin’ by. To most a seen of happiness, but 
to me they seemed like shadders; the Reality 
of life, my beloved pardner, wuz lost, lost to me. 
A pleasant lookin’ female standin’ by, seein’ 
the emotion in my face, and wantin’ to cheer 
me up, I spoze, sez: 

“Have you tried the Loop de Loop?” 

I answered with a sad dignity, “Yes, I’ve 
done considerable tattin’ in my day.” 

“Mebby you’d like to try the Bump de 
Bump.” 


242 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

I sez, “No, IVe enjoyed enough of that 
since cornin’ in here.” 

Sez she, “Have you seen the monkeys keepin’ 
house?” 

“No,” sez I, “but I will.” And sure enough, 
there wuz a big family of monkeys housekeeping. 
Some eatin’ dinner in the dining room, some 
doin’ different kinds of housework, sweepin’, 
operatin’ the dumb waiter, payin’ bills, etc. 
Some in the settin’ room readin’ the newspaper. 
And there is a band of sixty monkey musicians. 
And I hearn they’re learnin’ bridge whist; I 
wuz sorry to hear that, and I sez to the oldest 
and wisest lookin’ monkey: 

“You’ll sup sorrow if you go into bridge 
whist, gamblin’ and wastin’ good daylight in 
civilized sports, when you might be hangin’ 
from tree tops, and chasin’ each other ’round 
stumps, in a honest, oncivilized way. If you 
don’t look out your ladies will foller the exam- 
ple of the Four Hundred and be thinkin’ of a 
divorce and big alimony next.” 

He looked impressed by my noble anxiety on 
their behaff, but didn’t say nothin’. But mebby 
he’ll hear to me. A little boy standin’ by sez, 
“Ma, Jimmy Bates sez that he and I and every- 
body descended from monkeys — did I, ma?” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 243 

“I don’t know/’ sez she, “I never knew much 
about your father’s family.” 

I didn’t stay long at the Open Air Circus, 
though it wuz a big place and sights goin’ on 
there; bare-backed riders, Japanese jugglers 
and acrobats, tight-rope walkers, elephants and 
camels with folks on their backs, with Arabians 
and East Indians in their native costumes takin’ 
care of ’em. 

Not fur off I see a male statute; lots of folks 
wuz congregated in front of it, and I went up 
too, and I sez to a female bystander, “I always 
did love to see statutes. But this one’s linement 
is humblier than most on ’em.” 

When if you’ll believe it it turned round and 
sez, “ Thank you, mom, for the compliment.” 
It acted mad. 

Another man stood like a statute, and the 
woman I had spoke to sez, “You can git a 
dollar if you can make that man laugh.” 

And I sez, “I can.” 

Sez she, “I don’t believe it; I’ve read to him 
lots of the humorous stories in the late mag- 
azines, and he looked fairly gloomy when I got 
done.” 

And I sez, “I don’t wonder at that, I do my- 
self. They’re awful deprestin’.” 


244 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

And she sez, “I’ve held up in front of him 
the funny colored supplements to the Sunday 
papers, and I thought he’d cry.” 

“Well,” sez I, “IVe pretty nigh shed tears 
over ’em myself, they made me so onhappy.” 

“How be you goin’ to make him laugh?” 
sez she. 

“You watch me and see,” sez I. So I went 
up to him and got his eye and told him over a 
lot of laws our male statesmen have made, and 
are makin’. License laws of different kinds, 
but all black as a coal. How a little girl of 
twelve or fourteen, pronounced legally incapable 
of buyin’ or sellin’ a sheep or a hen, can legally 
sell her virtue and ruin her life. How pizen is 
licensed by law to make men break the law, and 
then they are punished and hung by the law for 
doin’ what the law expected they would do. 

How a woman can protect her dog by payin’ 
a dollar, but can’t protect her boy with her hull 
property and her heart’s blood. How mothers 
are importuned by male statesmen to bring big 
families into a world full of temptation and ruin, 
but have no legal rights to protect them from 
the black dangers licensed by these law-makers. 

His face looked so queer, I worried some 
thinkiil’ I should git him to cryin’ instead of 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 245 

laughin’; but I hurried and told him how our 
statesmen would flare up now and then and 
turribly threaten the Mormon who keeps on 
marryin’ some new wives every little while, and 
then elect him to Congress, and sculp his head 
on our warship to show foreign nations that 
America approves of such doin’s. And I told 
him how girls and boys, hardly out of pantalettes 
and knee breeches, could git married in five 
minutes, but have to spend months and money 
to break the ties so easily made and prove they 
are morally fit to care for the children born of 
that careless five minute ceremony. 

His linement looked scornful at the idee. And 
I told him how they tax wimmen without repre- 
sentation, and then spend millions rasin’ statutes 
to our forefathers for fightin’ agin the same 
thing. And how statesmen trust wimmen with 
their happiness, their lives and their honor, 
but deny ’em the rights they give to wicked men, 
degenerates, and men whose heads’ are so soft a 
fly will slump in if it lights on ’em. To such 
men (as well as better ones) they give the 
right to govern the wimmen they love, their 
good inteligent wives and mothers, rule ’em 
through life, and award punishment and death 


2 46 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“And such men,” sez I, “say wimmen don’t 
know enough to vote.” 

The very idee wuz so weak and inconsistent 
that it made the man statute hysterical, and he 
bust out into a peal of derisive laughter, and I 
took my dollar and walked off, though I knowed 
enough could be said on this subject to make 
a stun statute hystericky. I lay out to send the 
dollar to the W. C. T. U. 

Jest after this I met Bildad, and he sez, “I 
jest see Josiah; he wuz in Steeple Chase Park, 
talkin’ with some girls there.” 

I didn’t wait to ask what they wuz talkin’ 
about, I hoped it wuz religion, but felt duber- 
some, and hurried there fast as I could. I 
crossed the automobile track where crowded 
cars wuz runnin’ all the while round and round, 
past the rows of big high headed mettlesome 
hosses (this is a pun; they wuz made of metal). 

But I passed ’em all as if they wuzn’t there; 
for my mind wuz all took up with the thought, 
should I find my pardner there talkin’ with them 
girls, and if so, what would be the subject of 
their conversation? Josiah is sound; but the 
best of men have weak spots in their armor 
which the glance of a bright eye will oft-times 
pierce through and do damage. So, to protect 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 247 

my dear pardner from danger, I pressed forward 
and wuz let in by a good-lookin’ man for twenty- 
five cents, tie gin me a paper locket and told 
me to be sure and not lose, it It had a man’s 
face on it, and I d’no but he thought I would 
treasure it on account of that. 

I didn’t argy with him, but jest looked him 
coldly in the face and sez, “I am no such a 
woman, I have got a pardner of my own, 
though I can’t put my hand on him this minute.” 
And I passed on. 



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CHAPTER SIXTEEN 

The wonderful and mysterious 
sights I saw in Steeple Chase 
Park, and my search there for 
my pardner 




CHAPTER SIXTEEN 

THE WONDERFUL AND MYSTERIOUS SIGHTS 
I SAW IN STEEPLE CHASE PARK , AND 
MY SEARCH THERE FOR MY PARDNER 

TEEPLE CHASE PARK is most as big 



as Luny Park, but is mostly one huge 


V-^ buildin’ covered with glass, and every 
thing on earth or above, or under the earth, is 
goin’ on there, acres and acres of amusements 
(so-called) in one glass house. 

As I went in, I see a immense mirror turnin' 
round and round seemin’ly invitin’ folks to look. 
But as I glanced in, I tell the truth when I say, 
I wuzn’t much bigger round than a match, and 
the thinness made me look as tall as three 
on me. 

“Oh,” sez I, “has grief wore my flesh away 
like this? If it keeps on I shan’t dast to take 
lemonade, for fear I shall fall into the straw 
and be drowned.” 

A bystander sez, “Look agin, mom!” 

I did and I wuzn’t more’n two fingers high, 
and wide as our barn door. 


252 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

I most shrieked and sez to myself, “It has 
come onto me at last, grief and such doin’s as 
I’ve seen here, has made me crazy as a loon.” 
And I started away almost on a run. 

All of a sudden the floor under me which 
looked solid as my kitchen floor begun to 
move back and forth with me and sidewa3 r s> 
and back, to and fro, fro and to, and I goin’ with 
it, one foot goin’ one way, and the other foot 
goin’ somewhere else; but by a hurculaneum 
effort I kep’ my equilebrium upright, and made 
out to git on solid floorin’. But a high-headed 
female in a hobble skirt, the hobbles hamperin 
her, fell prostrate. I felt so shook up and wob- 
blin’ myself, I thought a little Scripter would 
stiddy me, and I sez, “ Sinners stand on slippery 
places.” 

“I see they do!” she snapped out, lookin’ at 
me; “but I can’t!” 

I sez to myself as I turned away, “I’ll bet she 
meant me.” But bein’ tuckered out, I sot 
down on a reliable-lookin’ stool, the high-headed 
woman takin’ another one by my side — there 
wuz a hull row of folks settin’ on ’em — when, 
all of a sudden, I d’no how it wuz done or why, 
but them stools all sunk right down to the floor 
bearin’ us with ’em onwillin’ly. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 253 

I scrambled to my feet quick as I could, and 
as I riz up I see right in front on me the gigan- 
tick, shameless female Bildad had as good as 
told me Josiah had been flirtin’ with. I knowed 
her to once, the gaudy, flashin’ lookin’ creeter, 
bigger than three wimmen ort to be; she wuz 
ten feet high if she wuz a inch. As she come up 
to me with mincin’ steps, I sez to her in skathin’ 
axents : 

“What have you done with my innocent 
pardner? Where is Josiah Allen? Open your 
guilty breast and confess.” And now I’m tell- 
in’ the livin’ truth, as she towered up in front 
on me, her breast did open and a man’s face 
looked out on me. My brain tottled, but 
righted itself with relief, for it wuz not Josiah; 
it wuz probable some other woman’s husband. 
But I sez to myself, let every woman take care 
of her own husband if she can; it hain’t my 
funeral. 

And I hurried off till I come out into a kinder 
open place with some good stiddy chairs to set 
down on, and some green willers hangin’ down 
their verdant boughs over some posy beds. 
Nothin’ made up about ’em. Oh how good it 
looked to me to see sunthin’ that God had made, 
and man hadn’t dickered with and manufac- 


SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


254 





1 m ieilin the livin truth , us she towered up in front on 
me, her breast opened and a man's face looked out on 
mt ~' (See page 255) 



I' 

AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 255 

tured to seem different from what it wuz. 
Thinks I , if I should take hold of one of these 
feathery green wilier sprays it wouldn’t turn 
into a serpent or try to trip me up, or wobble 
me down. They looked beautiful to me, and 
beyond ’em I could see the Ocean, another and 
fur greater reality, real as life, or death, or taxes, 
or anything else we can’t escape from. 

Settin’ there lookin’ off on them mighty 
everlastin’ waves, forever flowin’ back and 
forth, forth and back, the world of the flimsy 
and the false seemed to pass away and the Real 
more nigh to me than it did in the painted land 
of shams and onreality I had been passin’ 
through. And as I meditated on the disgrace- 
ful sight I had seen — that gaudy, guilty creeter 
with a man concealed in her breast. For if it 
wuzn’t a guilty secret, why wuz the door shet 
and fastened tight, till the searchlight of a 
woman’s indignant eyes brought him to light? 

Thinkin’ it over calmly and bein’ reasonable 
and just, my feelin’s over that female kinder 
softened down, and I sez to myself, what if 
there wuz a open winder or door into all our 
hearts, for outsiders to look in, what would 
they see? Curious sights, homely ones and 
beautiful, happy ones and sorrowful, and some 


256 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

kinder betwixt and between. Sacred spots that 
the nearest ones never got a glimpse on. Eyes 
that look acrost the coffee pot at you every 
mornin’ never ketched sight on ’em, nor the 
ones that walk up and down in them hidden 
gardens. Some with veiled faces mebby, some 
with reproachful' orbs, some white and still, 
some pert and sassy. 

Nothin’ wicked, most likely; nothin’ the law 
could touch you for; but most probable it 
might make trouble if them affectionate eyes 
opposite could behold ’em, for where love is 
there is jealousy, and a lovin’ woman will be 
jealous of a shadder or a scare-crow. It is 
nateral nater and can’t be helped. But if she 
stopped to think on’t, she herself has her hid- 
away nooks in her heart, dark or pleasant land- 
scapes, full of them, you never ketch a glimpse 
on do the best you can. And jealous curosity 
goes deep. What would Josiah see through 
my heart’s open door? What would I see in 
hisen? It most skairs me to think on’t. No, 
it hain’t best to have open doors into .hearts. 
Lots of times it would be resky; not wrong, 
you know, but jest resky. 

Thus I sot and eppisoded, lookin’ off onto the 
melancholy ocean, listenin’ to her deep sithes. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 257 

when onbid come the agonizin’ thought, “Had 
Josiah Allen backslid so fur and been so full of 
remorse and despair, that his small delicate 
brain had turned over with him, and he had 
throwed himself into the arms of the melancholy 
Ocean? Wuz her deep, mournful sithes pre- 
parin’ me for the heart-breakin’ sorrow? I 
couldn’t abear the thought, and I riz up and 
walked away. As I did so a bystander sez, 
“Have you been up on the Awful Tower?” 

“No,” sez I, “I’ve been through awful things, 
enough, accidental like, without layin’ plans 
and climbin’ up on ’em.” But Hope will always 
hunch Anxiety out of her high chair in your head 
and stand up on it. I thought I would go up- 
stairs into another part of the buildin’ and 
mebby I might ketch a glimpse of my pardner 
in the dense crowd below. 

And if you’ll believe it, as I wuz walkin’ up- 
stairs as peaceful as our old brindle cow goin’ 
up the south hill paster, my skirts begun to 
billow out till they got as big as a hogsit. I 
didn’t care about its bein’ fashion to not bulge 
out round the bottom of your skirts but hobble 
in ; but I see the folks below wuz laughin’ at me, 
and it madded me some when I hadn’t done a 
thing, only jest walk upstairs peaceable. And 


2 58 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

I don’t know to this day what made my clothes 
billow out so. 

But I went on and acrost to a balcony, and 
after I went in, a gate snapped shet behind me 
and I couldn’t git back. And when I got to 
the other side there wuzn’t any steps, and if I 
got down at all I had to slide down. I didn’t 
like to make the venter, but had to, so I tried 
to forgit my specs and gray hair and fancy I 
wuz ten years old, in a pig-tail braid, and panta- 
lettes tied on with my stockin’s, and sot off. 
As I went down with lightnin’ speed I hadn’t 
time to think much, but I ricollect this thought 
come into my harassed brain: 

Be pardners worth all the trouble I’m havin’ 
and the dretful experiences I’m goin’ through? 
Wouldn’t it been better to let him go his length, 
than to suffer what I’m sufferin’? I reached 
the floor with such a jolt that my mind didn’t 
answer the question; it didn’t have time. 

All to once, another wind sprung up from 
nowhere seemin’ly, and tried its best to blow off 
my bunnet. But thank Heaven, my good 
green braize veil tied round it with strong lute- 
string ribbon, held it on, and I see I still had 
holt of my trusty cotton umbrell, though the 
wind had blowed it open, but I shet it and 




AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 259 



“As I went down with lightnin 9 speed I had'nt time to 


think much” ( See page 258) 

grasped it firmly, thinkin’ it wuz my only pro- 
tector and safeguard now Josiah wuz lost, and 
I hastened away from that crazy spot. 

As I passed on I see a hull lot of long ropes 
danglin’ down. On top of ’em wuz a trolley, 
and folks would hang onto the handle and slide 
hundreds of feet through the air. But I didn’t 
venter. Disinclination and rumatiz both made 
me waive off overtures to try it. 


26 o SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


Pretty soon I come to a huge turn-table, big 
as our barn floor. It wuz still and harmless 
lookin’ when I first see it, and a lot of folks got 
onto it, thinkin’ I spoze it looked so shiny and 
good they’d like to patronize it. But pretty 
soon it begun to move, and then to turn faster and 
faster till the folks couldn’t keep their seats and 
one by one they wuz throwed off, and went down 
through a hole in the floor I know not where. 

As I see ’em disappear one by one in the 
depths below, thinks I, is that where Josiah 
Allen has disappeared to? Who knows but he 
is moulderin’ in some underground dungeon, 
mournin’ and pinin’ for me and his native land. 
Of course Reason told me that he couldn’t 
moulder much in two days, but I wuz too much 
wrought up to listen to Reason, and as I see 
’em slide down and disappear, onbeknown to 
myself I spoke out loud and sez: 

“Can it be that Josiah is incarcerated in 
some dungeon below? If he is, I will find and 
release him or perish with him.” 

A woman who looked as if she belonged there, 
hearn me and sez, “Who is Josiah?” “My 
pardner,” sez I, and I continued, “You have a 
kind face, mom ; have you seen him ? Have you 
seen Josiah Allen?” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 261 



“ Pretty soon it begun to move and one by one they wuz 
tkrowed off and went down I know not where.” 

(See page 260) 


262 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


“Describe him,” sez she, “there wuz a man 
here just now hunting for some woman.” 

“Oh, he is very beautiful!” 

“Young?” sez she. 

“Well, no; about my age or a little older.” 

“Light complexion? Dark hair and eyes? 
Stylish dressed?” 

“No, wrinkled complexion, bald, and what 
few hairs he’s got, gray.” 

She smiled ; she couldn’t see the beauty Love 
had gilded his image with. 

Sez I, “If he’s incarcerated in some dungeon 
below, I too will mount the turn-table of tor- 
ture, and share his fate or perish on the turn 
table.” 

Sez she, “There is no dungeons below; the ; 
folks come out into a vast place as big as this. ! 
There is just as much to see down there as there 
is here, just as many people and just as much i 
amusement.” 

“Amusement!” sez I in a holler voice. 

After I left her, I see a whisk broom hangin’ \ 
up in a handy place, and it had a printed liebill 
on it, “This whisk broom free.” And as my 
parmetty dress had got kinder dusty a slidin’ 
and wobblin’ as I had slode and wobbled, I 
went to brush off my skirt with it, when all 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 263 

of a sudden somebody or sunthin’ gin me a 
stunnin’ blow right in my arm that held the 
brush. I dropped it without waitin’ to argy 
the matter, and I don’t know to this day who 
or what struck me and what it wuz for. But 
my conscience wuz clear; I hadn’t done 
nothin’. 

I santered on and entered an enclosure 
seemin’ly made of innocent lookin’ fence rails. 
I wuz kinder attracted to it, for it looked some 
like the rail fence round our gooseberry bushes. 
But for the lands sake! it wuzn’t like any fence 
in Jonesville or Zoar, for though it looked 
innocent, it shet me in tight and I couldn’t git 
out. 

I wandered round and round, and out and in, 
and it wuz a good half hour before I got out, 
and I d’no but I’d have been there to this day, 
if a man hadn’t come and opened a gate and 
let me out. Only one thought kep’ up my 
courage in my fruitless wanderings. It wuz 
all done in plain sight of everybody, and I could 
see for myself that Josiah wuzn’t kep’ there in 
captivity. 

There wuz a tall pole in the middle of the 
Amaze, as they call it (well named, for it is 
truly amazin’), and the liebill on that pole read,, 


264 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“ Climb the pole and ring the bell on it, and we 
will give you a prize.” 

I didn’t try to climb that pole, and wouldn’t 
if I had been a athleet. How did I know but it 
would turn into a writhin’ serpent, and writhe 
with me? No, I thought I wouldn’t take 
another resk in that dredful spot. And I wuz 
glad I thought so, for jest a little ways off, some 
honest, easy lookin’ benches stood invitin’ the 
weary passer-by to set down and rest and 
recooperate. And right there before my eyes 
some good lookin’ folks sot down on ’em trust- 
in’ly, and the hull bench fell over back with ’em 
and then riz up agin, they failin’ and risin’ 
with it. 

I hastened away and thought I would go up 
into the second story agin and mebby ketch 
sight of my pardner, for the crowd had increased. 
And as I stood there skannin’ the immense 
crowd below to try to ketch a glimpse of my 
lawful pardner, all to once I see the folks below 
wuz laughin’ at me. I felt to see if my braize 
veil hung down straight and graceful, and my 
front hair wuz all right, and my cameo pin fas- 
tened. But nothin’ wuz amiss, and I wondered 
what could it be. The balcony wuz divided off 
into little spaces, five or six feet square, and I 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 265 

stood in one, innocent as a lamb (or mebby it 
would be more appropriate to say a sheep), and 
leanin’ on the railin’, and one sassy boy called 
out: 

“ Where wuz you ketched? Are you tame? 
Wuz you ketched on the Desert of Sara? Did 
Teddy ketch you for the Government ?” and I 
never knowed till I got down what they wuz 
laughin’ at. 

The little boxes in the balcony wuz painted 
on the outside to represent animal cages. On 
the one where I had been wuz painted the 
sign Drumedary. Josiah Allen’s wife took for 
a drumedary — The idee! 

But the view I got of the crowd below wuz 
impressive, and though it seemed to me that 
everybody in New York and Brooklyn and the 
adjacent villages and country, wuz all there a 
Steeple Chasin’, yet I knowed there wuz jest 
as many dreamin’ in Dreamland and bein’ luny 
in Luny Park. And Surf Avenue wuz full, 
and what they called the Bowery of Coney 
Island, and all the amusement places along the 
shore. And all on ’em on the move, jostlin’ 
and bein’ jostled, foolin’ and bein’ fooled, laugh- 
in’ and bein’ laughed at. 

Why, I wuz told and believe, that sometimes 


266 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


a million folks go to Coney Island on a holi- 
day. And I wuz knowin’ myself to over three 
thousand orphan children goin’ there at one 
time to spend a happy day, the treat bein’ 
gin ’em by some big-hearted men. Plenty to 
eat and drink, and a hull day of enjoyment, 
candy, pop corn, circus, etc., bright day, happy 
hearts, how that day will stand out aginst the 
dull gray background of their lives ! And them 
men ort to hug themselves thinkin’ the thought, 
over three thousand happinesses wuz set down 
to their credit in the books of the Recordin’ 
Angel. And I sez to myself, “ Samantha, you 
ort to speak well of anything that so brightens 
the lives of the children of the great city.” 

As I went into Dreamland Park, it seemed 
agin as if all the folks in the city wuz there in 
the immense inner court, surrounded by amuse- 
ments on every side. They wuz cornin’ and 
goin’, talkin’, laughin’, hurryin’, santerin’, to 
and fro, fro and to. Lots on ’em talkin’ lan- 
guage I never hearn before, but I thought, poor 
things, you never had the advantage of livin’ in 
Jonesville, so I overlooked it in ’em. 

I see most the first thing as I entered, a place 
called Creation, and feelin’ dubersome that any 
thing more could be created than what I’d seen 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 267 



“ As I went into Dreamland it seemed as if all the folks in 
the city was there." ^ee page 266) 


268 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


that day, I bought a ticket and went in, and to 
my glad surprise, I found it wuz some like a 
prayer meetin’. For a man with a loud preachin’ 
voice quoted a lot of Scripter most the first 
thing. After we all got seated it turned dark as 
pitch all in a minute. But you could dimly see 
a vast waste of water, kinder movin’ and 
swashin’ to and fro, as if some great force wuz 
workin’ down below. And out of the darkness 
we hearn that Voice: 

“In the beginning God created the Heavens 
and the Earth, and the Earth wuz without 
form and void, and darkness wuz on the face of 
the deep.” 

Anon the fiery energy that wuz makin’ a 
planet, wuz hearn in deafenin’ peals of thunder, 
and blazed through the sky in sheets of lightnin’ 
and dartin’ balls of flame, quietin’ down some 
after awhile. And the Voice continued : 

“The spirit of God moved on the face of the 
deep. And God said, Let there be light; and 
there wuz light.” 

And slowly a faint light dawned and growed 
brighter and brighter and fleecy clouds appeared. 
The sky growed golden and rosy in the east, 
and the sun come up in splendor. Livin’ forms 
appeared in the water, monsters of all kinds 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 269 

and sizes, queerer than any dog I ever see, and 
the Voice went on: 

“ And God separated the water from the land.” 
Little peaks of land emerged from the water 
or it seemed as if the water receeded from them, 
and gradually the dry land appeared, and soon 
queer livin’ forms appeared on it. And gradu- 
ally, with green grass and verdure, it become 
fit for the home of man, and then Adam and 
Eve appeared. They wuzn’t clothed in much 
besides innocence, but somehow they didn’t 
look so immodest as some of the fashonably 
dressed females of to-day, with dekolitay and 
peek-a-boo waists, and skin-tight drapery. 

There wuz good Bible talk and sacred music 
all through the show. And I felt as if I had 
looked on and seen a world made right before 
my eyes, and that I would dearly love to make a 
few myself if I had time, and Josiah wuz willin’. 
I wuz highly delighted with it and said as much 
to the female who sot next to me. She had a 
discontented, onhappy face, and I guess she had 
enough to make her so, for her husband who sot 
by her kep’ findin’ fault with her all the time, till 
at last she turned — for you know a angle worm 
will turn if it is trod on enough — and she sez 
to me, but meant it for her pardner I knowed: 


270 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“The lecturer ort to gone on and told how 
sneakin’ mean Adam treated his wife, eatin’ the 
apple, I’ll bet down to the very core, and then 
misusin’ her for givin’ it to him, and puttin’ all 
the blame on her for bringin’ sin into the world, 
when he wuz jest as much to blame as she wuz.” 

Sez her husband, “You have to slur men all 
the time, don’t you? You can’t see or hear 
anything without findin’ sunthin’ to complain of 
about men. I despise such a sperit; men don’t 
have it.” 

Now, I love justice, and I hate to see my sect 
imposed upon, and then whenever or wherever 
I travel, I always bear with me the honorary 
title I won honorably. Jest as men take with 
’em on sea or land their titles of B. A. or D. D., 
just so I ever carry the title, won by high minded 
and strenous effort, Josiah Allen’s wife, P. A. 
and P. I. — Public Adviser and Private Investi- 
gator. Here, I thought, is need for a P. A. So 
I sez to her, yet in a voice her pardner couldn’t 
help hearin’ : 

“I hearn once of a husbands’ meetin’ in a 
revival, when the minister asked every man to 
git up who had complaints to make about his 
wife. Every man sprung to his feet to once, 
except one lone man by the door. And the 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 271 

minister sez, "My friend, you are one man in a 
million who have no complaints to make about 
your wife/ The man sez, ‘That hain’t it; Fm 
paralyzed, I can’t git up/” 

I d’no as the husband I aimed this at took it 
kind or not, but he didn’t nag his wife any more 
in my hearin’. 





CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 

In which I continue my search for 
Josiah through Dreamland \ 
huntin'* for him in vain > and 
return to Bildad"* s at night y 
weary and despairin'* 
















CHAPTER SEVENTEEN 


IN WHICH I CONTINUE MY SEARCH FOR 
JOSIAH THROUGH DREAMLAND , HUNTIN’ 
FOR HIM IN VAIN , AND RETURN TO 
BILDAD’S AT NIGHT , WEARY AND DE- 
SPAIRIN' 

C REATION wuz such a good show I felt 
considerable rested and refreshed when 
it wuz over. And I thought the woman 
looked quite a little perter; it duz down-trod 
folks lots of good to have somebody take their 
part. I felt kinder good to think I had lightened 
. a sister female’s sperit a little, and wuz walkin’ 
along quite comfortable in mind when like an 
arrow out of a bo, the old pain and anxiety 
stabbed me afresh. Another hour gone and 
Josiah Allen not found! What shall I do? 
Where shall I turn the eyes of my spectacles? 
Jest as I wuz askin’ this question to my troubled 
soul I hearn a boy speak to another one about 
a futur’ state of punishment in sich a vulgar 
and familiar way that I turned round to once, 
carryin’ out my roll of Promisicous Adviser, and I 
275 


276 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

sez, “You wicked boys you, to talk so light of 
your future states, I wonder you dast! If I wuz 
your mother and had had your bringin’ up, you 
wouldn’t dast!” 

They looked real impudent at me, and one on 
’em sez, “You hain’t the money to go with, 
that’s what ails you.” 

I sez solemnly, “Riches is a snare. I know 
how hard it is for the eye of a needle to have a 
camel git through it; I know how the rich man 
longed for a drop of water. And you’d better 
meditate on these things and try to git used to 
heat, instead of talkin’ light about ’em!” I 
don’t know how much longer I should have gone 
on as a P. A. and P. I. but the woman I had 
befriended stepped up and sez, “He means the 
show there.” And lookin’ up, if you’ll believe 
it, I see the words “Hell Gate,” and sez she, 
“I have got two tickets and my husband don’t 
care about goin’, wont’ you go with me?” 

I thought to myself, he probably thinks he’ll 
have chances to sample it in the futur, but 
mebby he wuz jest sulky. But I only sez to 
her, “It is the last place I ever laid out to go 
unless I wuz obleeged to. But lead on,” sez I 
recklessly, “I’ll foller.” For the thought had 
come to me onbid, How did I know how fur 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 277 

Josiah Allen had back-slided ? How did I know 
but Td find him there? 

But to my great surprise — and I wish Elder 
Minkley could see it, I thought mebby it would 



“We got in a small boat and wuz car- 
ried round and round till we dived 
into a dark tunnel” 


modify his sermons some — the first thing we 
see wuz a great trough of water, and I said to 
the woman in surprise, “ I never expected that 
folks would go to this hot place by water !” 



27B SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

But we got into a small boat and wuz carried 
round and round like a whirlpool, till the boat 
got in the very center, when it dived down into 
a dark tunnel. 

At the further end we climbed out onto a 
platform, and found ourselves in a long, low- 
vaulted place, some like a immense tunnel. 
We could jest ketch a glimpse of a light way off 
at the end, and we sot off for it, I lookin’ dost 
and sharp on every side for my pardner, hopin’ 
and dreadin’ to find him there. When all of a 
sudden, the most terrific yells and shrieks 
sounded on every side and we see cages of wild 
animals on both sides of us movin’ up and down 
howlin’ and snarlin’. 

Sez the woman, “ They’re men dressed up as 
wild beasts.” 

Sez I, “Have they got to stay here always? 
Do you spoze it is wrong doin’ that has changed 
’em into wild animals?” Sez I, “Judgin’ 
from the papers some on ’em wouldn’t need much 
of a turn.” But oh, I groaned to myself, “Is 
Josiah Allen turned into a bear or a cammy 
leapord! Is he here? I don’t believe,” sez I 
to myself, “he has ever been bad enough to be 
turned into anything worse than a sheep or a 
rooster.” And as I didn’t hear any blattin’ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 279 

or crowin’, and knowed that if he had seen 
me he would have tried to communicate with 
his beloved pardner, I felt hopeful he wuzn’t 
there. 

We went on and as soon as we got out she 
asked me if I didn’t want to see the Incubator 
babies, and bein’ agreeable to the idee, we went 
and see ’em. There they lay in glass cases, 
pretty little creeters lookin’ like wee bits of dolls, 
I felt sad as I looked down on ’em, and thought 
on the hard journey them tiny feet must set 
out on from them glass boxes. What rough 
crosses the little fingers had got to grasp holt of, 
and onbeknown to me my mind fell onto the 
follerin’ poetry — 

“Our crosses are made from different trees, 

But we all of us have our Calvaries; 

We may climb the mount from a different side, 

But we all go up to be crucified.” 

Of course, I knowed there would be some 
bright posies wreathed round the crosses; but 
there would be thorns in them. And though 
the road might be soft and agreeable in spots, 
yet I knowed well what hard rocks there wuz 
in the highway of life to stub toes on, even 
fommon-sized toes, and it did seem a pity such 


280 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


little mites of feet had got to git stun bruises 
on ’em. 

Poor little creeters! I thought, little do you 
know what sadness and ecstacy, what grief and 
joy, gloom and glory lays ahead on you. I wuz 
sorry for ’em, sorry as a dog. 

And then I didn’t like the idee of the little 
helpless creeters bein’ laid out on exhibition, 
like shirt buttons, or hooks and eyes, to be 
stared on by saint and sinner, by eyes tender or 
cruel — and voices lovin’ and hateful to com- 
ment on. I felt that the place for little babies 
wuz to home in the bedroom. And I thought 
nothin’ would tempt me, if Josiah wuz a infant 
babe, to place him on exhibition like Hamburg 
edgin’, or bobbinet lace. The very idee wuz 
repugnant to me. And I wuz more than willin’ 
when the female asked me if I didn’t want to 
go and see the midgets, and we went. 

And you don’t know what interestin’ little 
creeters they wuz, mindin’ their own bizness 
and midgetin’ away. Actin’ out a little play 
jest as if a company of dolls had come to life, 
talkin’ and actin’. They seemed to be jest as 
happy and contented as if they wuz eight or 
ten feet high and heavy accordin’. 

As we left this place the female ketched sight 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 281 


of her husband. He bagoned hautily to her with 
one finger, and she hastened to jine him. Such 
is females. And so true it is that love in either 
sect will rise up above nagging or any other 
kind of pardner meanness. 

I went forward alone to see the Head Hunters. 
And I looked on the brown little folks with a 
feelin’ of pity. How did I know they had ever 
had good advice ? I felt here wuz a noble chance 
for a P. A. 

So I sez to ’em, “I’ve hearn of your doin’s, 
and I want to advise you for your good.” They 
looked at me real stiddy and I went on, “You 
may think you hain’t so guilty because you 
only take folkses heads. But for the lands 
sakes! did you ever stop to think on’t? What 
can they do without their heads? Of course,” 
sez I reasonably, “there is a difference in heads. 
Some folkses heads hain’t got so much sense 
in ’em as others. I’ve seen ’em myself that 
IVe thought a good wooden head would be jest 
as useful. But they are the best they’ve got, 
and they’re attached to ’em, and they can’t 
git along without ’em. And I always thought 
you might jest as well take their hull bodies 
whilst you wuz about it. Don’t you see that is 
so ? When it is pinted out to you by a P. A. ? ” 


282 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



“ I went forward to see the Head Hunters. 1 sez to 'em. 
I’ve hearn of your doin’ s and I want to advise you for 
your good.’ ’’ (See page 281 ) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 283 

They kinder jabbered over sunthin’ to them- 
selves, and I sez as I turned away, “Now, don’t 
let me hear of any more such doin’s! Be con- 
tented with the heads you’ve got, and don’t 
try to git somebody elses that don’t belong to 
you.” Sez I, “Sunthin’ like that, namely 
stealin’ the interior of folkses heads, has 
been done time and agin among more civil- 
ized folks, and it don’t work; they git found 
out.” 

I left ’em getisculatin’ and jabberin’ in that 
strange lingo and am in hopes they wuz prom- 
isin’ to quit their Head Huntin’, but can’t tell 
for certain. 

As I santered along a female asked me if I 
had seen the Divin’ Girls, sez she, “There is a 
immense pond of water, and they are the best 
divers and swimmers in the world.” 

But I sez, “Nobody can dive into deeper 
depths than I have doven to-day.” 

“The ocean?” sez she. 

“Oceans of anxiety,” sez I, “rivers of grief.” 
I spoze my dretful emotions showed on my 
linement, and to git my mind off she sez, “You 
ort to see the aligators.” 

I’d hearn they had immense tanks of water 
as long as from our house to Philander Dagget’s, 


284 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

holdin’ thousands and thousands and thousands 
of aligators, from them jest born, to them a 1 
hundred years old, from them the size of your 
little finger weighin’ a few ounces, to them big 
as elephants, weighin’ two tons. 

But I told her I could worry along for years 
without aligators, I never seemed to hanker for 
’em, T wouldn’t take ’em as a gift if I had to let 
’em have the run of the house. Humbly things ! 
though I spoze they hain’t to blame for their 
looks, or their temperses, which are fierce. And 
I didn’t go into the big animal house, thinkin’ 

I wuz so dog tired that I would go back to Bil- 
dad’s and come back the next day and see all 
the animals and birds and the hundreds of other 
shows I’d had to slight that day, enough to 
devour days of stiddy sight seein’. The Siege 
of Richmond, The Great Divide, Switzerland, 
Congress of Nations, Indian Village, The Orient, 
Bathin’ Pavilions, Japanese Tea Gardens, and 
etc. 

I did want to see the Shimpanzee who duz 
everything but talk. And I thought mebby 
the reason he wuz so close-mouthed wuz because 
he hearn so much talkin’ he wuz sick on’t, as I 
wuz, and made a sample of himself. But if 
he did nobody follered it, no indeed! Why, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 285 

you jest spozen a hundred swarms of bees big 
as giants, with buzzes big accordin', all a swarmin’ 
and a buzzin’, and you’ll git a little idee of the 
noise and tumult of Coney Island. But you 
won’t spozen’ fur enough, I don’t believe. Yes, 
I laid out to spend considerable time in Dream- 
land next day. But little did I think of what a 
day might bring forth, and have got it to think 
on like them that lose friends, “Oh why didn’t 
I do thus and so ? And now it is too late to wait 
on ’em, and pay attention to ’em?” But I’m 
leadin’ a melancholy horse up to a mournin’ 
wagon, before the thills are on, so I’ll stop 
eppisodin’ and resoom forwards. Jest outside 
the gate of Dreamland I met Bildad, and he 
sez, “Have you found Josiah yet?” 

“No,” I sez in despairin’ axents, “I hain’t 
seen hide nor hair on him.” 

And he sez, “Mebby he’s gone in bathin’.” 

“No,” I sez, “He took a bath in the wash- 
tub the night before he come here, and he hain’t 
a man that will wash oftener than he has to.” 

Sez he, “Hundreds of folks take sand baths, 
lay in the sand and throw it at each other, cover 
themselves up in it.” 

“What for?” I sez. 

“Oh, jest for fun. They’ll go into the water 


286 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


mebby, and then come ashore and roll and tum- 
ble in the sand, men, wimmen, and children, 
mostly foreigners,” sez he. 

I sez, “It don’t seem as if Josiah would go 
into that bizness; he always despised sand.” 

“Well,” sez he, “as I come by there jest now, 
I see somebody that looked like Josiah, goin’ 
towards the beach with a girl by him.” 

I turned onto my heel to once and asked 
sternly, “Where is that beach? And where is 
that sand?” He told me and I made for it to 
once. I hain’t got a jealous hair in my head, 
but I thought I’d go. Well, it wuz a sight to 
see, acres and acres of sand dotted with men, 
wimmen, and children. And beyond, the mel- 
ancholy ocean, also dotted with swimming 
heads, with bodies attached, so I spozed. Well 
might Atlantic be melancholy to see such sights, 
hundreds of folks cornin’ out of the water, 
hundreds goin’ in, and other hundreds walkin’ 
or rollin’ in the sand or throwin’ it at each other 
or half covered up with it. 

And as for the clothes they had on, I thought 
no wonder the Ocean and I sithed to see it, no 
money would tempt me to wear ’em to mill or 
meetin’, or to let Josiah wear ’em. They didn’t 
look decent. Either they wuz scrimped for 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 287 




288 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


cloth, or they wanted to look so; whichever 
way it wuz, I pitied ’em. 

But where wuz Josiah? On every side wuz 
folks settin’ and walkin’, and mounds of sand 
with sometimes a head stickin’ out, or a foot, 
or a arm, or a nose. I had hard work to keep 
from treadin’ on ’em. There would be little 
hillocks of sand with mebby a child’s head or 
foot stickin’ out. 

Anon a mound over a fat man or a woman 
big as a hay stack. I walked along for some 
time keepin’ a dost watch on every side, but 
no Josiah did I see nor no mound I felt wuz 
hisen, till jest as I wuz ready to drop down with 
fatigue with my arjous work to keep from 
treadin’ on folks, I ketched sight of a nose 
stickin’ out of a small mound that I thought 
sure I reconized. My heart bounded at the 
sight. My first look wuz to see if any girl 
mound wuz nigh him. But there wuzn’t nothin’ 
but some children’s heads and feet stickin’ about, 
and I hastened to that nose and poked the sand 
from it with my umbrell cryin’: 

“Dear Josiah! Is this indeed your nose? 
Have I found you at last?” 

When to my horrow a fierce red whiskered 
face rared itself up from the sand, and jabbored 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 289 

at me in a onknown tongue; onknown the words, 
but the language of anger can be read in any 
tongue. Hisen betokened the most intense mad- 
ness, and I spoze that in my agitation I might 
have jabbed him some with my umbrell, and I 
hastened away, tromplin’ as I did so in my 
haste on various heads and arms, and follered by 
loud busts of what I most know wuz blood curd- 
lin’ profanity, though not Jonesville swearin’. 

Well, I wuz tired out and discouraged. No 
josiah, no pardner! I felt some like a grass 
widder, or I guess it wuz more like a real 
widder. "Tennyrate my feelin’swuz too awful 
to describe, so lonesome, so cast-down and 
deprested. And no knowin’ as I would ever 
feel any better, no knowin’ if that dear man 
would ever be found. And what would life 
be without him ? Nothin’ but a holler mockery 
filled with movin’ shadders, the Reality of life 
gone and lost. 

Night wuz cornin’ on apace and I thought I 
might as well abandon my quest for the time, 
so I returned to Bildad’s feelin’ some as if I 
wuz a sickly serial readin’ — “To be continued 
in our next.” For I knowed that I would resoom 
the search bright and early, and find that man or 
perish in my tracks. 


290 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Friday — onlucky day, as it has always been 
called — had gone to jine the days of the past. 
I sot on the piazza at Bildad's lookin' out on 
the seen that, bewilderin' as it wuz by daylight, 
wuz ten times more bewilderin’ly beautiful by 
night. Like stars in the tropics, the electric 
lights flashed out over the hull place, the greatest 
number of electric lights in the same space in 
the world, I wuz told and believe. 

Every pinnacle, battlement, tower, balcony, 
winder, ruff, wuz edged with the blazin' fire 
embroidery. And the tall mountains, palaces, 
graceful bridges, piers, pleasure places of all 
kinds, looked fairy like, under the friendly hand 
of Night. And ’way up to the very heavens 
Dreamland tower lifted itself, a gigantic shaft 
of dazzling brilliancy, dominatin’ the hull island. 
Passingly beautiful tower by night or day, the 
first thing the home-sick mariner sees as he 
approaches his Homeland. 

Thousands and thousands and thousands of 
gay pleasure seekers trod the walks to and fro. 
Thousands and thousands more, rich and poor 
dined in the gay restaurants and balconies, 
surrounded with flowers and light and music. 
And still other thousands enjoyed the myriad 
amusements afforded them. Bildad’s sister. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 291 

who wuz on a visit there from Hoboken, thinks 
it aristocratick, and herself more refined and 
rare to run the place down. Lots of folks do 
that; they go there and stay from mornin’ till 
night, go up in the Awful Tower, take in every 
Bump-de-Bump and Wobble-de-Wobble, and 
then turn up their noses talkin’ to outsiders 
about it, as fur as their different noses will turn. 
She was lame at the time from tromplin’ all over 
the place for the past week. But she sez to me 
(with her nose turned up as fur as it could, 
bein’ a pug to start with): 

“It is Common people who come here mostly.” 
And she kinder glared at me as if mistrustin’ I 
wuz one of ’em. 

And I sez, “Well, you know, Lucindy, who it 
wuz the common people received gladly, and who 
dwelt among them? And you know Lincoln 
said, “It must be the Lord liked the common 
people, He made so many on ’em.” 

She didn’t reply, only with her nose, which 
looked disdainful. And I sez to myself in 
astonishment, “Can this be Samantha, praisin’ 
up what she has always run down?” But I 
had to own up to myself that though I had seen 
many places more congenial to me, yet I wuz 
glad that so many people, some of ’em cut off 


292 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

from the beauty of life, could come here quickly 
and easily, and forgit their cares and toil for 
awhile, and go home refreshed and ready to 
take up their burdens agin. And the children, 
God bless them! I knowed it wuz indeed to 
them, the big Wonder Place, and beauty spot 
of the world and their life. 


CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 

Josiah found at last! The awful 
fire in Dreamland and the 
terrible sights I saw there 


w? ' w r: 1 ' ■ )> q 

.- 








# 




ViW- . i r. •* . * * * i. .. . 1 ■ / f \ ] . .' • 1 * 




CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 


JOSIAH FOUND AT LAST! THE AWFUL FIRE 
AT DREAMLAND AND THE TERRIBLE 
SIGHTS I SAW THERE 

I DIDN'T go out that evenin', weariness and 
rumatiz both kep me to home a settin' on 
that piazza. And in vain for me did the 
countless lights burn and blaze. The great 
tower that lighted up the deep breast of the 
Atlantic, for milds and milds, couldn't light up 
my gloomy sperit. 

Where wuz my Josiah? Where v/uz the pard- 
ner of my youth? In vain did the melogious 
music blare out its loudest blares, it brought no 
bam to my sperit. I sot and looked on the 
countless hosts passin’ by as if they wuzn't 
there, the man I loved wuz not among 'em. 
I sot there lost in mournful thought till the 
endless crowd gradually dispersed. The music 
ceased, the lights went out. The hand of Mid- 
night let down her dark mantilly of repose, 
spangled with stars, Silence sot on the throne 
Noise had vacated. 




29s 


296 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

The great City of Mirth wuz asleep. Only 
the Atlantic and Samantha seemed awake, the 
Ocean’s deep voice sounded out in the same 
ontranslated language it has from the creation, 
and will I spoze till there is no more sea. On- 
translated to most, but to me it thundered out, 
Swish ! — Swosh ! — Roar ! Where is Josiah ? 
Where is Josiah? Where? Where? Swish! — 
Swosh ! — Roar ! 

f I didn’t want to go to bed, but knowed I 
needed rest for another arjous day of Husband 
huntin’. I retired to bed but not to sleep. 
Anxiety and Grief lay on both sides on me and 
crowded me, and prodded me with their sharp 
elbows. 

But I spoze I must have droze off, for all to 
once I wuz passin’ through a great silent city. 
Hours and hours I trod up and down broad stun 
highways, through endless parks and Pleasure 
Places, climbin’ interminable flights of marble 
stairs, walkin’ through immense picture galleries. 
Days and days went by, whilst I wuz conductin’ 
this quest through a deserted city, searchin’ for 
sunthin’ I couldn’t name. Till at last I lay 
wore out, on a couch, and Josiah wuz bendin’ 
over me. He had a small green hat sot rakishly 
on one side, a red neck-tie flashed out, a immense 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 297 

cigar wuz in his mouth, out of which streamed 
a flame of fire. As he bent over me, and I see 
his dissolute linement and mean, I groaned out, 
“Oh Josiah, is it thus we meet?” 

“We meet as Highlariers!” sez he gayly, 
and bent still closter, I spozed he wuz goin’ 
to kiss me. And so philosophical is my mind 
asleep or awake, I thought even then, the law 
couldn’t touch him for it if he did. But before 
his face met mine, that immense flaming cigar sot 
fire to the piller case. The flames riz up round 
me, the smoke entered my nostrils and nose. 

I sprung up. Josiah had disappeared, but 
the smell of fire remained. I hurried to the win- 
der. As I had last seen it all the great pleas- 
ure ground seemed fast asleep. Gone wuz the 
tread of the innumerable multitude. The music 
of the bands wuz hushed, the cries of the differ- 
ent venders and showmen, automobiles, wagons, 
the stiddy sound of machinery running the 
mechanical amusements, and the constant sound 
of footsteps and voices, that filled the day full, 
wuz all hushed. Even to the long onshapely 
animal house Night had brought silence. The 
hull place looked like a City of Dreams, only 
the eternal waves washin’ up on the beach, 
seemed to emphasize the silence. 


298 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

But what wuz that I see over the dim ruffs? 
A slender spiral of flame shootin’ up through 
the shadows, and on Dreamland tower a rosy 
blush seemed to grow on its whiteness. As I 
watched the flame, it grew larger and larger, 
and my heart most stopped heatin’, for I 
knowed what a fire would mean in them un- 
substantial buildin’s. And somewhere there 
under them flimsy ruffs was my Josiah! 

The flame increased! Coney Island wuz 
afire! Made sensitive by anxiety, I had rec- 
onized the smoke borne to me on some va- 
grant breeze. 

The long elaborate dream of mine hadn’t 
lasted a second. It wuz staged in the real 
Dream Land, for the awful drayma so soon to 
be enacted there, by the terrible actor, Fire! 
The most fearful and tragic actor on the hull 
stage of life. 

Fire! Fire! Fire! 

Thus did I scream as I throwed on my clothes, 
I thought at the top of my voice, but I don’t 
spoze it wuz much above a whisper, for Bildad’s 
folks didn’t hear me in the next room, through 
the thin wall, till I rushed to their door and 
knocked, cryin’ out: 

“Bildad, git up! Josiah is afire!” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 299 

“What you say?” he called back. 

“Dreamland is afire! Josiah is in danger! 
But I will save him or perish!” And I ketched 
up a two quart pail of water, and rushed out 
doors. You can’t recall your exact thoughts 
at such a time, yet I have a ricellection of think- 
in’ — Josiah is small boneded, and two quarts 
of water might put him out if he had jest got 
afire. But where wuz the idol of my soul? I 
spoze every woman on Coney Island thought 
them thoughts whether she remembers it or not. 
Where is he\ Will he escape? And men wuz 
thinkin’, Where is she ? Is she safe? Love 
puts the question, and Fear and Horrer an- 
swers it. 

As I rushed along cryin’ Fire! winders wuz 
throwed up, doors opened, and in less time than 
I can tell on’t, Surf Avenue wuz full of people. 
Frenzied cries and shouts rung through the air. 
And as the flames riz higher and higher, so did 
the shrieks and yells of the crowd, which had 
swelled to a mob; bells clanged, fire wagons 
raced and jangled. 

Quicker than any seen wuz ever changed at 
a theatre the Quiet Night wuz turned into 
Pandemonium. Men, wimmen and children 
rushin’ every which way — police — firemen — 


3 oo SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

fire bells clangin’ — men shoutin’ — wimmen 
shriekin’ — and every minute the flames in- 
creased ! 

The firemen did what they could, they worked 
like giants, but the element they wuz workin’ 
aginst wuz more powerful than man. Anon 
burnin’ timbers fell with a crash, clouds of 
smoke wropped us round and choked us, the 
firemen sent up streams of water that turned to 
mountains of steam. 

I wuz carried by the screechin’ mob hither 
and yon with no will of my own. Another 
element wuz added to the fretful seen. Some- 
one cried out: 

“The wild animals are loose!” 

Wimmen fainted, and men, wimmen and chil- 
dren screamed louder than ever, expectin’ any 
minute a tiger or lion or leapord to rush at ’em, 
or a maddened elephant to tromple ’em down. 

They said the sight at that time in the animal 
house wuz enough to turn the soundest brain, 
for to save the animals they had to let ’em loose. 
And as they couldn’t be driven out, at last it 
wuz a great writhin’, strugglin’ mass of animal 
forms appallin’ to see, while the ears wuz deaf- 
ened by the maddened cries of leapords and 
hyenas — the wild jabberin’ of monkeys, snarlin’ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 301 

and growlin’ of panthers, tigers and bears, roarin’ 
of lions — hybrids — hissin’ of serpents — pitiful 
frightened neighing of ponies, trumpetin’ of 
elephants. A great screamin’, roarin, hissin’, 
writhin’, fightin’ mass! 

But as they refused to be driven to safety, 
the keepers after heroic efforts to save ’em, give 
’em a more merciful death. It took fur greater 
heroism to do this,, for some of ’em wuz dear 
pets, and it wuz like slayin’ their own children, 
and they aimed their revolvers at ’em through 
tearful eyes. 

A bareheaded bystander sez, “The fire started 
in Hell Gate.” 

Sez I, “Jest what you could expect of that 
place, I never hearn no good of it yet.” 

But the wild crowd surged to and fro. Earth 
and Heaven seemed filled with the dretful roar 
and confusion — 

It wuz a riot of deafenin’ noise and clamor 
below, and fur fur above, Dreamland Tower 
flamed up a immense pillar of fire, blazin’ out for 
the last time over sea and land, and with a dyin’ 
.effort at decoration, crashed down, sendin’ up 
a shower of golden sparks a hundred feet high. 

Jest then a woman sez, “The little Incubator 
Babies have been forgotten.” 


302 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“Not by me!” I sez, and I strove to push my 
way towards ’em, the woman toilin’ along by 
my side through the inferno of clamor, steam, 
smoke, and shriekin’ rushin’ humanity. But 
jest before we got there we met the good doctors 
and nurses who wuz bearin’ ’em to safety, and 
I sez to the woman, “It will be a shame if them 
helpless mites are ever brought back to this 
place of danger.” 

“Danger!” the words rousted up afresh my 
agonized fears. Where wuz Josiah ? Where 
wuz my idol ? The woman tried to comfort me, 
for I wuz now cryin’ aloud, and callin’ on his 
name. 

She sez, “He will escape; men can git round 
so much easier than wimmen.” 

“Have you a husband in this dretful place?” 
sez I. 

“No,” sez she, “only their dust, I have got 
three in a vase on my mantle piece in Surf Ave- 
nue.” Instinctively I thought “she’d had hus- 
bands to burn, but some wimmen can’t get one 
to save their lives, and them that get one can’t 
keep track on him.” 

But I d’no whether she saved her vase or not, 
for we wuz parted by the hustlin’, tearin’, 
scramblin’ mob, and I wuz carried in another 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 303 

direction, choked and blinded, and tossted and 
torn. 

I hearn someone say, “ Black Prince is loose, 
the biggest lion of all ! And sure enough, wild 
and crazy with the fiery heat and noise, the great 
beast rushed up and down, the crowd givin’ him 
the Right of Way. And at last he dim’ up onto 
a battlement and looked down on the mad seen 
below, the shoutin’ yellin’ mob bore me onwards, 
so I stood only a stun’s throw from the spot. 

Never agin will there be such a seen presented 
to the eye of man, as that kingly form, standin’ 
up above the crowd aginst the background of 
lurid flame. 

But who wuz that standin’ directly beneath, 
in the very middle of danger? My heart bounded 
so it most broke through my bodist waist. 

Did I not know that small boneded figger? 
That bald head lit up by the glare of flames? 
It wuz! it wuz Josiah! My pardner-huntin’ 
wuz ended, but wuz it to be death at the gole? 
That agonizin’ thought made me by the .side 
of myself, and entirely onbeknown to me I 
rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast 
above, jest ready to spring: 

“Don’t harm Josiah! Devour me instead!” 

I knowed I would make a better meal for it; 


30 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



“I rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast above , jest 
ready to spring : ‘ Don’t harm Josiah ! Devour me 
instead.’ ” ( See page 303) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 305 

Josiah is lean and boney. But I won’t try to 
make myself out better than I am; I didn’t 
think of the lion’s digestion, and how Josiah 
would set on his stomach. My only thought 
wuz to save .my pardner. And with a hercu- 
laneum effort I reached his side, and snatched 
him away jest as a shot rung out and the noble 
beast fell, his great, shaggy head restin’ on the 
balustrade, lookin’ down on the crowd below as 
if in questionin’ agony and contempt, as though 
his last thoughts wuz: 

“Did you tear me away from my own free, 
beautiful, tropical forest for such a fate as this ? 
Where is man’s boasted wisdom and power? 
I could have cared for myself, lived and died 
in happiness and safety, but civilized man has 
ruined and destroyed the wild beast.” 

The rest of that seen is like a dream to me. I 
guess when the heavy dread and fear I had 
carried so long, wuz lifted from my brain, it 
made me light-headed. ’Tennyrate, it don’t 
seem as if I come fully to myself, till Josiah and 
I wuz takin’ leave at Bildad’s with tickets for 
Jonesville in our pockets. 

The agony I had went through there, and my 
joy in his recovery wuz such, that I didn’t throw 


3 o6 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Josiah’s waywardness in his face (not much of 
any). But if you’ll believe it — and I don’t 
spoze you will — he turned the tables ’round, 
and blamed me. That is often done by pardners ^ 
of both sects, when they feel real guilty, to try ; 
to draw attention off their own misdoin’s, by j 
findin’ fault with their pardners. It has been ' 
done time and agin, and I spoze will be, as long / 
as man is man, and woman is woman. 

When I told him that I rid down there with : 
Deacon Gansey, that man acted jealous and ] 
mad as a hen. He never liked him, they fell ; 
out years ago about a rail fence, and wuz hurt. \ 
But now he acted furious, and his last words to : 
Bildad wuz: 

“I want you to have a funeral for Deacon 
Gansey before I see you agin, and I’ll pick out 
the him I want you to sing at his funeral: 

“ Believein’, we rejoice, 

To see the cuss removed.” 

But I spoke right up and sez, “ Don’t you i 
bury him till he is dead, Bildad, no matter who ; 
tells you to.” 

And Josiah didn’t like that, or acted as if he 
didn’t; mebby he wuz subterfugin’ to draw off 
attention. Truly, pardners is a mysterious 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 307 

problem, and it takes sights of wisdom and 
patience to solve’ em, and sometimes you can’t 
git the right answer to ’em then, male or female. 

As we left Surf Avenue I looked back on the 
blackened ruins of what had been the fair City 
of Dreamland, the broken totterin’ remains of 
that glorious tower, the black tangled masses 
of iron and steel, the ruins of the great animal 
house mixed with the ashes of a hundred and 
twenty animals, and I see with my mind’s eye 
that great flat plain of blackened ruins, all cleared 
away, and green velvety grass, and trees, and 
fountains sprayin’ over shrubs, and flowers, 
and white smooth paths windin’ through the 
bloom and verdure clear down to the clean sand 
of the water’s verge. And the high fence of 
Exclusion that shets them from other fair parks 
along the shore removed, thousands and thou- 
sands and thousands of happy children playin’ 
there in the pure air, takin’ in in one summer 
day enough strength to last ’em through a 
crowded, suffocatin’, weary week. And grown 
folks, rich and poor, tired of city sights and 
sounds, strollin’ about or settin’ on comfortable 
seats lookin’ off on the water, or watchin’ the 
play of their children, the fresh air blowin’ 
some of their cares and troubles away. 


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We return to Jonesville and 
Josiah builds Tirzah Ann’s 
cottage with strange inventions 
and additions 











CHAPTER NINETEEN 


WE RETURN TO JONESVILLE AND JOSIAH 
BUILDS TIRZAH ANN’S COTTAGE WITH 
STRANGE INVENTIONS AND ADDITIONS 

I TOLD Josiah I hoped my vision would 
come true, and they would make an 
open park of Dreamland, so the millions 
who visit Coney Island could git a good 
look at Mom Nater and old Ocean. “And 
heaven knows,” sez I, “there would be amuse- 
ments enough left in Luny, and Steeple Chase 
Park, and other resorts all along the shore.” 
And he said he didn’t care a dum what they did 
with it. Sez he, “They needn’t build it up on my 
account, for I won’t patronize ’em any more!” 
And I told him, “I guessed he wouldn’t be missed, 
specially Sundays and holidays.” And he said, 
“ Miss me or not, they needn’t try to git me there 
agin, and they may jest as well give up hopin’ 
to, first as last.” 

Sez I, “Can’t you be megum, Josiah? You 
wuz all carried away with it, and now you’re 
311 


312 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

turned agin it; what makes you turn so fur ? 
Can't you see the good side to it?" 

‘‘No, I can’t, and won’t!" 

So we went home some like the Baptist and 
the Methodist who had a public meetin’ to 
argy their two beliefs, on which they wuz dretful 
sot, and they converted each other, so the Bap- 
tist went home a Methodist, and the Methodist 
a Baptist. 

I’d been considerable sot agin it, but I went 
home with the eye of my spectacles able to look 
on both sides. The side I didn’t like, that it 
shares with other Pleasure Resorts. And its 
good side, as a care lightener, and diversion to 
toil. And a golden Pleasure House to the 
millions of children who go there every year, 
many of ’em poor children who get there their 
only glimpse of rest and light hearted enjoyment. 

But my dear pardner can’t be megum; that 
quality wuz left out when he wuz manufactured. 
And now if anyone sez Coney Island, he starts 
for the barn. 

Serenus come home a few days after we did. 
He’d been on the Bowery of Coney Island that 
night, Josiah havin’ refused to go to such a low- 
down place with him. So as it often is in this 
strange world, the wrong-doer comes out ahead, 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 3 ij 

for the present . He made a night of it with 
Jim Cobb a rural cousin, and not a hair of his 
head wuz scorched, nor the smell of fire on his 
garments. 

But I wuz proud that Josiah withstood temp- 
tation, and told him that I would ruther he had 
got afire, and burned considerable, than had him 
yield to the tempter. 

I myself never sot foot on the Bowery; I 
wuzn’t goin’ to nasty up my mind with it, though 
I hearn there wuz some good things to be seen 
there. Folks told me I’d ort to gone to Brigh- 
ton, and Atlantic City, and see the milds of 
beautiful Pleasure places along the ocean, but 
I sez, “I thank you, but I’ve seen enough/’ 
though there wuz sights there that I would 
loved to see. 

Among ’em wuz that Mother’s Camp, where 
thousands and thousands of poor children and 
their mas go to spend a day in the bracin’ 
atmosphere. And the children have pure milk, 
and their mas good tea, and they can go there 
day after day all they want to. How the chil- 
dren look forward to it, and their mas too. 

The goodness and helpfulness of such places 
along the beach, wrops their bright mantillys 
over some of the other places not so good and 


3 i4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



“/ myself never sot foot on the Bowery; I wuz’nt goin ’ to 
nasty up my mind with it , though I hearn there wuz 
some good things to he seen there” ( See page 313) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 315 

makes folks more lenitent to ’em, a.s they endure 
a poor husband for the sake of his good wife, 
and visey versey. 

A few days after we got home, Josiah 
took Penstock and they sot off for a two 
weeks’ stay at Shadow Island. And a few 
days after they got there he writ me that they 
had broke ground for the cottage. And that 
very day I got my feet wet down to the creek 
paster huntin’ for a turkey’s nest, and come 
down with inflamatory rumatiz, and couldn’t 
walk a step for upwards of four weeks, and Ury’s 
wife come and took care on me. My head felt 
bad too, Coney Island had been too much for 
me — 

Well, Josiah would come home Sundays all 
wrought up and enthusiastick boastin’ what a 
model house it wuz, jest perfect, and what new 
and magnificent discoveries he had made to 
lighten labor, which he wuz goin’ to git patented 
and probable make our everlastin’ fortune, as 
well as make Tirzah Ann perfectly happy. And 
I’d set with my foot on a piller, and hear him go 
on and forebode and forebode, and I groaned 
more about the house than I did with the pain 
in my lim, though that wuz fearful. 

Well, after it had been goin’ on for about four. 


3 16 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

weeks, one Saturday when he come home over 
Sunday, he said the house wuz all up and nearin’ : 
completion, and he carried the idee if he did'nt j 
come right out and say it, that there wuzn’t a] 
mansion in the New Jerusalem that went ahead I 
on’t. My rumatiz and head wuz quite a little' 
better, and he proposed that I should go back 
with him Monday mornin’ on a short tower and 
see the house, and be a humble witness and 
admirer of his glorious triumph (he didn’t say 
these words right out but carried the idee plain 
in his linement, and hauty demeanor). Well, 

I concluded to go, and Philury bandaged up my 
lim in soft flannel moistened with anarky, and 
packed various bottles of linement, etc., in my 
portmanty and Ury took us to the train. 

Well I will pass over our voyage to Shadow 
Island, but in the fullness of time we arrove 
there, and stood in front of the cottage. The 
seen all round it wuz fair indeed, but the struc- 
ture looked queer, queer as a dog. There wuz 
piazzas and porticos, and ornament piled on 
ornament cropped out on every side. It wuz 
weighted down with cheap little sawed out 
peaks and pints, and triangles perforated with 
holes for ornaments, but the hull thing looked 
shiftless, tippin’ and lop sided. I stood lookin’ 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 317 

at it in silence for a long time, it looked so queer 
that it sort o’ stunted and brow beat me, and my { 
first words wuz spoke as much to my own soul 
as to my companion, “It looks strange, passin' 
strange !” 

"Yes,” sez Josiah, “hain't it a uneek plan?” 

“Yes,” sez I, “a uneeker one wuz never seen 
on this planet.” And agin I seemed to lose 
myself in strange emotions, it looked so awful, 
a kind of or mingled with my indignation and 
regret. 

“Nobody will steal them idees!” sez he 
proudly. 

“No,” sez I sadly, “you're safe from that.” 
And I sez, as I looked up at the queer, lop sided, 
flighty, vain thing, “It leans over considerable, 
Josiah Allen, it is very tippin’.” 

He looked worried, but sez in a sort of apology 
way, “I had it lean over one side on account 
of havin' rain water dripp offen the eaves, and 
have the snow slide off in drifty times. Ruffs 
have been known to fall in, and I wanted to 
ensure Tirzah Ann's havin' a ruff over her head 
anyway.” 

Agin I looked on in solemn or, and sez won- 
derin’ly, “What will Tirzah Ann say when she 
sees it?” 


318 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

“ I don’t care,” sez he, “what she sez! if she 
don’t like it she can lump it!” 

But I could see that the tippin’ sides wuz done 
through a mistake, and he wuz tryin’ to cover 
it up with a mantilly of bravado and boastful- 
ness. I agin kep’ silence for quite a spell, and 
my next words, so fur as I remember ’em, wuz, 
“Where is the suller?” 

He stood agast and repeated, “The suller!” 
He looked perfectly dumb-foundered but wuzn’t 
goin’ to give in he made a mistake, it wuz too 
mortifyin’ to his pride, so sez he in faint axents: 

“I laid out to build it after the house wuz 
done.” Sez I, “What wuz you goin’ to do with 
the dirt?” 

“Why, I laid out,” sez he lookin’ helplessly 
round for a excuse, “I laid out to bring it up in 
baskets,” and he went on brightenin’ up as a 
idee struck him — “I’ve observed, Samantha, 
that dirt is handy for house plants, or to plant 
seeds in the spring of the year.” 

Sez I dryly, “I guess three or four hundred 
wagon loads won’t be needed for house plants, 
and after Tirzah Ann sees all that dirt lugged 
up her suller stairs and through, her kitchen she 
won’t have much time or ambition for posies.” 

“Well,” sez he, a bright idee occurrin’ to him. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 319 



“ ‘ The sutler !' He stood agast, perfectly dumb-foundered but 
wuzn’t goin’ to give in he had made a mistake. It 
muz too mortifying to his pride. (See page 318) 


SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 


320 

“ it will be a first rate job for the men to do rainy 
days. In buildin’ a house there hain’t much a 
man can do durin’ a hard thunder storm, or hail 
storm, but they can go right on with the suller 
jest as well as though it wuz a sunshiny day. 
That is one great thing that architects have 
heretofore overlooked, work that men can do 
durin’ cyclones — I have met that want,” sez 
he proudly. 

“I should think as much,” sez I mekanically, 
for my thoughts wuzn’t there, they wuz afar 
with Tirzah with her poor health, and the blow 
that had got to come onto her, when she see this 
thing that wuz rared up in front of me. 

Well, I went round to the kitchen door, the 
winders all seemed sot in tottlin’ and shaky, 
and my pen fails me to tell the looks of them 
back door steps, they wuz very high here, for 
the land sloped off sudden, but suffice it to say 
that I wouldn’t trust even one foot on ’em for 
a dollar bill. There wuz a great long concern 
that looked like a huge wooden arm that come 
out of the settin’ room winder on that side and 
seemed to reach down to the water, and sez I, 
“What, for the land’s sake! is that?” 

“That,” sez he proudly, “is the crownin’ 
work of my life! that will make me famous and 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 321 

enormously rich when it becomes known to the 
world. That is a attachment to hitch onto the 
sewin’ machine, the churn, the coffee mill or any 
domestic article where foot or hand power is 
used, and is to be used in pumpin’ water.” 

“Pumpin’ water!” sez I coldly, “what for?” 

“Oh, for drinkin’, for irrigatin’, or for any 
use that water is used for, puttin’ out fires, or 
anything.” 

Sez I coldly, “ Do you spoze that Tirzah Ann 
with her health, is goin’ to set at her sewin’ 
machine and do fine sewin’, and at the same time 
pump water from hour to hour?” 

“Yes,” sez he, “and hain’t it a beautiful 
thought, how it will add to her sweet content 
and happiness as she sets sewin’ on Whitfield’s 
shirts, and thinkin’ at the same time she is 
benefittin’ the world at large, quietly and un- 
ostentatiously sewin’ on gussets, and makin’ 
the desert blossom like a rosy all round her; 
how happy she will be,” sez he. 

Sez I, “It is a crazy idee! crazy as a loon! 
What under the sun would she want to pump 
hundreds and hundreds of barrels of water 
for? Half a barrel would last ’em a day for all 
their work.” 

He murmured sunthin’ about a fountain. 


322 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

that might be sprayin’ up in the front yard, and 
how beautiful it would be, and enjoyable. 

And I sez, “Could you set and enjoy yourself 
lookin’ on a fountain risin’ up and dashin’ 
jewels of spray all round you, and thinkin’ that 
every drop wuz bein’ pumped up by the weary 
feet of your own girl by your first wife ? That 
poor delicate little creeter’s tired feet, toilin’ 
on hour by hour and day by day.” 

He looked real bad, he hadn’t thought so fur, 
and I went on, “ Don’t you know it would make 
the sewin’ machine go so hard that no woman 
could run it a minute, let alone for days and 
weeks?” His linement fell two or three inches. 
I see he gin up it needed more strength to 
run it. “And it looks like furiation too,” 
sez I. 

“Look!” He snapped out, “What do you 
spoze I care for looks!” 

But I see his idees wuz all broke up, as well 
they might be, Tirzah Ann pumpin’ water all 
day with her feet! the idee! 

Well, out on one side of the house I see a 
great pile of bricks, they seemed to be divided 
in two piles, one wuz good sound bricks, and one 
wuz broken some, and I sez, “What are these 
bricks divided off so fur?” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 323 

“That,” sez he, “is a sample of hov^ men see 
into things.” 

“How?” sez I. 

“Well, Fll tell you.” And he went on proudly, 
as if glad to git a chance to show off how fur 
seem’ and eqinomical he wuz, and to recover 
from the machinness that had settled down on 
him like a dark mantilly, while we discussed 
the suller and pump attachment. 

“I got them bricks at a bargain. I hain’t 
got enough good bricks for the hull chimbly, 
and so I’m goin’ to have ’em begin the chimbly 
on top instead of the usual way of beginin’ at 
the bottom, and then I can see jest how fur my 
good bricks will go.” 

“How be you goin’ to make the top bricks 
stay up?” sez I, “a layin’ up on nothin’?” 

“That is a man’s work,” sez he, “a woman 
couldn’t understand it if I should explain it.” 

“No,” sez I, “Heaven knows no woman on 
earth would ever understand that idee!” 

Well, all I could do he would go that very 
afternoon and engage a mason to do the work, 
build the chimbly after his views, beginin’ on 
top instead of the bottom. But though deeply 
mortified at it, that wuz jest the move that sot 
me free from my anxieties about the house, for 


3 2 4 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

the mason, who wuz a great case for a joke, 
made so much fun of the idee, and of the hull 
structure, that my companion threw up the hull 

job and told me that the house might go to 

for anything he cared. I will never tell the place 
he said the house might go to, it is too wicked 
to even think on calmly, it begun with an H 
and that is all that I will ever tell to any- 
body. 

Well, when Whitfield and Tirzah Ann come 
back from Maine and went to Shadow Island 
to see that strange queer lookin’ building I spoze 
Whitfield laughed till his sides ached. Tirzah 
cried, they* say; cried partly out of sentiment 
to think her Pa had showed such affection for 
her as to build the cottage, and partly because 
it looked so awful, it made her hystericky. 

But Whitfield sobered down, and when he 
come back to Jonesville acted good to Josiah, 
he seemed to be real thankful to Josiah and me 
for buildin’ it, and his grateful, affectionate ways 
kinder took the edge offen Josiah’s humiliation, 
but then he would probable have sprunted up 
anyway — mortification never prayed on him 
for more’n a short time. 

Well, the end on’t wuz, Whitfield hired a good 
carpenter to oversee the work, and some strong 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 325 

workmen who wuz able to lift and lug, there wuz 
plenty of lumber, and in four weeks the house 
wuz transmogrified into a good lookin’ cottage. 
They built on a L, I believe they called it, which 
they’re to use as a store room, and under that 
Tirzah Ann is to have her suller, Whitfield wuzn’t 
the man to deprive her of that comfort. And 
in some way they straightened up the house, 
and put in a winder here and there, tore off lots 
of th 6 ornaments, but left on some of the piazzas, 
and balconies, and things, and it wuz a pretty 
and commogious lookin’ cottage. They painted 
the hull concern a soft buff color, with red ruffs 
that looked real picturesque settin’ back aginst 
the dark green of the trees. 

And sure enough the first week in September 
we had our party there. It wuzn’t a surprise — 
no, Heaven knows the surprise wuz when we 
first laid eyes on the house as Josiah left it — 
but it wuz a very agreable party. Tirzah Ann 
did well by us in cookin’ (of course we helped 
her) and we all stayed three days and two 
nights; Thomas J. and Maggie and the children, 
and Josiah and me. Tirzah Ann and Whitfield 
stayed longer, so’s to leave everything in first 
rate order for another year. They sot out some 
pretty shrubs and made some posy beds under 


326 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

the winders, and planted bulbs in ’em, that they 
spozed would rise up and break out in sunny 
smiles when they met ’em another summer. 
They lay out to take sights of comfort in that 
house — yes indeed ! 

And I shouldn’t be at all surprised if it ended 
by our all havin’ cottages there for summer 
comfort. It looks like it now. Though I told 
’em I’d ruther have our cottage on the main 
land pretty nigh to ’em; there’s places where 
the land juts out into the river havin’ all the 
looks of a island on the fore side, and on the 
hindside more solidity somehow. 

And with the society of the Saint on the front 
side, and Safety on the hind side, it seems as if 
anybody could take considerable comfort there. 


CHAPTER TWENTY 

Faith comes to visit us. JVe 
attend the Camp Meetin 9 at 
Piller Pint , and Faith meets 
the lover of her youth 



CHAPTER TWENTY 


FAITH COMES TO VISIT US. WE ATTEND 
THE CAMP MEET IN' AT P1LLER PINT , 
AND FAITH MEETS THE LOVER OF HER 
YOUTH 

A CCORDIN’ to her promise Faithful 
Smith come to Jonesville in the fall 
and we wuz glad enough to see her. 
We had laid our plans to attend the Camp 
Meetin’ at Piller Pint, and at last the time 
arriv. The day before the great meetin’, the 
sky wuz rosy in the mornin’, the distant lake 
looked blue, and everything bid fair for a good 
spell of weather. 

Josiah iled up the old double harness and 
washed the democrat off and rubbed it down 
with shammy skin till it shone like glass. And 
I prepared a glass can of baked beans brown and 
crispy, but sweet and rich tastin’ as beans know 
how to be when well cooked, then I briled two 
young chickens a light yeller brown, and basted 
’em well with melted butter, and had a new 
quart basin of as good dressin’ as Jonesville ever 
turned out, and I’ve seen good dressers in my 
329 


330 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

day. And a quart can of beautiful creamed 
potatoes all ready to warm up, two dozen light 
white biscuit, a canned strawberry pie, and a 
dozen sugar cookies reposed side by side in a 
clean market basket, and by ’em lay peacefully 
a little can of rich yeller butter and one of brittle 
cowcumber pickles, and one dozen deviled eggs. 

A better lunch wuz never prepared in the 
precincts of Jonesville. 

Oh! and I had some jell too, and cream 
cheese, and the next mornin’ I made two quarts 
of coffee all ready to warm up in Sister Mee- 
chum’s tent (she had gin permission), and a can 
of sweet cream to add richness to it, and lump 
sugar accordin’. 

I felt that these wuz extraordinary prepara- 
tions, but didn’t begrech ’em, part on ’em wuz 
on Faith’s account. Well, as I say, the prepara- 
tions wuz all completed the day before exceptin’ 
the coffee and creamed potatoes, and them wuz 
accomplised early in the mornin’ while I wuz 
gittin’ breakfast, and we all sot off triumphant 
at nine a.m. 

It wuz a clear cool mornin’ in lovely autumn. 
Old Nater hadn’t as you may say finished up 
her fall job of colorin’ and paintin’, but she 
wuz all rousted up tendin’ to it. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 331 

All along the smooth highway leadin’ to the 
lake, trees and bushes bent over the roadside 
tinged with crimson and yeller and russet brown, 
and red, and shaded gold colors mingled with 
the rich green of the faithful cedars and hemlocks 
and pines. Sometimes up a high pine tree or 
ellum a wild ivy had clum and wuz hangin’ 
on with one hand and wavin’ out to us its banner 
of gold and crimson as we passed. And fur off 
the maple forest looked like a vast mass of rose 
and amber and golden brown, mingled with the 
deep green of spruces and cedars, and furder off 
still a blue haze lay over all like a soft veil partly 
hidin’ and partly revealin’ the glory of the seen. 
And ever and anon the blue flashin’ waters of 
the lake could be seen like the soul in a woman’s 
face, givin’ life and meanin’ to the picture. 

Well, anon as we dumb a hill, the hull lake 
bust out on our vision, it lay spread out broad 
and beautiful and calm, with the breezes ripplin’ 
its blue surface into waves, and the sunshine 
sparkling on its bosom, and down under the hill 
on a pint of land that stretched out into the water 
stood the noble grove of trees where the camp 
meetin’ wuz held. That wuz Piller Pint. 

We descended a hill, driv along half a mild or 
so till we come to a fence and a open pair of bars, 


332 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

in front of which stood two muscular attendants 
and one on 'em sez, “We take a small fee from 
them that enter/' 

Sez Josiah, lookin' gloomy, “ I spozed religion 
wuz free." 

“It is free," sez the man, “but this is only to 
smooth its way, put up seats and such." 

Sez Josiah, “I didn’t know that Religion had 
to set down." 

“Sinners have to set," sez the man. 

Sez Josiah, “We hain't sinners." But I 
hunched him and sez, “ Pay your fee and go on." 
So after a deep sithe he produced his old leather 
wallet and fished up ten cents out of its depths, 
and we proceeded on. 

The grove wuz a large one, acres and acres 
of big trees on every side, and vehicles of 
every description from smart canopy top bug- 
gies, and Sarah's, and automobiles, down to 
one horse sulkies and rickety buck-boards, and 
horses of every size and color wuz hitched to 
'em. And on the fallen tree trunks sot wimmen 
and girls, young boys, children, and pairs of 
lovers wuz walkin' afoot amidst the deep green 
aisles. Way in the green depths of the woods 
you could see the glimpse of a woman's dress, or 
see the head of a horse lookin’ out peaceful. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 333 

But we advanced a little furder as the road 
led out amongst the trees and pretty soon we 
come in sight of a large round tent where the 
meetin’ wuz held, and from which we could 
hear the voice of hims and oratory, along on 
both sides of the immense tent, so’s to leave a 
road between, wuz rows of small tents where 
the campers dwelt. They stretched on like 
two rows of white dwellings way off into the 
green of the woods. Josiah and I are well 
thought on in Jonesville, and as fur out as Loon- 
town and Piller Pint, and a man soon advanced 
and gin us an advantageous position, and 
Josiah hitched the mair and we advanced into 
the amphitheatre. 

The tent riz up like a big white umbrell, or 
like great broodin’ wings overhead, leavin’ the 
sides free for the soft air to enter. There wuz 
rows of seats, boards laid on wooden supports 
and on one side a high wooden structure, open 
towards the seats, in which the preachers sot 
or stood. A wooden railin’ run along in front of 
that rough pulpit. Under foot wuz the green 
moss and rich mold of the onbroken forest. And 
way up over the white tent the tall tree tops 
arched, and you could look way up into the green 
aisles of light with glimpses of sunshine between, 


334 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

castin’ shady shadows and golden ones on the 
grass and moss below. 

Folks wuz settin’ round of all sorts, some hand- 
some, some humbly, some dressed up slick, 
some in rough common attire, but most on ’em 
looked like good sturdy farmers and their 
families. The old grand-ma of ninety with 
bent form and earnest face, side by side with 
her great grand-child. 

I myself with Josiah sot down by a large 
boneded woman with a big, calm, good-lookin’ 
face. She had on a dress and mantilly of faded 
black cashmere; the mantilly wuz wadded, a 
pink knit woolen scarf wuz wound loose round 
her neck, she had a small hat of black straw 
trimmed with red poppies, and she wore a pair 
of large hoop ear-rings. Her face had the calm 
and sunshine of perfect peace on it. Her hus- 
band, a small pepper-and-salt iron gray man, 
with sandy hair and a multitude of wrinkles, 
sot by her, and they had a young child elabo- 
rately dressed in red calico between ’em. 

Beyond her sot a little slender woman in a 
stylish dark blue dress and turban, her face 
alert and eager, lit with deep gray eyes, had the 
passion and zeal of a Luther or Wesley. On 
the nigh side of me sot two young girls in pink 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 335 

and white muslin; a father and mother and 
three children wuz behind us, and on the seat 
in front wuz some young men and two old ones. 
I hearn the big calm woman say, “I shall be 
dretful disappinted if he don’t come to-day.” 

“So shall I,” sez the pepper-and-salt man, 
“I shall feel like turnin’ right round and goin’ 
back home, but I think he is sure to be here.” 
Bein’ temporary neighbors I asked who it wuz 
that wuz expected. 

“Why, the great revivalist and preacher who 
is expected here to-day.” 

Sez I, “Who is it?” The woman said she 
couldn’t remember the name, but he wuz the 
greatest preacher sence Wesley. He jest went 
about doin’ good, folks would go milds and milds 
to hear him, and he drawed their souls and 
sperits right along with his fervor and eloquence. 
He is to a big meetin’ at Burr’s Mills to-day, 
but is expected here for sure. Two hundred 
had been converted under him at Burr’s Mills. 
He had been there a week. 

I sez, “Whyee! is that so?” 

“Yes,” sez the calm woman, and she went 
on to say, “I hear that he used to be a wicked 
man, but had some trouble that made him 
desperate, and finally driv him right into the 


336 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

Kingdom, and sence that he can’t seem to work 
hard enough for the Master.” 

“Well,” sez I, “Saul the scoffer got turned 
into Paul the apostle, and that same power is 
here to-day.” 

“Speakin’ of the power,” sez the woman, 
“two wimmen and a man had the power last 
night, one girl lay speechless for hours, and 
when she come to said she had been ketched 
right up into Heaven. She talked beautiful,” 
sez she. 

Sez I calmly, “That’s jest what Paul said, he 
said he wuz caught up to the Third Heaven.” 

Sez Josiah, “That power don’t come to earth 
to-day, Samantha.” 

Sez I, “Who told you it didn’t? I hain’t 
hearn on’t. Earth hain’t no furder from Heaven 
now than it wuz then, and the same God reigns.” 

“Amen,” sez the pepper-? d-salt man, I see 
he had zeal and religion, but I felt kinder flus- 
trated to be “amened” to in public, and I looked 
kinder meachin’ I spoze, and the calm woman 
see I did. And she sez: 

“Sister Calvin Martin lays there now in her 
tent with the Power. She lay there all day 
yesterday and all night.” 

Some of the boys before me begun to titter 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 337 

and snicker at anybody’s havin’ the, power, and 
I sez, eyein’ ’em sternly, “Do you know what 
you’re laughin’ at, young men? You talk 
about it real glib, but have you any idee of the 
greatness and overwhelmin’ might of the Force 
you’re speakin’ of? That Power wuz at Pente- 
cost in cloven tongues of flame, and strange 
voices and words that no man could utter. Saul 
laughed at the Power but it struck him blind 
in the street, and ketched him up into the 
Seventh Heaven. When that Power comes 
down on earth, let sinners quail, and saints 
look on with or and tremblin’.” 

They looked real meachin’. But jest then the 
Experience meetin’ begun, and a old man with 
thin white hair and white whiskers framin' his 
meek wrinkled face, come forward, and layin’ 
his hand on the railin’ sez in a kinder tremblin’ 
voice, “Bless tM Lord who has made His 
servant able to come to this temple in the wilder- 
ness, to witness the glory He has poured down 
on his people. Every camp-meetin’ for years I 
have thought would be my last, but bless Him 
who has preserved me to this day.” 

“Yes, bless the Lord! Amen! amen!” wuz 
shouted on every side, and as he stopped after 
a few minutes’ exhortation, the other ministers 


338 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and some of the old bretheren crowded round 
the white headed old saint to shake his hand. 

Then a sweet faced little girl in a pink hat got 
up and said “the Lord wuz precious to her.” 

“Amen! amen! Bless His name! He carries 
the lambs in His bosom!” said the white 
headed preacher. Then a pleasant lookin’ mid- 
dle-aged minister related this incident, “A young 
boy had been converted, and said he had a 
view of Heaven. A onbeliever tried to frighten 
him and asked him if he didn’t tremble at the 
thought. Sez the boy, ‘My feet are on the 
rock.’ 

“‘But don’t you tremble?’ sez the infidel. 

“‘Yes,’ sez the boy, ‘I do, but the rock under 
my feet don’t tremble.’” 

“ Oh, Jesus is a rock in a weary land, 

A weary land, a weary land — 

Oh, Jesus is a rock in a weary land — 

A shelter in the time of storm.” 

High and clear this believin’ song floated, 
through our souls — and up to Heaven. 

Then a good lookin’ young man arose and 
sez, “Did you ever hear of the drunken horse 
jockey and thief down to Loon town? Well, 
I’m that man clothed and in my right mind. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 339 

The Lord stopped me in my evil course, and I 
am His and He is mine.” 

A bystander sez, “That is so, he is a changed 
man.” Then they all sung: 

“ There is a fountain filled with blood, 

Drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; 

And sinners plunged beneath its flood 
Lose all their guilty stains. 

Lose all their guilty sta-ains; 

Lose all their guilty sta-ains; 

And sinners plunged beneath that flood 
Lose all their guilty stains.” 

That is a melogious chorus, but so kinder 
floatin’ on, and back and forth, that I don’t 
see how they can ever stop it when they begin. 
Of course as wuz natural there wuz some there 
who wuz bashful and made mistakes. A tall 
slim young man got up, he wuz studying for the 
ministry, sez he, “My friends, I am a stranger 
to you all, I am a stranger to myself, and I 
trust,” sez he, “I am a stranger to my God.” 

He left out a “wuzn’t,” he meant that he 
wuzn’t a stranger to his God. Bashfulness wuz 
the cause. Madder red wuz pale compared to 
his face when he sot down, and his tongue wuz 
thick and husky. I wuz sorry for him. Then a 
woman riz up with a black bunnet and veil on 


340 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

and white collar and cuffs; she looked like a 
Quakeress, and I believe that if Emperors and 
Zars had stood before her she would have been 
onmoved, she wuz as calm and earnest as Ruth 
or Esther, or any of our good old four-mothers. 
Sez she: 

“My friends, I see your faces to-day and 
watch the different expressions upon them. 
How will these faces look when we meet at the 
Bar of God? Will peace be on them? Or dis- 
may and everlastin’ regret ?” 

“Oh yes! The Lord help! Let us hear 
from some one else!” A slight pause ensued 
and then there riz up this melogious appealin’ 
old him : 

“ Shall Jesus bear the cross alone, 

And all the world go free? 

No, there’s a cross for every one, 

And there’s a cross for me.” 

A colored boy got up; he wuz tall and gant 
with big soft eyes full of the pathetic wisdom 
and ignorance of his race. He spoke kinder slow 
and sez, “I wuz sick once and I felt alone. I 
wuz afraid to die. Now if I wuz sick I shouldn’t 
be alone, nor afraid, I’ve got somebody with 
me. Jesus Christ is with me all the time. I 
hain’t lonesome no more, nor ’fraid.” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 341 

“Tell your experience, Joe, tell it here!” 
shouted an old man. Joe stepped forward, 
took the Bible offen the rustic stand, turned over 
the leaves to the first page, and slowly and 
laboriously read, “Darkness was on the face of 
the earth — and God said, let there be light — 
and there wuz light.” 

He closed the book and looked round with 
rapt luminous eyes. “ That is me,” sez he, “ that 
is my experience.” 

“Amen! amen!” shouted the brethren. The 
little refined lookin’ woman in the blue dress 
started this verse and sung it through almost 
alone, in a clear sweet voice : 

“ I am but a traveller here, Heaven is my home. 

Earth’s but a desert drear, Heaven is my home. 

Time’s cold and chilling blast, soon will be over past, 

I shall reach home at last, Heaven is my home.” 

“Amen! amen! Now let us hear from 
another.” And one after another rose and 
told of the goodness of God and what He had 
done for them. The sweet earnest hims floated 
out ever and anon and over the place seemed 
to brood a Presence that boyed our sperits up 
as on wings, and I felt that we wuz there with 
one accord, and my soul seemed lifted up fur 


342 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

above Jones ville and Josiah, and all earthly 
troubles. 

All to once a woman rose with a light on her 
face as if she wuz lookin’ on sunthin’ fur above 
this earth. She delivered a eloquent exhortation 
in words of praise and ecstasy. More and more 
earnest and eloquent she grew and lifted up from 
earthly influences. At last she lifted her hands 
and stepped out with a swayin’ motion of her 
body, as if keepin’ step to some onhearn melody 
that ears stuffed with the cotton of worldliness 
and onbelief wuzn’t fine enough to ketch, and 
finally her feet begun to keep step with that 
mysterious music, that for all I know might 
have been soundin’ down from the ramparts 
of the New Jerusalem. Round and round she 
slowly swayed and stepped. Wuz it to the rythm 
of that invisible music? 

There wuz a look on her pure face as if she 
wuz hearin’ sunthin’ we didn’t. I wuz riz up 
and carried away some distance from myself. 
When still lookin’ up with that rapt luminous 
face she fell to the ground as prostrate as Saul 
did on the road to Jerusalem, and lay in that 
state, so I hearn afterwards, for a day and a night. 
Jest as she fell that iron gray man yelled out, 
“Bless the Lord!” 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 343 

And I sez, bein’ all wrought up, “Don’t you 
know when to say that, and when not to ? She 
might have broke her nose.” He looked queer. 

In a few minutes I see a stir round the speakers’ 
stand, and knew the speaker of the day, the 
great revivalist from the West, had come. 
And anon I see a tall noble figger passin’ through 
the crowd that made way for it reverentially. 
And lo and behold ! I see as I ketched a glimpse 
of his profile that it wuz the minister I had hearn 
at Thousand Island Park. The same sweet 
smile rested on his face as he looked round on 
his brethren and the crowd before him, some 
like a benediction, only more tender like, and 
a light seemed to be shinin’ through his counte- 
nance, ketched from some Divine power. 

It wuz the same face I had framed that sum- 
mer day in the Tabernacle at T. I. Park, and 
hung up in my mind right by the side' of Isaiah 
and St. Paul. Yes, I see agin the broad white 
forward with the brown hair mixed with gray 
thrown back from it kinder careless, his eyes 
had the same sweet sad expression, soft, yet 
deep lookin’, and pitiful, as if he wuz sorry for 
us and would love to teach us the secret he had 
found of how to overcome the world and its 
sins and sorrows. 


344 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

His prayer had the same power of lifting us 
up fur above the world and settin’ down our 
naked souls in the presence of Him who searcheth 
the heart, searchin’ and probin’ to our con- 
sciences, and yet consolin’, puttin’ us in mind 
of that text, “As a father pitieth his children” 
and yet wants ’em to mind. It wuz a prayer 
for help and as if we would git it. 

He read in that same sweet, melogious voice 
I remembered so well, Paul’s wonderful words 
about how he wuz led from the blackness of 
unbelief up into the Great Light, and how he 
wuz caught up into the Third Heaven and saw 
things so great and glorious that it would not 
be lawful for man to speak of them, and where 
he goes on to tell of his belief, his hope and his 
faith. The text wuz Paul’s words when he 
recalls those divine hours up on the heights 
alone with God: 

“Wherefore not being disobedient to the 
heavenly vision.” 

And as he went on, as uplifted as I wuz, I 
felt fearful ashamed to think how many times 
I had been disobedient to the Heavenly vision, 
the white ideals that shone out in my mind so 
high and clear in the mornin’ light, and I wuz 
so sure I could reach. But havin’ set down to 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 345 

rest in the heat of the day, and bein’ drawn off 
into the shadders and thickets of environin’ cares 
and perplexities, I didn’t git nigh enough to grasp 
holt of, and I whispered as much to my pardner. 

And he said he felt different, he had always 
ever sence he sot out marched right straight 
towards the Kingdom. 

Sez I, “ Josiah Allen, hain’t you ever mean- 
dered at all from that straight and narrer way?” 

“No mom, not a inch, not a hair’s breadth.” 
I wuz dumb-foundered by his conceit as many 
times as I had witnessed it. 

The sermon that follered wuz white and glowin’ 
with the light of Heaven. You could see that 
he had not been disobedient to that Divine vision 
that had been revealed to him. The deep sweet 
look of his eyes told of them supreme heights his 
own soul had reached. Upliftin’, sympathizin’, 
soul searchin’, callin’ on the best in every heart 
there to rise up and try to fly Heavenward. 

His looks and words rousted up my soul and 
carried me off so fur from the world and Piller 
Pint, that I lost sight entirely of the crowd 
around me. But anon I hearn a voice at my 
side and I see Faith had come back onbeknown 
to me (she had been in Sister Meechum’s tent 
mendin’ a rent in her dress). But when I 


346 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 

looked at her I realized how the face of St. 
Stephen looked. It sez, “His face shone like 
the face of an angel.” Faith’s looked jest so, 
only tears wuz slowly droppin’ from her eyes 
and runnin’ down her white cheeks. Sez I, 
whisperin’ to her with or in my axents, 

“What is it, Faith? What is it, dear? Is it 
the Power?” 

I most knew it wuz, and I wuz mekanically 
turnin’ it over in my mind what I should do with 
her if she fell over prostrate, and where I should 
lay her out. When she turned, her glowin’ 
awe-struck eyes held a world of joy and glory 
in each one on ’em. 

“Yes, it is the Power, the power and goodness 
of God.” And she whispered in blissful axents, 
“It is Richard, Richard redeemed and working 
for my Master.” 

I see it all, it wuz the lost lover of her youth, 
I read it in her face. You could have knocked 
me down with a clothes-pin aimed by a infant. 

“How come he here?” sez I in a onbelievin’ 
way. 

“God sent him!” She whispered. “He sent 
this blessedness to me, to know his soul is saved* 
that he is working for Him.” 

I felt queer. 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 347 

That afternoon they met under a ellum tree. 
He’d found out she wuz there, and asked for 
a interview, which I see that she granted him. It 
wuz a pretty spot, dost to the water, with trees 
of droopin’ ellums and some maples, and popples 
touched with fire and gold. The autumn leaves 
made a sort of canopy over their heads, and all 
round ’em wuz the soft melancholy quiet of the 
fall of the year. He stood there waitin’ for her. 

“Faith!” 

“Richard!” 

I don’t know how long they stood there, her 
little cold hands held in his big warm palms, 
his eyes searchin’ the dear face and findin’ a 
sacred meanin’ in it, and she in hisen. He wuz 
pale, his voice trembled like the popple leaves 
overhead, and visey versey hern. 

The settin’ sun glowed warm on the face of 
the water some as his eyes did, readin’ her sweet 
face, and some of that fire seemed to glow in 
his deep blue eyes. 

“I had been so wicked, Faith, I had done so 
much harm, I said I would never seek my own 
happiness, I would work only for my fellow 
creatures, striving if I might undo some of my 
evil work, but I see to-day that I have been an 


348 SAMANTHA AT CONEY ISLAND 



*7 don’t know how long they stood there, his eyes searchin’ 
the dear face and jindin’ a sacred meanin ’ in it.” 

(See page 347) 


AND A THOUSAND OTHER ISLANDS 349 

egotist. God would not be offended at my happi- 
ness if I could win the dear woman I have loved 
all these years. You have forgiven me, Faith, 
I see it in your sweet eyes.” 

Agin he paused, and nothin' broke the silence 
but the murmur of the blue waters swashin' 
up on the beach, and furder off through the 
trees some belated campers jest drivin’ onto 
the ground sung out with clear voices, 

“God moves in a mysterious way, 

His wonders to perform.” 

“ He led me here to-day. I had not seen your 
face for twenty years, but this morning, at day 
dawn, I stood at my open window striving to de- 
cide to which place I should go to-day. Through 
a mistake I was expected in two places. And 
as I stood thinking, your face dawned on my 
inner vision as plainly as I see it now, and I had 
to come here, something told me I must come. 
He led me here and you also. He has a mean- 
ing in this — shall we read it together, Faith?” 

And through the arched vista of autumn 
leaves they could see that the sky beyend the 
Pint gleamed out like a city of golden palaces. 
They seemed to be goin' through its gates — 
into the glory beyend. 





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